I was always taught that the only reason for daiting is to find that one person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, not to get hooked up with everyone you can, or just because you don't want to be lonely..
I still hold to that belief and I won't date anyone that I'm not willing to marry. You can see what a person is like without having the pressures of daiting...unless God tells me "He is the one," I am willing to wait a few years before even considering daiting someone...even though its hard.
The only thing I've ever done with a boy is hold hands...I'm still waiting for the right one before I go any further..but thats just me. I'm almost out of highschool, I am a junior and I'm thinking of just waiting till College before even thinking about guys...plus I really need to find out who I'm going to be and make sure I'm stable and mature enough for a healthy relationship (I don't want to make any mistakes)...
..or just not get married at all (which isn't such a bad thing) but, its all in God's Hands, we shall see
Of course I don't know if any of you have heard of the Duggers (they are this Christian family with like 19 children and their tv show comes on TLC I think) and their eldest son (I believe) who just got married didn't even date his wife. He prayed about it, asked God (she did too) and then they got engaged, and had their first kiss on their wedding day. Now they are happily married with a child on the way...
I've gotta be honest with you. That [what the Duggers boy did] is quite possibly the stupidest way to enter a marriage that I've ever heard about.
You need to get to know the person first. He might luck out, but that's a really risky way to go if you're going to base an entire marriage and raising children on nothing but a casual glance.
That being said, moving on to your actual post.
Look, I get that you're looking into the future and thinking about marriage, fine. But there's nothing wrong with dating just because. Dating, with or without the intent of marriage is practice for the serious relationships. You date some people; you get to know the opposite sex a little better. There are things revealed that you seriously can't know without being in a relationship with someone. The first time around it's hard, the second time around it's easier to handle. You jump into a marriage level relationship without any experience, and I think it's likely you'll have some problems.
Not just that, dating is fun! You don't have to go any farther than you want to physically, but emotionally, it's so nice just to have someone you know cares, someone other than family who you can confide in, who you can snuggle up to and be warm with. Sure you run the risk of heartbreak... so what. I hear so often that people are afraid of getting hurt, well love hurts, suck it up (not you specifically, I'm just ranting). Anyway, keeping arms length from anyone who has the potential for a relationship with you just because you're waiting for the one or because you're scared of getting hurt, is just a waste of potential happy times. There is something about having another person there for you that just makes you feel whole. They don't have to be there forever, but in the meantime, it's nice to have someone nearby.
On that note, don't force yourself to date anyone either, that could just be ugly.
Sorry for the rant, I just think there is absolutely no reason to avoid relationships while waiting for "the one", for all you know you could be avoiding an relationship with him while waiting for him! Some people find the person that they're going to marry straight out of high school, sometimes it takes longer, but you'll never know unless you LOOK!
(BTW, it's spelled "dating")
__________________ "When work seems overwhelming, remember that you are going to die" Strangely enough this motivates me.
my general rule is that I won't date until I know how to spell the word 'dating'
=P
__________________ But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:21-23
I've gotta be honest with you. That [what the Duggers boy did] is quite possibly the stupidest way to enter a marriage that I've ever heard about.
You need to get to know the person first. He might luck out, but that's a really risky way to go if you're going to base an entire marriage and raising children on nothing but a casual glance.
That being said, moving on to your actual post.
Look, I get that you're looking into the future and thinking about marriage, fine. But there's nothing wrong with dating just because. Dating, with or without the intent of marriage is practice for the serious relationships. You date some people; you get to know the opposite sex a little better. There are things revealed that you seriously can't know without being in a relationship with someone. The first time around it's hard, the second time around it's easier to handle. You jump into a marriage level relationship without any experience, and I think it's likely you'll have some problems.
Not just that, dating is fun! You don't have to go any farther than you want to physically, but emotionally, it's so nice just to have someone you know cares, someone other than family who you can confide in, who you can snuggle up to and be warm with. Sure you run the risk of heartbreak... so what. I hear so often that people are afraid of getting hurt, well love hurts, suck it up (not you specifically, I'm just ranting). Anyway, keeping arms length from anyone who has the potential for a relationship with you just because you're waiting for the one or because you're scared of getting hurt, is just a waste of potential happy times. There is something about having another person there for you that just makes you feel whole. They don't have to be there forever, but in the meantime, it's nice to have someone nearby.
On that note, don't force yourself to date anyone either, that could just be ugly.
Sorry for the rant, I just think there is absolutely no reason to avoid relationships while waiting for "the one", for all you know you could be avoiding an relationship with him while waiting for him! Some people find the person that they're going to marry straight out of high school, sometimes it takes longer, but you'll never know unless you LOOK!
(BTW, it's spelled "dating")
I guess I just don't agree with you. It's not that I'm NOT going to date (haha it would help to spell it right huh? haha) at all period, but I am not going to go off and date every guy I see that looks like he'd be a good person to date. I think that if God puts two people together (no matter how well they know each other) I think that its for the best, and I am willing to wait until that time comes...even if it means no dating for now, or ever. I have dated before, and my last ex turned out to be gay...yep. Thats the last time I go off and try to date someone that I don't ask God about first...
Genesis 24:63-67
And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and behold, the camels were coming.
And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.
For she had said unto the servant, what man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a veil, and covered herself.
And the servant told Isaac all the things he had done.
And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.
Ok from what I read there, it says Isaac didnt even see Rebekah before she became his wife! It did not say "Therefore Isaac dated for X amount of years then his Mum died and his Dad said to his servant 'He has dated for enough years now, he knows what girls are like. Go out and find him a wife.' ".
What you are saying does not add up to what the Bible says! It doesnt make any sense!
Genesis 24:63-67
And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and behold, the camels were coming.
And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.
For she had said unto the servant, what man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a veil, and covered herself.
And the servant told Isaac all the things he had done.
And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.
Ok from what I read there, it says Isaac didnt even see Rebekah before she became his wife! It did not say "Therefore Isaac dated for X amount of years then his Mum died and his Dad said to his servant 'He has dated for enough years now, he knows what girls are like. Go out and find him a wife.' ".
What you are saying does not add up to what the Bible says! It doesnt make any sense!
Mhm, but that's an arranged marriage, and they aren't too common anymore. It did work out, because obviously God wanted it too. But if you do that now you never know who you're marrying. I definitely agree that you need to know them first. If you don't, yeah, it could still all work out fine. But it's not the best idea.
__________________
Look at these hands
and my side
They swallowed the grave
on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
Dating and relationships don't just involve the heart and touchy feely stuff or divine intervention. You need to be smart about it too. The last relationship you were in did not fail because you didn't ask God, it failed because the guy is a teenager and is still coming to terms with who he is, including his sexual orientation. We should absolutely pray about our relationships, but we shouldn't be praying for a sign that he is "the one". Pray for wisdom, discernment and maturity. Thats what's going to help you in making the decision.
__________________
“True individualists are always at odds with the universe. Set adrift by their peculiar tastes and interests, they spend their lives searching for kindred spirits and a compatible mate. They are hopelessly out of step with the business world and its trivial urgencies. Their priorities are not the priorities of their neighbors. They are unique; therefore they are alone.” – Rick Bayan, Down With Nat
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I've made a lot of mistakes when it comes to dating. So i understand why you want to be so cautious but don't allow yourself to be overly cautious. Yes, it was a mistake not to talk to God about your previous relationship but that does not mean that every relationship will turn out like that. Its is super important that you know the person that you are going to marry. I mean... you're going to spend the rest of your life with him! You should know that you're compatible with them. I agree that you shouldn't go out and casually date. I believe that no one should date unless they could see themselves marrying the person. Its also important that you know your boundries and you maintain them. You seem to have done really well with that. Right now our our age, we are young. What we like today could change tomorrow. We're learning and growing still. Dating isn't that important right now. We have our whole life time to find someone to marry. Don't stress yourself over this, God already has the guy choosen for you out there. Just pray that you are at the right level maturity wise and spirtitually.
__________________
"He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my
fortress, I will never be shaken." - Psalm 62:2
When life brings you to your knees remember you're in the
perfect position to pray!
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down
Daiting 
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