Court tomorrow. tired of being screwed

fields316_2000 · #1 3rd November 2009, 06:59 PM

Im supposed to go to a review hearing for my kids.

I was put on a restraining order against my soon to be ex because i found out she was cheating and i pulled an unloaded gun. the lawyers pulled a deal instead of gonig to court that we both would go to anger management, which i did. i completed one of the classes and half of another. the class instructor wrote a note saying that im good and i need more time with my kids.
right now im at 3%.
what am i going to accomplish tomorrow at court? what are they reviewing and are they going to increase the time with me and my kids as im hoping?

ephraimanesti · #2 3rd November 2009, 08:53 PM

Originally Posted by fields316_2000

Im supposed to go to a review hearing for my kids. I was put on a restraining order against my soon to be ex because i found out she was cheating and i pulled an unloaded gun. the lawyers pulled a deal instead of gonig to court that we both would go to anger management, which i did. i completed one of the classes and half of another. the class instructor wrote a note saying that im good and i need more time with my kids.
right now im at 3%. what am i going to accomplish tomorrow at court? what are they reviewing and are they going to increase the time with me and my kids as im hoping?

MY DEAR BROTHER,

When you get tired of the drama--this has been going on for years!--why not turn it ALL over ONCE-AND-FOR-ALL to your Lord, take a break, and let Him handle it in whatever way He sees fit.

MUCH LOVE IN OUR LORD/GOD/SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST,
ephraim

freeport · #3 3rd November 2009, 09:53 PM

Originally Posted by fields316_2000

Im supposed to go to a review hearing for my kids.

I was put on a restraining order against my soon to be ex because i found out she was cheating and i pulled an unloaded gun. the lawyers pulled a deal instead of gonig to court that we both would go to anger management, which i did. i completed one of the classes and half of another. the class instructor wrote a note saying that im good and i need more time with my kids.
right now im at 3%.
what am i going to accomplish tomorrow at court? what are they reviewing and are they going to increase the time with me and my kids as im hoping?

You have to deal with whatever happens. Pulling a gun - loaded or unloaded - on your ex is a very serious matter.

People don't know if a gun is unloaded so the threat of it is as real as if it were not... which speaks of the very real potential of pulling a fully loaded gun on someone.

Hopefully, they do increase the time, but God ultimately pulls the strings on criminal activities and punishment. People don't tend to think that way, even though it is really obvious if you study a lot of cases. Main thing is to get to a place where you do not feel compelled to take vengeance in your own hands... and understand the extraordinary wrong it was to do that to her, regardless of what she did.

holywisdom · #4 3rd November 2009, 10:13 PM

give this situation to god he is a god of rightenous and he will help you if you ask him and believe in him,theres nothing impossible to the lord,god bless you.

fields316_2000 · #5 3rd November 2009, 10:48 PM

my kids miss me so badly. she wants me to have them just as bad but is going through the process of the courts. if i cant get some kind of relief with more time with the kids im pretty much done for as i know it

Revived · #6 3rd November 2009, 10:50 PM

Hey bro,

I can empathize with you. I didn't have anything on my record like that but I was dealing with a ruthless ex that lied and a notoriously harsh judge who believed every word. My visitation at first was miserable. I was stunned beyond words because she's always known and acknowledged me as a great father. So basically I was stuck without any communication with her and without any legal recourse.

Absolutely devastated and broken, I met with a local pastor seeking understanding and guidance. He challenged me to dig deep and make a concerted effort to examine every aspect of my life to that point...every decision I had made that led to this dilemma with no regard to how the decisions were impacted (by my childhood, parenting, peer pressure, whatever). It's done and over with. Forget it.

The irony was that, when I put an end to this inner facade and allowed genuine honesty with myself, the simple fact was that I had become adept at somehow convincing myself, as well as everyone around me, that my decisions and actions were justified. "Hey, I've had a hard life." It was an absolute masquerade...all of it. I had walked through life with minimal responsibility and even less accountability. I felt genuine remorse as a result of bad decisions but at the end of each day, I was an absolute fraud that lied on a daily basis and drank my way through life and through a marriage. I had practically destroyed my life and damaged every relationship with those I love.

This pastor also challenged me to release my right to be justified. The need to be vindicated can be overwhelming at times and is certainly one of those “rubber meets the road” moments of our faith. We can try to take control and refuse to be denied our definition of justice, or we can let go and entrust ourselves to a Savior who “understands our weaknesses, for He faced all of the same testings we do, yet He did not sin” (Hebrews 4:15). No one likes to be misunderstood. No one likes to stand by and let it happen. Yet Jesus embraced His betrayal because He knew God is faithful (Hebrews 10:23).'

In retrospect, the most profound analogy/message he gave me was this: He suggested I view my life as a puzzle, scattered all over the floor. Each piece representing an aspect of my life. He then asked 'If you are fully prepared to give your life to Christ and truly sincere in your convictions, are you equally as prepared to grab only a handful and ask that only those be fixed?' He then stood, led a prayer and gave his blessings.

As I gathered myself and walked outside, I found the wherewithal and the strength to make just one decision at that point -- that my days on the fence with my faith were over. I chose Christ and even though I had many bouts in the beginning with disbelief, backsliding, the whole deal -- I persevered by breaking it down to this simple fact. I WILL NOT go back to that life. Period. I had to repeat this to myself numerous times along the way but when I reached the point in which I could say it and live it with absolute conviction, I began to see the small victories that had somehow gone unnoticed. I'm here to tell ya bro, repetition creates persuasion. This time of my life resonates with as much today as the moment it transpired. I've thought of all this many times since then and, as I've progressed in my walk with Christ, have developed a much deeper understanding of this truth and the promise that it holds if you truly believe. In retrospect, God knew exactly how to handle it. I was the greyhound and he dangled the treat just far enough ahead. I had sprinted out of the gate and by the time I looked back, I was amazed at how far I had come. The best part? I'm still on the track taking victory laps. The blessing? More time with the kids.

Prayin' for you,
Derrick

freeport · #7 3rd November 2009, 10:53 PM

Originally Posted by fields316_2000

my kids miss me so badly. she wants me to have them just as bad but is going through the process of the courts. if i cant get some kind of relief with more time with the kids im pretty much done for as i know it

You are never "done for"... it can be painful to have separation from the kids, but if you get into a "this is the end" mindset you might make dangerous decisions which could severely harm you... and your future chances of being with them as you should.

Even if things go poorly, there is still "another time".

Revived · #8 3rd November 2009, 11:17 PM

Originally Posted by fields316_2000

my kids miss me so badly. she wants me to have them just as bad but is going through the process of the courts. if i cant get some kind of relief with more time with the kids im pretty much done for as i know it

Please pray for this, please. Your children need strength...the very strength that is graciously offered through our Father. They also need courage...doing what needs to be done even when you are afraid. The opposite of fear is faith. If you have faith in almighty God, what can there possibly be to be afraid of? Give this to God and trust His will.

*Praying*

Autumnleaf · #9 5th November 2009, 09:57 AM

If she wants you to have them then have her bring them over. Keep in mind everything runs on God's time. Even the courts. Rest and trust in the Lord.

fields316_2000 · #10 6th November 2009, 02:10 AM

aut.leaf leave my thread. she's preventing me from seeing them, wont let them call me and obviously if we are going to court there is more to it than making a phone call. common sense should be used before you comment