Is it moral to pursue a romantic relationship with someone else who is...
(1) In a generally non-serious relationship, has only been together a while.
(2) In a fairly serious relationship though no promises exchanged.
(3) A serious relationship lasting more than a year.
(4) Someone engaged.
(5) Someone married.
Well, the answer to this question pretty much changes with each individual case, I'd say. (And of course, the reactions of the people around you pretty much depend on the social norms they are acquainted with. In a society where a couple may only pursue a relationship after getting married, for example, things would be perceived vastly different.)
As a rule of thumb, I'd say: "Do unto others". That covers pretty much every possible scenario, and can mean different things in different contexts. Personally, I've always steered clear of anyone who seemed to be in a happy monogamous relationship, not wanting to sow emotional confusion and unhappiness.
I agree, though, that a monogamous relationship where one partner seeks a new romantic partner is probably in the early stages of the break-up phase, anyway.
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Fundamentalism in a Nutshell:
"[Obama] focused on health care for everybody and living wages, mostly. No comment about abortion or sodomite "marriage" or anything else that actually matters." --MatthewEV, Rapture Ready
Yes, if you think that assisted suicide is murder (immoral or illegal killing), then I see how you conclude that assisted suicide is murder.
No, wait, that´s not even a conclusion. It´s restating the premise.
Correct, it's not really worth arguing about that here. I think I got an answer that was... disappointing but not unforeseen.
Well, the answer to this question pretty much changes with each individual case, I'd say. (And of course, the reactions of the people around you pretty much depend on the social norms they are acquainted with. In a society where a couple may only pursue a relationship after getting married, for example, things would be perceived vastly different.)
As a rule of thumb, I'd say: "Do unto others". That covers pretty much every possible scenario, and can mean different things in different contexts. Personally, I've always steered clear of anyone who seemed to be in a happy monogamous relationship, not wanting to sow emotional confusion and unhappiness.
I agree.
I honestly would not be that upset if someone I did not know in a generally polite and tactful way hit on my girlfriend a little, but then backed off if she said she was uninterested. I consider this human nature.
By no means am I going to force any issue but rather welcome what has already been started.
I dated a girl for a few weeks who was in the process of ending with her boyfriend but had difficulties due to the fact that she lived with him. I later left her because I felt it was immoral that we had been essentially boyfriend/girlfriend for excess of a month while she was still dragging this guy along and not making any progress in moving out or breaking up with him.
Originally Posted by PreachersWife2004
I would ask that person to detangle themselves from their current relationship then.
Which I will do.
I once went after a guy who was dating someone who didn't like me very much. I pursued him very nonchalantly, dropping hints here or there. His girlfriend was telling her friends and family that she thought she'd be getting a ring soon. So imagine her surprise she found out he was dating me at the same time (I thought they had broken up). She confronted me at work, of all places, and had to be removed by the cops.
She's married to that guy now.
Quite a story!
Methinks he should write a relationship book. He'd make millions!
I'd buy it for the laughs!
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“The egalitarian mania of demagogues is even more dangerous than the brutality of men in gallooned coats... Anyone who has been oppressed can get back on his feet if the oppression did not cost him his life. A man who has been equalized is physically and morally ruined." - Ernst Jünger (March 29, 1895 – February 17, 1998)
If you cross the relationship line to get someone you become a @#%$#^(gender adjustable), that's all there is too it...
It is in no way ethical...
I agree.
Furthermore, why would you want to be with someone who is willing to ditch their partner for who ever is the next guy/gal who comes along? To me that is a serious character defect, and I would not want to be with someone like that.
If someone is in an exclusive relationship, no matter how short or how serious, they're off limits for as long as the two people are in agreement that the relationship is exclusive. If one of them decides to make it not exclusive without telling the other, it's wrong and I'd advise anyone to not get themselves involved. There are plenty of single people to pursue.
Also, I get really angry when a guy is pursuing me and I tell him multiple times that I'm in a long term relationship and will likely be married by next year and all I get is "Aw, you don't need him." I've seriously had somebody say this to me. This tells me two things: One, the guy has no respect for other people if he'll try and take a person's loved one away from him. Two, it tells me that the guy looks at me and sees someone who's willing to cheat, which I find hugely insulting because I am faithful. Don't insult my honor, jerk.
I'll be really glad in a year or two when I have a wedding ring on my finger and I can just point to it and say "I'm a married woman, don't talk to me like that." I think some of these guys might take that a bit more seriously than "I have a boyfriend. No, really. It's been 3 years. I'm not leaving him."
tl;dr version: Don't pursue non-singles and certainly don't be an annoying persistent jerkface about it when she tells you to buzz off.
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I see it as more immoral no matter the relationship. People can be very dedicated to each other just dating. Maybe they're not ready to get engaged at that point but their level of commitment is as strong as an engaged couples.
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PM Me With Any Prayer Requests!
"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever." - Psalm 30:10-12
I'd say the key point is what you are requesting of the other person.
If starting a relationship with you would require her to lie to her partner or sneak around behind his back, then no, it's not good for you to request that another person do that.
If the relationship she's in is open enough that she could be with you openly, then you're in the clear.
If you'd be forcing her into a "choose between me or him," situation--then no.
I'd say there's no harm, though, in expressing to anybody, in any type of relationship, "I like you, and if circumstances ever allow for it, I'd be interested in dating you." You'd have to follow that up though, with...absolutely nothing. Don't pursue, don't repeat the expression, don't try to seduce. If she responds to that with, "I think you're a better choice than my current mate, so I want to be with you," she has every right to do that.
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My only vote is that it's fine to pursue a relationship with someone who is in a "Generally non-serious relationship"
As soon as a relationship is serious, that's it as far as I'm concerned. People who chase after people in a serious relationship have no respect for the individuals involved. If they want to chase other people, they should first deal with their current supposedly-serious relationship first, and then move on.
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