Tax reasons. Unless you're old and one of you is going to have to go into a long term care facility, then you need to divorce for medicaid eligibility.
Perhaps getting married is best for raising kids. Hadn't really thought about that too much, not too keen on having any myself.
But even then, being the product of two broken marriages, I question whether marriage is the best circumstance to raise a family.
And aren't there various legal forms you can fill out to care care of insurance, medicade and the other legal and medical issues that are solved with marriage?
The nihilist's comment on divorce made me throw out a cynical smile.
Originally Posted by Blitzman
Perhaps getting married is best for raising kids. Hadn't really thought about that too much, not too keen on having any myself.
But even then, being the product of two broken marriages, I question whether marriage is the best circumstance to raise a family.
And aren't there various legal forms you can fill out to care care of insurance, medicade and the other legal and medical issues that are solved with marriage?
I think that mostly the thing we should pursue is to root our marriages in the truth of the relationship that we have.
There is something about the modern times that has caused many of our marriages to crumble. Perhaps it is the overly individualistic society that we are now living in.
That analysis I leave up to the sociologists.
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“The egalitarian mania of demagogues is even more dangerous than the brutality of men in gallooned coats... Anyone who has been oppressed can get back on his feet if the oppression did not cost him his life. A man who has been equalized is physically and morally ruined." - Ernst Jünger (March 29, 1895 – February 17, 1998)
But in all seriousness, isn't a marriage the more ideal institution in which to raise a family?
Yes, it isn´t, in my opinion.
There is a lot of sociological evidence of this.
Which doesn´t tell me much if this sociological evidence is found in societies in which marriage is broadly considered and practiced as the standard way of raising a family.
Not conforming with societal standards makes life harder, usually.
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Why I call myself a „non-believer“ or „atheist“:
I can´t relate to any of the god concepts I´m familiar with so far.
Either I´m not convinced by the concept, or
– although not having a problem with the worldview itself -
I see no reason to call one of its elements „God“:
There are already more precise, more common, less loaded and less likely to be misunderstood terms for these elements.
E.g. I prefer to call nature „nature“, the universe „universe“ and everything „everything“.
I suspect most people get married to symbolise their love, add in that it's quite a societal norm and groups such as your church and/or family expect you to get married you can see why many people end up doing it.
Personally I don't think you have to get married to show your love or commitment, there has to be a better reason than that, the cynical part of me thinks that most people are sheep that will do things because they seem like a good idea because everyone else does it, without fully thinking through why it's a good idea. For instance they'll say "we're getting married because we love each other", if you ask them why you have to get married because you love each other, I suspect the question will be met with a few 'ums' and 'ahs', and maybe if they're particularly nutty they might quote you some scripture, but that isn't really thinking things through for yourself.
There can be tax benefits though, and I suppose for the person who earns the least amount of money in the relationship, it has even more real benefits, as you'll presumably be financially supported plus you get half their stuff at the end of it or all their stuff in the case of the marriage ending in death. Not much mention of love or commitment there but it is a reason nevertheless. Other reasons mentioned such as so that the military recognise your relationship or so that one person can remain in the country at least are real reasons too.
Getting married purely for love, ironically, seems to be the weakest reason of all to get married.
I do understand your point about the commitment being there, and words or license not being necessary. However, the point to ceremony is to make formal public statement of what is already one's intentions.
In addition, the point to marriage is to nail that commitment down. People change; if you're prepared to say you will be with someone for the long haul (and that's what marriage should be), then you need to say that, even if you end up in an argument, you'll keep that commitment -- and to have your beloved make the same commitment to you. Beyond this, most but not all marriages result in children -- and a part of the pledge is for their benefit: they will have a committed couple to rely on while they are growing up. Anyone who has lost one or both parents, to death or separation, can tell you how important that is to a kid. (I am not saying that marriage is exclusively for having children, just that most do have them, and why a formalized marriage is important to them if and when they come along.)
It's being willing to assure stability in your beloved's life, and to have him/her assure you of stability in yours, to formalize and celebrate the commitment you have made, that marriage exists and works.
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"It is written, 'My house shall be a house of prayer,' but you have made it a den of thieves." -Jesus
Marriage doesn't stop people from breaking up and leaving kids with broken homes. It tend to keep people together to the point where they absolutely hate each other, instead being a relatively peaceful seperation, it turns into a war over money, property, custody, ect.
And yes, people do change, that's the point. Do you want to be chained down with someone who completely changes and isn't the person you fell in love with?
Studies have shown that married men live longer than bachelors, especially if they marry a smart woman.
A friend of mine got a civil union recently, and she had resisted for a long time, saying she didn't need to prove her commitment to her girlfriend, they knew they were committed,etc.
Then the girlfriend went to the states for six weeks. And my friend was struck down by the awful thought "What if something happens? If something terrible happens no one else will know that she was the one, that she was the forever girlfriend."
Her girlfriend returned safely and they were civil unioned a month later. They married not to prove their commitment to one another, but to show their commitment in front of everyone else.
__________________ The sixth day he told the head doctor,
“I am the light in the void;
I am who I am.’
The seventh day he was lobotomised;
The brain of God was cut in half.
Marriage doesn't stop people from breaking up and leaving kids with broken homes. It tend to keep people together to the point where they absolutely hate each other, instead being a relatively peaceful seperation, it turns into a war over money, property, custody, ect.
And yes, people do change, that's the point. Do you want to be chained down with someone who completely changes and isn't the person you fell in love with?
Not marrying doesn't necessarily stop any of that either. What makes you think most non-married couples break up peacefully? You aren't going to be able to make any absolute statements here. You can only generalize about what is true on average. On average people who marry stay married and live longer, happier lives.
If you're looking for a guarantee of a future outcome, you're out of luck.
My mother had already had one failed marriage before I was born. My parents divorced when I was 4. My mother remarried when I was 7 and divorced again when I was 14. My father remarried when I was 11 and divorced again when I was 18. My father has remarried again, divorced, and remarried again. My wife has a similar set of multiple parental-divorce experiences. We met as teenagers and we have been together for 17 years. Good times, really bad times, sickness, health, richer, extremely poorer, we've weathered them all. Coming from a broken home is no excuse to dodge marriage.
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