Your temperament and your church life.

Ishida · #1 5th November 2009, 06:16 AM

Church is an integral part of our lives as Christians, as it's a way to serve others and be served. I know not everyone does it, but for those of us who do.. have you encountered any problems because of your personality?

I'm quite introverted and I never cared for sports, so I've always been a little on the edge, as I was fairly quiet and other people didn't have that easy way to relate. I "wasn't like the other boys". So it sort of lead to me thinking of myself as a "darkness", or not being capable for ministry. This sort of ties in with the gifts thread actually, but it's more personal to our church life.. I've been reading some articles about being introverted and about ministry life.. I've overcome some hurdles, but still the church and culture seems pretty biased towards extroverts. Typically the loudest will become leaders, and there are stigmas about.

Feel free to tell your story or discuss trends you've observed.

JonMiller · #2 5th November 2009, 06:31 AM

I am not, and have never been, very involved in church. This despite the fact that I very much believe and in most of my life have thought that church is important.

But with the crowds at church, I get shy and stay to myself. On the rare occasions when for some reason I am with a some group of people from church (2-5), I get to be myself (talkative/etc).

It is an issue, I will try to think about it at the next church I go to. I have given up on my current one.

JM

BeyondAshes · #3 5th November 2009, 10:05 AM

Originally Posted by Ishida

Church (snip).. have you encountered any problems because of your personality?

Only when attending the wrong church. So.. for most of my life, yes.

I'm not much of a church goer. I've gone off and on over the course of my life, I don't think it's integral to be honest. I haven't had a church I could call my own in awhile, until the last few months when I found a little Anglican church in the middle of no where that was preaching progressive values.

Then I fell in love with church.

I'm not only an introvert, I have Agoraphobia and General Anxiety Disorder. I was quick to inform the Priest, and he was quick to be very, very supportive in ways that were actually useful and helpful, not in the ways of past preachers and pastors who basically tried to pray the anxiety out of me. *eye roll*

Since joining this church, my priest and I have long, long conversations (via email) on a regular basis about theology, and I just love it. I've never had anyone to look up to before but if I would name someone now, it would be him, hands down.

He's been integral in trying to show me how absolutely useful I am, even though I've come to see myself as absolutely useless over the years thanks to society in general. He's come so far as to tell me he feels people like me are the future of the church as a whole, and I was really humbled and awed by that.

Suddenly, my introverted and anxious nature doesn't seem as insurmountable and useless as it once did, when I think that someone considers me of some kind of importance to the future of anything big. Some days I think I can be a lot more than my anxiety allows, just because of my priest.

It just goes to show that in the wrong environment, a person can die spiritually/emotionally/mentally ... which I did for years. But in the right environment? Any person can flourish. People used to tell me it was me who was the problem, and that's why I never felt good in a church. But they were wrong. It wasn't me that was the problem, it was just that I was in the wrong fit for me.

I think that's an important lesson I will never forget.

Gym · #4 5th November 2009, 10:23 AM

I don't want to derail the thread too much.. but bravo to your priest. It is true Christian leaders like himself that we need more of in life.
-and he's right- you are useful!
I don't know you, but you're useful because God made you and he has a plan for you. If I knew nothing more that would be enough to know you're useful

radhead · #5 5th November 2009, 12:11 PM

What does personality have to do with sports? Zero. I'm an INFP and I'm not into sports. But so is Michael Jordan. Many of the greatest athletes are introverts, I promise you.

I think focusing too much on personality traits is sort of prohibiting to our growth. I think they are more associated with the "negative" aspects of ourselves. What's more important is the way that we are like others, not unlike.

My introversion has affected me negatively. But it's really no excuse. It just means that I have to try harder in certain areas.

Everyone has things they have to overcome. We must overcome these issues. I've seen introverted pastors start their own churches, and new churches off of those.

Thunder Peel · #6 5th November 2009, 12:18 PM

Originally Posted by Ishida

Church is an integral part of our lives as Christians, as it's a way to serve others and be served. I know not everyone does it, but for those of us who do.. have you encountered any problems because of your personality?

I'm quite introverted and I never cared for sports, so I've always been a little on the edge, as I was fairly quiet and other people didn't have that easy way to relate. I "wasn't like the other boys". So it sort of lead to me thinking of myself as a "darkness", or not being capable for ministry. This sort of ties in with the gifts thread actually, but it's more personal to our church life.. I've been reading some articles about being introverted and about ministry life.. I've overcome some hurdles, but still the church and culture seems pretty biased towards extroverts. Typically the loudest will become leaders, and there are stigmas about.

Feel free to tell your story or discuss trends you've observed.

You sound a lot like me. I've always been quiet and kind of a loner so making friends at church has always been difficult and I often feel out of place at any church I go to, which is probably the reason I don't go that much anymore. I know I should but after trying five churches in the last two years I've concluded that I just don't belong.

GQ Chris · #7 5th November 2009, 01:39 PM

I am naturally reserved, and really only open up to people once I get to know them.

I have to know a person and how and what makes them tick before I can start opening up myself to them, unfortunately there are a lot of people out there who I don't want to bother with, because of their personality or lack of good judgement and perception.

Ishida · #8 5th November 2009, 04:58 PM

Originally Posted by radhead

What does personality have to do with sports? Zero. I'm an INFP and I'm not into sports. But so is Michael Jordan. Many of the greatest athletes are introverts, I promise you.

I think focusing too much on personality traits is sort of prohibiting to our growth. I think they are more associated with the "negative" aspects of ourselves. What's more important is the way that we are like others, not unlike.

My introversion has affected me negatively. But it's really no excuse. It just means that I have to try harder in certain areas.

Everyone has things they have to overcome. We must overcome these issues. I've seen introverted pastors start their own churches, and new churches off of those.

Our likes and dislikes are part of our personality. What do you think it means? I don't focus too much about it, but knowing ourselves helps us develop our gifts as well as how to deal with other people better. I mentioned it because it's a big thing when trying to talk to other people, and most assume you're into them. I am not so it was a little harder to crack my shell. Shyness should probably be overcome, but introversion/being reserved isn't something that needs to be. It's not making excuses, you've just bought into bad philosophy.

Originally Posted by Thunder Peel

You sound a lot like me. I've always been quiet and kind of a loner so making friends at church has always been difficult and I often feel out of place at any church I go to, which is probably the reason I don't go that much anymore. I know I should but after trying five churches in the last two years I've concluded that I just don't belong.

Yeah. I'm kinda loyal though, so I stuck around and attended the youth group, so eventually I made friends and became a leader. They like me doing the meetings because I'm terse. xD Even as an introvert I think we have duties to a church.. it's not there for our self-entertainment. (But I won't deny anyone their struggles)

radhead · #9 5th November 2009, 05:11 PM

Yes, there are roles that I see being filled by people with certain traits. For example, a class leader or director would usually be more extroverted. They need to be more focused on many people and all of their many different needs.

The church needs people and their skills. People develop their skills out in the real world. Then they bring them into the church. But we can also develop skills inside church.

Ishida · #10 5th November 2009, 05:16 PM

At college they say over 90% of professors are introverted.