Deconversion?

Criada · #1 19th November 2009, 02:07 PM

Anyone want to share why... or why not?
I'm at a crossroads right now, and feeling very confused.
If anyone has deconverted, or come close to doing so and come back to Christianity, can you give some reasons for your decision?

Criada · #2 19th November 2009, 02:21 PM

That doesn't really help a great deal, does it?
If I'm not saved anyway, I guess it makes the decision for me, though...

SmileAndAHandshake · #3 19th November 2009, 02:25 PM

Originally Posted by Criada

Anyone want to share why... or why not?
I'm at a crossroads right now, and feeling very confused.
If anyone has deconverted, or come close to doing so and come back to Christianity, can you give some reasons for your decision?

I too am at a cross-roads

And that cross-road involves de-conversion.

Why? As I explained in another thread, while I love God with all my heart, I do not believe Christian scripture or teachings when it comes to the nature of Jesus.

I almost de-converted about 6 months ago. I came back to Christianity because I felt the only reason I was de-converting was because I was being persecuted for holding more liberal beliefs by other moderate to conservative Christians (which was true at the time). So I decided it was only fair to give it one more chance without those influences being a factor. So I pushed those people away from me who were being problematic, and I gave the situation a fresh look over the last half a year.

Upon re-examining the situation with a new outlook, I still find myself with the exact same problems... so I'm now standing at the same cross-road again where I just can't accept a lot of Christian scripture nor it's teachings. Now I'm at this "almost de-converted" stage again. I basically have had to admit to myself that I can't go on calling myself a Christian though, so I have done so.

I've commenced studying in-depth of other religions to find a new place, if that's what God wants of me.

I am strictly doing God's work and I believe that fully, though Christians (and atheists) would probably bawk at me for saying that. Regardless, whether there are lessons I need to learn before I can return to my previous religion, or whether I am destined to be in a different religion, or no religion at all... no matter what it is, this is what God wants of me (to study and self-examine and make changes, whatever those changes may be). So I'm doing it.

Hmm.. that's my story and where I'm at

Dark_Lite · #4 19th November 2009, 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by Criada

Anyone want to share why... or why not?
I'm at a crossroads right now, and feeling very confused.
If anyone has deconverted, or come close to doing so and come back to Christianity, can you give some reasons for your decision?

I "deconverted" a long time ago when I realized that philosophical proofs for God's existence don't work. I was agnostic for quite awhile. Only came back several years later after what could best be described as an itch in my brain.

Pwnzerfaust · #5 19th November 2009, 02:37 PM

Originally Posted by Criada

Anyone want to share why... or why not?
I'm at a crossroads right now, and feeling very confused.
If anyone has deconverted, or come close to doing so and come back to Christianity, can you give some reasons for your decision?

I "deconverted" because belief in a deity is simply illogical. There's no evidence, so no more reason to believe in any gods than there is to believe in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. Now, that's not to say I believe there are no gods. I just don't believe there are. There is a difference.

JesusFreak4L · #6 19th November 2009, 02:38 PM

Criada!

Hey you!

I recently have had a time where I felt that deconversion was the best decision for me and my current state I was in. I was into drinking, sex, drugs, and struggling to even find good strong Christian friends. My life was horrible and I had no where to go to find a place to find some relief or answers.

Starting this fall, I started talking to my sister who threw some verses at me and started praying for me in my life with Christ. She reminded me that no matter what I do when it comes to sin, He will NEVER EVER desert or leave me. Christ is our best friend who wants us to be relieved and happy. Continue to search after Him Sarah! Christ WILL bless you, just remember that He is your father! I will be praying for you whole-heartedly and thinking of you!

You are such a blessing to SO many people here and I will never forget all the great things that you taught me!

Please PM me if you have any questions or wanna talk!

-Cameron

leftrightleftrightleft · #7 19th November 2009, 02:38 PM

i was deconverted then i came back. the main reason why i was turned off christianity was because i was raised catholic. i got sick of the rituals, the rules, the obligations. i also got caught up in the literalism of it all, i read a bunch of books about falsities, misinterpretations and myths in the bible. i got turned off by the history of the church, by the politicization of religion, and most of all, by the ignorance, disrespect and hypocrisy that so many christians exhibit. (and this forum is a perfect example of that).

i did not see god in religion. so i found god in my own personal experiences, little things, my own little rituals and self-reflection.

one thing that made me come back was that i realized that christianity should not be a religion. jesus did not want christianity to be a religion. he wanted love and respect and a world without sin or guilt or regret. "religion" divides. its tribal. faith restores. what brought me back to christianity was the simplicity of the message yet the profoundness at the same time. God = love. Love your neighbor as yourself. Live with compassion, respect. Do not envy or be prideful. All these simple, and somewhat universal, truths appear in the gospels many times. i see christianity as a way of life: bringing God into the everyday and the mundane and spreading love and joy. the amazing thing about christianity which makes it different than every other religion is that it has these things that you should do but it clearly states that you WILL fail. you will die with many failures, shortcomings, fears, and mistakes. you will hurt people, lie, be envious and self-righteous. but God will forgive you.

i think the biggest thing out of all this that pulled me back to christianity is that no one has it all figured out. no one understands everything. christianity is a religion of interpretation. it is broad and deep. if you find some christians who aren't ignorant and close-minded like i did, you may find God, love and peace in the "religion" once again.

I suggest two books: Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell and More Ready Than You Realize by Brian McLaren. And maybe read Luke while you're at it, but try reading only the words that Jesus speaks and nothing else.

leftrightleftrightleft · #8 19th November 2009, 02:38 PM

sorry...long post

Catherineanne · #9 19th November 2009, 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by Criada

Anyone want to share why... or why not?
I'm at a crossroads right now, and feeling very confused.
If anyone has deconverted, or come close to doing so and come back to Christianity, can you give some reasons for your decision?

I am sorry you are in a difficult place, Criada. It is very possible that you are experiencing what John of the Cross called the Dark Night of the Soul; in effect losing one version of God and finding a more authentic one. This is not an easy journey, and some people do end up getting lost.

I will pray for you.

http://www.karmel.at/ics/john/dn_11.html

2. If there is no one to understand these persons, they either turn back and abandon the road or lose courage, or at least they hinder their own progress because of their excessive diligence in treading the path of discursive meditation. They fatigue and overwork themselves, thinking that they are failing because of their negligence or sins. Meditation is now useless for them because God is conducting them along another road, which is contemplation and is very different from the first, for the one road belongs to discursive meditation and the other is beyond the range of the imagination and discursive reflection. 3. Those who are in this situation should feel comforted; they ought to persevere patiently and not be afflicted. Let them trust in God who does not fail those who seek him with a simple and righteous heart; nor will he fail to impart what is needful for the way until getting them to the clear and pure light of love. God will give them this light by means of that other night, the night of spirit, if they merit that he place them in it. 4. The attitude necessary in the night of sense is to pay no attention to discursive meditation since this is not the time for it. They should allow the soul to remain in rest and quietude even though it may seem obvious to them that they are doing nothing and wasting time, and even though they think this disinclination to think about anything is due to their laxity. Through patience and perseverance in prayer, they will be doing a great deal without activity on their part. All that is required of them here is freedom of soul, that they liberate themselves from the impediment and fatigue of ideas and thoughts, and care not about thinking and meditating. They must be content simply with a loving and peaceful attentiveness to God, and live without the concern, without the effort, and without the desire to taste or feel him. All these desires disquiet the soul and distract it from the peaceful, quiet, and sweet idleness of the contemplation that is being communicated to it.

http://en.hilarion.orthodoxia.org/6_6_3

In this sense abandonment is the highest stage of ‘crisis’, judgment, whereby the faithful are separated from the unfaithful. The experience of abandonment has only two possible outcomes for every Christian - either growth of faith and drawing nearer to God, or a ‘shipwreck’ in faith and a loss of God. Thus Isaac cautions against cursing God during the periods of abandonment and temptation, which may lead to a loss of faith. When one is deprived of grace, Isaac says, trust in God and a right way of thinking about God’s providence are abandoned; a person can come to the ‘conclusion that God no longer exists for him’. But instead of being angry at God, it is better for a person to remind himself of God’s good providence, and to calm himself down: ‘Draw near a little to God in your trials, O fellow human being, by means of your mental disposition. Are you really aware against whom you are thundering away? You would immediately find relief if you have the wisdom to remember the hidden providence of this very same God’.

Catherineanne · #10 19th November 2009, 02:50 PM

Originally Posted by Criada

That doesn't really help a great deal, does it?
If I'm not saved anyway, I guess it makes the decision for me, though...

It is the other way round. You can have whatever doubts come your way, but you cannot erase your name from the Book of Life. When the Lord writes something, it stays written.

Meanwhile, here is your anchor:

I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

Keep trusting, even when belief has gone, faith has gone, connection with God has gone. Throw away everything that you do not need any longer, but hold on to that trust.

The Lord will not abandon you.