I'ld like people to post the reasons why getting married is beneficial and desirable. I'm a product of two broken marriages, and even the ones I see that are still together aren't exactly the beacons of happiness I hear people speak of when talking about the joys of marriage.
I'ld like people to post the reasons why getting married is beneficial and desirable. I'm a product of two broken marriages, and even the ones I see that are still together aren't exactly the beacons of happiness I hear people speak of when talking about the joys of marriage.
You need a new set of friends.
I'm more than half serious. Marriage is or at least should be a sign of a comittment already made. That is how I look at it and I suspect that is part of the reason that divorce is rare in my family. counting my parents and grandparents that means 3 marriages that lasted over 50 years. Going back to great grandparents 4. The others in that generation I'm not sure about simly because they were dead before i was grown. All happy marriages until the end, except for my fathers parents, and even there it was happy until near the end when ongoing physical pain exacted a toll on his father.
Yes, but do you need marriage to show that commitment? Isn't it better to be with someone everyday because you realy want to be with them, instead of being with them because it easier than getting a divorce?
Being in the military, the only way to be with my fiance is to tie the knot. I've spent 4 years away from her, only seeing her once every 6 months or so. We decided we're not going to say goodbye again.
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I'ld like people to post the reasons why getting married is beneficial and desirable. I'm a product of two broken marriages, and even the ones I see that are still together aren't exactly the beacons of happiness I hear people speak of when talking about the joys of marriage.
I agree with the poster that stated you needed a new set of friends. It sounds like you have your mind already made up, but we can see where your'e coming from. You just have to see it for yourself that it can happen. My parents divorced, and they both divorced one more time before marrying for the third times. Now, that is NOT my suggestion or support in how to get it done. I am divorced myself, but I HAVE seen couples who are truely happy. It doesn't mean that they dont have struggles. They get through them differently than others though. It's possible.
So, I get your drift in not believing it because of not observing it yourself. It wasn't until I met others outside of my family/social circle of the time, that I believed the opposite of "my norm" was real.
Good luck
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Saying I need a new set of friends isn't exactly a convincing argument. And with the divorce rate the way it is, it doesn't matter who I meet, or where i go, half the people will have been divorced, or on their way to it.
Now, the military argument is a fair one, though doesn't apply to me or most people and is more marrying out of convienence and necessity more than than sheer love. I know because I have a friend in the Air Force that did the same thing, married his long time girlfriend so she could live on base, ect.
But unless circumstances force you into it, I see no reason to tie myself down to anyone person. Amrriage leads to taking the other person for granted. Not valuing them the same way you did when you first met. Letting your looks go. Things like that. You have em, and for them to get away, they have to rip their their lip off, so why try so hard to keep em?
But when you're with someone and not married, you have to earn that love everyday. You have to keep winning them over, not taking them for granted.
Saying I need a new set of friends isn't exactly a convincing argument. And with the divorce rate the way it is, it doesn't matter who I meet, or where i go, half the people will have been divorced, or on their way to it.
Actually that isn't true. Half of all marriages end in divorce but well over half of all people have a single long marriage. It sounds counterintuitive but it basically means that some people have multiple failed marriages. The odds of having good marriage really aren't that bad.
EDIT: Let me qualify that a bit. Well over half of all people who get married have a single long marriage.
Originally Posted by Blitzman
But unless circumstances force you into it, I see no reason to tie myself down to anyone person. Amrriage leads to taking the other person for granted. Not valuing them the same way you did when you first met. Letting your looks go. Things like that. You have em, and for them to get away, they have to rip their their lip off, so why try so hard to keep em?
It's a bit more complicated than that, but it doesn't have to be that way. Marriage does lead to taking for granted that they will be there with you, but that doesn't mean you do not love and value them as your partner and best friend. Sex ceases to be the primary motivator of chasing after the other person and the two of you can grow together without an ulterior motive.
Originally Posted by Blitzman
But when you're with someone and not married, you have to earn that love everyday. You have to keep winning them over, not taking them for granted.
I'm not sure that is necessarily true, but another way of looking at it is that if you know they can disappear at any time for any reason, you are less likely to make the same emotional investment because it could be all for nothing.
Because you want that commitment in your life. Staying married because divorce isn't nice really isn't a good reason to stay together in my opinion. I think that marriage is a challenge and people who aren't willing to work hard aren't ever going to gain the real prize of staying with someone for a lifetime, always having someone to talk to, sharing tons of memories with one another. The benefits aren't necessarily things you can place in a list and I'm sure that I've experienced only a tiny little sliver of the things that my husband and I will experience, too.
If marriage isn't for you, then it isn't for you. There shouldn't be any reason to get married other than it feels right and you are prepared to go through the good and bad with one single person.
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09.15.2007
You always marry the wrong person… love does not create marriage;
rather marriage provides a good training ground to teach us what love involves.
I'ld like people to post the reasons why getting married is beneficial and desirable. I'm a product of two broken marriages, and even the ones I see that are still together aren't exactly the beacons of happiness I hear people speak of when talking about the joys of marriage.
I have seen a lot of happy marriages.
So why not get married?
Isn't my anecdotal evidence as good as yours?
But in all seriousness, isn't a marriage the more ideal institution in which to raise a family? There is a lot of sociological evidence of this.
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