A group in need of some kind of kick start - Sorry this is Long!

My college/university career fellowship at my church has reached a plateau in our spirituality such that we are told by newcomers and people in the church but outside the group that we lack spiritual growth. Some of us in the group feel the same way too, and I've had long discussions with a few people in the group regarding the issue. This isn't the only place I am seeking advice from (i.e. I am getting local support, and also the issue is being addressed to our pastor), but I thought why not come here and post? I am new to this forum and perhaps I could get a new perspective on things.

Our group has come a long way from 2 years ago. Back then, we were disorganized and going to fellowship felt like such a burden. We meet weekly, and because we made the effort to come, we're now a thriving group of nearly 24 people, and attendance is great. We all get along quite well, and some people who were originally shy with the group are now quite talkative.

One of our strengths is that we each participate in planning what the group does, and contributes ideas. We don't have a sole leader or a "core group" so to speak.

However, this very same "strength" is also one of our biggest weaknesses, I feel. Since everybody has a share of doing stuff/planning stuff, the responsibility of the group's spiritual well being is diluted out. Nobody feels solely responsible for the group, and therefore doesn't do anything about it. It ought to be that each person inputs, but it isn't that way for some people. If they do care, I don't know because their actions don't show it. I know we are all full time students with busy lives, but if you really care about something, it doesn't matter how busy you are -- you still make time for it!

If we were to implement a core group, how would we go about choosing its members? I feel like right now it would be difficult to implement such a thing. Had we started a core group back when we were starting off, it would have worked but now it could get messy. Plus, with a core group, it would just give certain people more of a reason to be lazy.

I think a large part of this problem is that we are too big. We have lots of fun when hanging out but beyond that on a deeper level it is difficult to connect. We recently had a Bible study, and although I understand people can be shy or not know what to say when a particular question comes up, I think the size of the group causes us to be scared to even try answering. I think we're afraid (myself included) to take a shot at answering a question because we feel as if we need to keep up a certain image of ourselves in the group or something... but if we were truly comfortable with one another, we'd be able to say what we think without worrying about being wrong or whatever...

When we ask, "can someone close us off in prayer?", there is dead silence in the room and it's just so hard to even motivate people to just simply pray out loud, never mind to try and lead a Bible study. Praying doesn't need to be something extravagant. There are a lot of simple yet powerful prayers! These are the basics of a small group, yet we struggle with it. A lot of these people I've grown up with in the church and have been Christians for years, yet I've seen new Christians come and go from our group because they may perceive us "old timers" as being too spiritually immature... while they are growing so fast. :S

A handful of people take on more responsibility than the others, while at the same time it seems the same people just sit on the sidelines. How do you expect to grow if you don't put yourself out there? A faith that is not growing isn't worth much.

In some of my reading I have often heard for small groups, 12 is the magic number for the ideal sized group. Anything past that, then sharing is quite difficult, and additional numbers can be a hindrance. Jesus did pick it for a reason. Like I said out group consistently gets out 20 people each week, and we have games, organize events for the church, serve the community, and a lot of us teach Sunday School for the kids at our church. Yet it is the Bible studies and sharing nights that kill me. Should these not be at the core of the group??

So there has been talk about perhaps splitting the group. I am totally for this idea, but I have been met with criticism (constructive, of course). I've been told that if we were to split into two groups we'd be like, "wandering sheep, not knowing where to go". However, I still think it helps when it comes to the deep sharing!! In our Bible study when we were in the large group, I felt so intimidated to share, due to the number of people. Then we split off into smaller groups of 4-5 and I felt I could let my heart go! And the groups were random, so I feel comfortable with each person, just when it comes to sharing in a large large group, it's hard.

With splitting... how the heck do you do that? How do you do so in a loving manner that doesn't offend anyone? Should I even be worried about "offending" people? Obviously, something has to change, and sometimes when you grow, you experience growing pains. Perhaps doing this will cause some uneasiness before we actually start growing more. This is cause we are quite comfortable right now... but should we be? Should we not be continually thirsting and seeking after righteousness, not just individually, but also corporately as a group?!

If we were to split, we would have to take into account many factors including age/years in university, sex, interests, geography of where we live, etc. We want to be able to mentor the younger ones so that they can effectively lead the group when the older folks graduate. I'm sorta in the middle of the group, with about 2/3 older than me, and 1/3 younger than me. I feel as if this issue should be addressed by some of the older people (some of which I really look up to) in the group, but have come to realize that it is unfair to expect it from them, simply because they are older. There are fears involved for me too, fear of being perceived as someone who wants to "take over the group" or fears of having my seniors not listen to me (I know it is hard to take advice from those younger than you, but God tells us not to let anyone look down on us because you are young!).

So... sorry that was so long, but I think it helped just me typing it out -- to get my thoughts together about this and to let you know the full story. I hope someone will have similar experiences or some kind of advice to give! It has just gotten to a point where we are so challenged vertically that it is beginning to affect how we interact with other people here horizontally on Earth. I really love the members of this group with all of my heart and I just want to seem them live their lives with a passionate spirituality burning for Christ within them!!

Thanks so much for reading all of this if you got to the end!! Haha!

Well, it's great of course that you have such concern about your group and it's obvious that you need to do something about it especially now that you're not the only one who thinks so. Perhaps you could talk to the other ones you've heard saying stuff like that, then make up some options that could in your opinions could work and then discuss all that with the whole group, and maybe vote for the best option or something. You could get someone outside of your group to moderate the discussion so there wouldn't be unnecessary fighting or such.

I don't really know what you could actually do about it. Splitting the group in two was the first thing that popped into my mind, but you probably know better if it would work for your group I guess. It could perhaps feel a little less weird if you temporarily split the group in situations where it's nicer - like when you're having Bible studies and such. And perhaps you could "train" praying out loud in small groups and then when people start being more comfortable with it, do it as a whole group. I honestly think that the core group would be a good idea, just for making the group more organised and for bringing it to the point. They won't need to have so much power, just organising things and taking some responsibilities, like you said. You could just ask everyone if they wanted to be a part of the group and if they were ready to invest time in it. If everyone were, then you'd have a problem with choosing obviously, but somehow I doubt it.

So that was my two pence on this topic. I hope I could be of some help. God bless!

__________________
Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you. - Isaiah 46:4

Sitting together in a group, each person should have a laptop to take notes and read each other's comment on a forum group website using wireless internet. Group A can look at comments made by Group B, and reply whatever comes to mind. Our consciousness wants to say more words more perfectly through writing than through words in speech. Computer interaction releases the mental blockage that causes shyness with speech interaction only.

__________________
I learn to accept Jesus Christ and our God the Father by default.

Vote on officers to be elected for a defined term, say 6 months or so. Make sure those nominated are the ones doing most of the work already. Elect them in and see how it goes. The key is getting responsible people in those positions who have a vision for where you all want the group to go.

__________________
To know all is to forgive all.

Thank you so much for your responses! I will definitely think about them and take them into consideration!

LEADERSHIP
I have a feeling you would love to be the one in charge, but are being cautious that it doesn't come across as a takeover. God often puts the passion into the heart of the person who is supposed to be doing the initiating and work. (Or the person carries a natural passion, of course.)

Not everyone wants to lead. Not everyone wants to be as involved as you do.

Think of one task that needs oversight, and ask people if they would like you to take that on. For instance, calling meetings, spreading information, or getting the meeting started. Most people would love to have someone else take responsibility.

Be careful of assuming that each person should have equal work. It's a volunteer activity. Passivity in a group is not always a sign of spiritual deadness. Some people will be busy in multiple clubs, some will be marginal ones that would disappear if pressured. Some are having a harder time with studies than others. Parental pressure. Whatever.

It doesn't have to be fairly doled out, when God calls people to minister.

There are things I join just to get some air and a clear head. If demands were put on me, I would drop out, to allow more time for the things where I do get more involved.

Spiritual growth comes from the inside. We can't fix each others' lack of devotion. We can just support and encourage.


SPLIT
To avoid the awkward divisions, you could meet each week and split into two rooms, with different combinations of people. That way nobody feels stuck. Ignore gender and year level.. .keep divisions only according to voluntary topics studied, times people are available, and locations.