I had some birth family come into my life recently and they have treated me cruelly, this has been a horrible drain on my family and career. My wife suggests I dump em and move on, and is very angry at them.
__________________ What they meant for evil, God meant for good.
Last edited by ToughAsCoffinNails; 6th November 2009 at 11:18 PM.
Wow, that is an amazing and horrible story. I can actually relate, though... I recently came into a great deal of money and had relatives come out of the woodwork. Relatives I didn't even know I had. People who had ignored me my entire life now wanted to be best friends.
I think your situation is very similar. I can understand why a brother would be cruel and loving. Sibling rivalry. Foolish thing, really, because everyone has something to bring to the table.
Your dad probably resented you, too, I hate to say. That is not at all unheard of.
Definitely, get them out of your lives, though, at least until they sort out their priorities.
'A friend close is better then a brother far away'.
Jesus asks we not regard family as unbelievers do, but to expand our love to even strangers -- and see potentially anyone as a 'mother or brother or sister'.
So, no wonder He also said, 'in this life you will have many homes and brothers and sisters and mothers for giving them up to put the Kingdom first'. Because such a heart is free and does have many homes, and many family.
Loving your enemies is about seeing how they are family, or could be family. It is about expanding your horizons.
But, in your case, the truth is simple: because these people have problems, they are treating you very badly. You are not a bastard to be treated like that. God loves you deeply. I am sure they do, too, but they are only human.
Give them time to think on matters, and pray. Maybe God will warm their hearts.
In the meantime, get some comedy into the mix. Check out at your video store the Lost and 30 Rock episodes about the long lost fathers. Both cases, they needed kidneys. Together, I think you will find it very funny.
'Comedy is good medicine'. Life is bigger then our little personal dramas. They can hurt, but that is okay... and there are times to move on. Give people room to change.
Wow, that is an amazing and horrible story. I can actually relate, though... I recently came into a great deal of money and had relatives come out of the woodwork. Relatives I didn't even know I had. People who had ignored me my entire life now wanted to be best friends.
I think your situation is very similar. I can understand why a brother would be cruel and loving. Sibling rivalry. Foolish thing, really, because everyone has something to bring to the table.
Your dad probably resented you, too, I hate to say. That is not at all unheard of.
Definitely, get them out of your lives, though, at least until they sort out their priorities.
'A friend close is better then a brother far away'.
Jesus asks we not regard family as unbelievers do, but to expand our love to even strangers -- and see potentially anyone as a 'mother or brother or sister'.
So, no wonder He also said, 'in this life you will have many homes and brothers and sisters and mothers for giving them up to put the Kingdom first'. Because such a heart is free and does have many homes, and many family.
Loving your enemies is about seeing how they are family, or could be family. It is about expanding your horizons.
But, in your case, the truth is simple: because these people have problems, they are treating you very badly. You are not a bastard to be treated like that. God loves you deeply. I am sure they do, too, but they are only human.
Give them time to think on matters, and pray. Maybe God will warm their hearts.
In the meantime, get some comedy into the mix. Check out at your video store the Lost and 30 Rock episodes about the long lost fathers. Both cases, they needed kidneys. Together, I think you will find it very funny.
'Comedy is good medicine'. Life is bigger then our little personal dramas. They can hurt, but that is okay... and there are times to move on. Give people room to change.
Thank you Freeport!
I have thought about this and agree with you and my wife. It hurts to let them go, but I can't go on like this. I have to think of my family.
__________________ What they meant for evil, God meant for good.
Letting them know that you can only financially support your own wife and family can relieve their anger. You would ask Jesus to be accepted in their lives and that your fathering loving spirit will always be with them everywhere they go, even with newly adopted parents.
__________________ I learn to accept Jesus Christ and our God the Father by default.
I have thought about this and agree with you and my wife. It hurts to let them go, but I can't go on like this. I have to think of my family.
Np, glad to help!
I know how tough it is.
My advice is to cease all contact. Forget about them everytime they come into your heart. Tell them how you feel at least once. There is no reason to leave them in the dark. Usually when people do evil, they simply do not know any better.
Family that is not friends is not family at all.
I sincerely do not think I love my family more then friends. It is the same substance. But, family are always there. If they are not friends, then what are they?
People get way too much into genetics for my taste. I meet strangers all the time who become friends, who become family. Maybe I won't be there at their funeral or wake them up in the morning. But those few minutes a day with them are as loving as a few minutes I spend with my family.
We all come from Adam, and in Christ, we are all one, one Spirit. You can not get to be more family then that.
Letting them know that you can only financially support your own wife and family can relieve their anger. You would ask Jesus to be accepted in their lives and that your fathering loving spirit will always be with them everywhere they go, even with newly adopted parents.
I have enough love and light to go around. If that is what you mean by money, spiritual money. I would love to support them in that way, but they do not let me.
My family is wonderful even in the most difficult of times. These other people I suppose consider career and legal constraints over friends. I just can not alter my way to fit their way. I would be giving up love for what? It is not worth it.
They are good Christians.
__________________ What they meant for evil, God meant for good.
I have enough love and light to go around. If that is what you mean by money, spiritual money. I would love to support them in that way, but they do not let me.
My family is wonderful even in the most difficult of times. These other people I suppose consider career and legal constraints over friends. I just can not alter my way to fit their way. I would be giving up love for what? It is not worth it.
They are good Christians.
Wow, "ToughAsCoffinNails", sounds like you have your head nailed in right.
Now, nail that last nail into the coffin and move on. Maybe they will come around one of these days.
Who knows? Maybe you will meet them again forty years from now.
It is great to find your connections, but remember that they were absent during years you might have needed them.
The commandment about parents says to "weigh heavily." That does not mean to do everything they say, to share all your belongings, to move in with them. You need to take that relationship seriously. You do not need to fix everything connected with them.
Make sure also that they really are your relatives, and not good scammers. Sorry to suggest that as a possibility, but people are getting very creative these days with so much of our private information online.
Linear Mode
