Choosing between sisters

Briseis · #1 6th November 2009, 11:40 PM

Do you think it is ok for me to choose a maid of honor from my two sisters? My mother is afraid that it could cause tension between them if I seem to have a favourite. She suggested I flip a coin and let them know it was random. I love both my sisters, but I do have one I would like to choose for other reasons. She is the oldest and is already married so she would know things I dont, since the maid of honor usually helps and does shopping with the bride, etc. Also she lives nearby while my other sister lives about a 10 hr drive from here. I think they would understand. What do you think?

CF_ChristianKitten24 · #2 7th November 2009, 01:19 PM

I'd say be honest about it with them. If you explain why you made your choice then they should understand. Plus it would be alot harder for the sister that lives further away to help you out as much , so releiving her of that responsibility is probably a good thing. But talk with them both and explain things before you announce anything

Briseis · #3 7th November 2009, 04:15 PM

Lol good idea. That seems obvious.

Thanx.

SmileAndAHandshake · #4 7th November 2009, 04:19 PM

A Maid of Honor is an unmarried perseon, and a Matron of Honor is a married person.

Therefor, you could have both. It is not uncommon for people with multiple sisters to choose both a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor when they have a married and an unmarried sister or set of friends.

Sometimes the bride will decide to have both a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor. In this case, the "Maid" stands closest to the bride, holding her bouquet and serving as the witness.

You may or may not choose to have an extra groomsmen for the Matron of Honor because her husband will join her during the reception. She and the Maid of Honor could both walk in the recessional with the Best Man. (source: The Maid/Matron of Honor)

This would give your unmarried further-away sister some sense of importance in the wedding (being the witness / holding the bouquet), and give you still the opportunity to have your other sister (Matron of Honor) help you plan the wedding and what not. Some different roles, both of importance.

Just a thought.

But if you don't wanna go that route, I think family who love and support you will take it well if you just discuss it with them

Briseis · #5 7th November 2009, 08:22 PM

I've never seen anyone bother to make the distinction between maid and matron before. When I hear 'maid' I dont actually think virgin, even if that is what it is supposed to mean, and I didnt think anyone did. Not that my unmarried sister is a virgin either. She lives common law. I have been to weddings with a married maid of honor before.

LovesToBless · #6 8th November 2009, 11:32 AM

I was in a friend's wedding, and she had me and a single woman as her matron/maid's of honor. She also had bridemaids as well.

My son was in a wedding a year ago, and the groom had 2 best "men".

At the end of the day, though...one person is closest (physically standing) to the bride or groom. For example, with my son, he's the one who had the rings and stood next to the groom.

SmileAndAHandshake · #7 8th November 2009, 01:01 PM

Originally Posted by Briseis

I've never seen anyone bother to make the distinction between maid and matron before. When I hear 'maid' I dont actually think virgin, even if that is what it is supposed to mean, and I didnt think anyone did. Not that my unmarried sister is a virgin either. She lives common law. I have been to weddings with a married maid of honor before.

Where I grew up, married "maids of honor" were always called matron

And I had a cousin who had both.

Anyway you can google it, it's legit

But I suppose it might be becoming a dying tradition. Tradition none the less though.

Briseis · #8 8th November 2009, 05:23 PM

Yeah, but there are so many different ways you can do it. As LovesToBless, said, they've been to a wedding with 2 vest men. Thats different. Its up tot he people getting married I guess.

SmileAndAHandshake · #9 8th November 2009, 06:02 PM

oh totally

ido · #10 10th November 2009, 05:46 PM

It sounds like you are choosing your older sister out of convenience. If that's the case, then why not do as BeyondAshes suggested? Typically a married woman is called a Matron of Honor and an unmarried woman is called a Maid of Honor.

Either that, or have some other equally special thing your younger sister could do for the ceremony - a reading, or sing a song (if she can sing ), or something like that.