PLEASE HELP! I REALLY could use some advice!

This probably explains best what I'm feeling/doing in my heart right now...

In the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25), there are the three servants. What I see in the first two is that it doesn't matter how much they were given or how much they earned, but most of all that their hearts were patiently waiting for their Lord because they couldn't wait to see Him and show them all that they had done out of love for Him.

The last servant (which perfectly shows my heart right now) is lazy, selfish, prideful, and angry at His Lord for whatever reason even though everything He had ever had was from his master's hand. The most potent thing is the state of his heart toward his master, and I have the same heart right now that thinks "I will not have Him reign over me, I can do this myself, I don't need Him, I don't want Him..."

How do I lay down my pride and everything else right now when my heart is in a worse state than that wicked servant? I'm prideful, my heart wants to earn my way to God, and I project my sins and flaws on others and think wickedly of them too. How do I ever turn from this? Will God help me to change my heart toward Him before Jesus comes back and I give an account? And most importantly, have any of you been through this before, and have seen the light on the other side where you've been given a heart than honestly loves and is patiently and faithfully waiting for your bridegroom to come back? And do you have any advice on how I can make the right steps back toward actually loving God out of a pure heart and not out of legalism and pride?

I think if you talked with God about this, you would get an answer. No? Leaning on Him for grace accompanies leaning on Him for verification, for answers to prayer, for power in your life.

I would guess that if you're resistant to His help, you're resistant to letting Him work in this situation. Just a guess, not an accusation. Lean on Him! Talk to Him about this. You know His terms in your head -- by grace are you saved, through faith.

It sounds to me like you're already a faith-filled person, but you're expecting more of yourself. Maybe there is a little spiritual competition going on among your peers, or you just never seem to feel acceptable to God. Determine to believe what His Word says -- grace, love and all.

Make it a decision, rather than a sensation. No false humility, no wanting to climb the sociospiritual ladder, just a life of getting to know Him.

1Jn 3:20 For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.

It takes time to understand that you can't change yourself. Once you begin to accept the fact that you are not responsible for what you find yourself in because of the cross, you will find that all the heavy stuff seems as if it wasn't even there. So again, time, patience.

Another point about the three servants is that the two "good and faithful" servants went and did something with the talents that they were given. You might try volunteering in at a local soup kitchen or at a YMCA or other such establishment. I have noticed that it is harder to be full of my own self-importance (and believe me I have a lot of self-importance) when I am actively engaged in helping and serving others. I hope this helps either way I will pray for you. God bless

Another point about the three servants is that the two "good and faithful" servants went and did something with the talents that they were given. You might try volunteering in at a local soup kitchen or at a YMCA or other such establishment. I have noticed that it is harder to be full of my own self-importance (and believe me I have a lot of self-importance) when I am actively engaged in helping and serving others. I hope this helps either way I will pray for you. God bless

This sounds like a perfect time to read Romans ch:7. It will perfectly explain the struggles you are experiencing and then tell you at the end what you need to fix the problem. The problem is our heart-we all need a new one. Remember, while reading this chapter, that the writer Paul was as probably the closest thing you could find to a STRONG Christian-yet he struggled immensely!

I view a big point of the parable of the talents is that God is the One who gives us what we have, whether it is the wicked or the righteousness. Another point is the wicked are distrustful of God, notice how the one with one talent viewed God. And another point is God gives to us what we have and we are expected to work with that and contribute to it -- though we should never forget, we can not boast for we only work from what we were given in the first place and the returns are static.

As for your understanding, it is very high. Most people have no understanding or notice - or so it seems - about projecting their own sins onto others or thinking wickedly of them.

As for legalism, just throw it out. Live differently. Love justifies all things. Trying to second guess everything is a trap.

We live in strong majority Christian societies. Look around at people outside your groups. Are they bad people? Who is doing good? How do you know that? And so on. I often find my concept of morality changes as I consider myself when judging others - weighing them and what they do - and coming to the conclusion their behavior is fine. Mercy trumps judgment.

If anything legalism is the big thing to stay away from. The Romans wanted to release Jesus. It was the Pharisees and their followers who believed in them who would not have that. Yes, countless pagans have persecuted and did persecute Christians horribly. But the most hard core persecution you see from Pharisee-like societies. Remember, the Christians were persecuted by the Romans later because of religious elements of their society.

Simply watching movies, television, reading fiction and non-fiction - exposing yourself to culture at large - should force you to examine a very complex array of human behavior. What is good? What is bad?

One great key, I have found, is that in love, written rules must be thrown out the window. One must have a focus of that love. Without love and without a focus of that love, then what does one have? No motive. No direction. So, they can sit around and worry about "do this" and "do not do that".

One good way I have found is to examine the plight of those in trouble. Once one sees their trouble, the Spirit of Christ, the Spirit of Love should inspire you to hurt over that and want to do something about it.

Maybe this means people in totalitarian countries who suffer horrendously in miserable circumstances without the knowledge of God -- and because of their lack of the knowledge of God their nations suffer needlessly. Maybe here, in our own cities. Crime is rampant. Or helping legalists get out of their shallow thinking, seeing the judgment before their feet -- seeing the shallow, close minded, cardboard lives they are stuck into?