I did not vote as I see it is just plain not ok to take someone away from someone else. Loving your neighbor does not involve getting involved with their partner.
__________________ It is customary to blame secular science and anti-religious philosophy for the eclipse of religion in modern society. It would be more honest to blame religion for its own defeats. Religion declined not because it was refuted, but because it became irrelevant, oppressive, insipid. When faith is replaced by creed, worship by discipline, love by habit; when religion speaks only in the name of authority rather than with the voice of compassion -- its message becomes meaningless. - Abraham Heschel
I don't think it's immoral in most all cases besides if they are married and maybe even engaged, but even then, how many people get engaged now-a-days only to call it off before getting married?
If someone wants to leave the relationship their in, however serious it is, they were probably hoping (maybe subconciously even) for an opportunity to escape. I've met plenty of people in good and committed relationships that occured because someone pursued someone while they were previously committed.
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09.15.2007
You always marry the wrong person… love does not create marriage;
rather marriage provides a good training ground to teach us what love involves.
I'd have to ask why. Let's say you do pursue someone in a committed relationship and she (or he) leaves her partner for you. What's to stop her from doing the same to you?
I had a guy pursuing me after I got engaged to my now husband. I kept telling him I was engaged and he kept telling me that it wasn't "official" until I put the ring on and that he could "steal" me away any time he wanted. Frankly, it was annoying and I almost reported the guy for stalking me.
If someone is in a relationship, don't be the one to break it up. If she's not meant to be with that guy, sooner or later she won't be. THEN you're free and clear.
I would never pursue someone if it is was made clear that it was unwanted.
That is certainly, in all circumstances, not good.
If the other person demonstrates interest, though, is it moral to pursue?
Originally Posted by david_x
If you cross the relationship line to get someone you become a @#%$#^(gender adjustable), that's all there is too it...
It is in no way ethical...
But what if it is seemingly welcomed?
Originally Posted by BobW188
I tend to agree with David and Preacher'sWife; but in Cases## 1&2, unless the person has made it clear she's not interested, I'd say it's unwise rather than immoral.
Why unwise?
Originally Posted by underpressure
I'm a bit of a hit with the opposite sex, so if you are going to pursue this regardless of what others say, maybe I can offer some advice as I know how daunting these things can be.
You mentioned earlier you only just met her, so presumably you don't know her very well. Next time you see her, whether it's in a coffee shop, library or whatever, do not approach her or try to talk to her at first, just observe from distance for a little while.
Wait for her to leave, keep your distance still but follow her, so you can continue to observe anything that may come in handy for conversation later, use lamp posts as a decoy, if she does turn round, look the other way and towards the sky as though you are just looking at a plane or a bird...
Now you know where she lives, gives you carte blanche to go round whenever you want, just to find out more about her from the comfort of your car, any male visitors, whats on the washing line, maybe take a garment etc. Eventually knock on the door and say 'remember me? I think you left this pen in the coffee shop/library the other week and I wanted to return it', put a foot behind the door to suggest you want a coffee as a reward... once in use your new in depth knowledge about her life to impress her. Can not fail!
I smiled. That was good.
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“The egalitarian mania of demagogues is even more dangerous than the brutality of men in gallooned coats... Anyone who has been oppressed can get back on his feet if the oppression did not cost him his life. A man who has been equalized is physically and morally ruined." - Ernst Jünger (March 29, 1895 – February 17, 1998)
I would never pursue someone if it is was made clear that it was unwanted.
That is certainly, in all circumstances, not good.
If the other person demonstrates interest, though, is it moral to pursue?
But what if it is seemingly welcomed?
I would ask that person to detangle themselves from their current relationship then.
Why unwise?
I once went after a guy who was dating someone who didn't like me very much. I pursued him very nonchalantly, dropping hints here or there. His girlfriend was telling her friends and family that she thought she'd be getting a ring soon. So imagine her surprise she found out he was dating me at the same time (I thought they had broken up). She confronted me at work, of all places, and had to be removed by the cops.
She's married to that guy now.
I smiled. That was good.
Methinks he should write a relationship book. He'd make millions!
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I guess it's different for everyone but personally I'd say none of the above. Even with option number one I'd feel very uncomfortable with the element of deceit. I'd say you can be friends with the person and be honest to yourself about that attraction but acting on it in a romantic way isn't appropriate.
That people are engaged or married doesn't really mean much more to me than someone who's committed to a long term. Marriage is only symbolic.
That said, I happen to be someone who's also virtually incapable of pursuing women who are single.
__________________ From childhoods hour I have not been
as others were. I have not seen
as others saw. I could not bring
my passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
my sorrow. I could not awaken
my heart to joy at the same tone.
All I loved, I loved alone. Edgar Allen Poe
If someone wants you to help them commit suicide, and you like doing that, is it not still murder?
Yes, it isn´t. It´s assisted suicide.
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Why I call myself a „non-believer“ or „atheist“:
I can´t relate to any of the god concepts I´m familiar with so far.
Either I´m not convinced by the concept, or
– although not having a problem with the worldview itself -
I see no reason to call one of its elements „God“:
There are already more precise, more common, less loaded and less likely to be misunderstood terms for these elements.
E.g. I prefer to call nature „nature“, the universe „universe“ and everything „everything“.
I did not vote as I see it is just plain not ok to take someone away from someone else.
After reading this is realized what it was that I found strange about this thread because you worded it so clearly:
I don´t think the "take someone away" is accurate. We are not talking about inanimate matter, or about a person who is forced out of their current relationship against her will.
There´s a person who wants to go away (or doesn´t want to go away - in which case, of course, I will not force her to go away).
Loving your neighbor does not involve getting involved with their partner.
I think it´s the decision of the person who stands between to potential partners.
__________________
Why I call myself a „non-believer“ or „atheist“:
I can´t relate to any of the god concepts I´m familiar with so far.
Either I´m not convinced by the concept, or
– although not having a problem with the worldview itself -
I see no reason to call one of its elements „God“:
There are already more precise, more common, less loaded and less likely to be misunderstood terms for these elements.
E.g. I prefer to call nature „nature“, the universe „universe“ and everything „everything“.
Yes, if you think that assisted suicide is murder (immoral or illegal killing), then I see how you conclude that assisted suicide is murder.
No, wait, that´s not even a conclusion. It´s restating the premise.
__________________
Why I call myself a „non-believer“ or „atheist“:
I can´t relate to any of the god concepts I´m familiar with so far.
Either I´m not convinced by the concept, or
– although not having a problem with the worldview itself -
I see no reason to call one of its elements „God“:
There are already more precise, more common, less loaded and less likely to be misunderstood terms for these elements.
E.g. I prefer to call nature „nature“, the universe „universe“ and everything „everything“.
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