I'll be the first to admit, they only reason I stayed abstinent is pretty much because...well...most any girl can do better than me without even trying.
The question isn't about, "does not having sex work?" - of course it does. The question is about, "is it realistic to ask...can people actually not have sex? Can they actually do 'Abstinence only'?"
__________________ -"We build everything in straight lines and rectangles and so on...whenever you see this sort of thing you know humans have been around because they're always trying to straighten things out. But nature itself is clouds, there's water, there's mountains, the outlines of continents, there's biological existences and all of them wiggle. And wiggly things...are to human consciousness a little bit of a nuisance, because we wanna figure it out." -"we operate on the assumption that clients have no idea what they are doing or talking about" -"Theosis is communion – the shared life of a never-ending community of deification where none resurrects alone."
Last edited by Command0182; 6th November 2009 at 02:58 PM.
...well...most any girl can do better than me without even trying.
That's the spirit!
__________________ "If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward."
- Jack Handey
I think that keeping sex for those that you are in love with is the best way to live (I admit it isn't entirely obvious). That would make me abstinent, yes, as I have never been in a romantic relationship.
I admit that this secular reasoning would allow many people not to be abstinent, and rather supports serial monogamy.
My reasons for thinking that a person should not allow their marriage to end is influenced by religion.
It is pretty obvious that if you are in love with someone, and it is returned (which is necessary for the relationship to be healthy), then you can wait a little bit to be married before having sex.
Abstinence only does not educate people about their bodies and about sex and sexuality. Therefor when a person who fails at abstinence-only (since no one is perfect and it happens to the best of people), they will be ill-prepared to deal with sex and the potential repercussions.
It ends up in 15 year old girls getting pregnant because they are flawed people who fell to temptation, and then honestly didn't realize they could get pregnant: the first time they had sex, lying in a certain position, on a certain day of the month, and so on and so on and so on.. They rely on rumors and friends for information instead of teachers and well-researched books and other reading material.
Instead, they had parents who told them "Just don't" and didn't allow them to get the proper education they needed (parents who refuse to sign the stupid permission slips to take a sexual health class, for instance).
Don't get me wrong -- people who are well-educated still get pregnant too. But I'm saying education all around gives you a better chance at dealing with whatever may come your way.
Abstinence teaching is fine as long as it is combined with other education.
I answered "no" on the poll. It leaves people uninformed, confused, ill-prepared ...
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"... that scripture possessed a literal and historical meaning,
but that this interpretation was only for 'simple believers of simple mind,'
those whose spiritual maturity could not grasp the Word's deeper dimensions."
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Last edited by BeyondAshes; 6th November 2009 at 02:54 PM.
Personally, I think the problem with churches that teach abstinence (which is pretty much the assumed) is that they don't really talk about WHY it's important to abstain. Saying "Don't have sex because it's a gift God gave to married people" does everything for that crazy girl who is dating Jesus (you know you knew her!) but nothing to the people on the fringes.
A lot of the rules listed in the old testament were things God put into place for the health and safety of his people. I could say "go fifty feet out of the city, dig a hole and take a crap because that's what God says" or I could explain that if everybody crapped in the city, it would smell bad and be dirty and really be unhealthy, etc.
Another problem that arises, I think, is that people only talk about sex as in two people getting naked and.. well you know the mechanics of what I mean! But what happens if just ONE person is naked? and what if you're not naked but doing a lot of touching? THOSE things need to be addressed because for 14-15-16 year old kids, that is a SLIPPERY slope.
Before the summer I talked to my sister about how she and her boyfriend should handle themselves at camp.. and I told her "it's not that I don't trust you or Isaac, it's just that I don't trust your bodies when it is dark, you are alone, and he starts to kiss you."
It's stupid.. it's always talked about as if your brain can always overrule what your body decides. wrong wrong wrong. time to start getting real.
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stephanie
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Course it works. You don't have sex...you don't get someone pregnant.
While sex was made by God as an enjoyable experience, it was done so for a married couple only.
The biggest problem is that this world we live in is literally saturated with sex. Movies, tv shows, magazines, billboards, the news, radio, internet...everywhere. As Christians we have let our standards drop to the point hwere we live barley any different to the world. We indulge in the same movies, magazines, porn as them.
What then happens is that we put sex on an alter; above what is realistic. Then the temptation gets the better of us, we give in, and then realise that it wasn't all it was built up to be in our minds as we thought. That's when reality kicks in and guilt tortures us.
I do agree that we need to educate people why they should refrain from sex outside marriage. No holds barred. Give it to them straight about the consequences.
__________________ "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."
I have nothing against abstinence at all. It DOES work, if people understand why it's a good idea and what benefits it has. It doesn't mean that you have to be ignorant or uptight about it but it's a system that works and keeps people (mostly teens) from screwing up their lives and the lives of those around them.
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The biggest problem is that this world we live in is literally saturated with sex. Movies, tv shows, magazines, billboards, the news, radio, internet...everywhere. As Christians we have let our standards drop to the point hwere we live barley any different to the world. We indulge in the same movies, magazines, porn as them.
So the temptation to have sex is completely external. It's all that media garbage. Nothing to do with puberty or hormones....none of that?
__________________ -"We build everything in straight lines and rectangles and so on...whenever you see this sort of thing you know humans have been around because they're always trying to straighten things out. But nature itself is clouds, there's water, there's mountains, the outlines of continents, there's biological existences and all of them wiggle. And wiggly things...are to human consciousness a little bit of a nuisance, because we wanna figure it out." -"we operate on the assumption that clients have no idea what they are doing or talking about" -"Theosis is communion – the shared life of a never-ending community of deification where none resurrects alone."
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