| One Bread, One Body - Catholic A forum open to Christians to discuss various Catholic beliefs and issues. |
 | | 
3rd November 2009, 05:00 PM
| | Regular Member
29    
| | Join Date: 13th November 2004 Location: Michigan
Posts: 217
Blessings: 90,732
Reps: 12,369 (power: 20) | | | Just got Engaged, going to talk to the priest tomarrow. have a question
Ok were going to talk to the priest tomarrow, and were both really nervous, biggest problem is we live together, have you ever heard of a priest not marry a couple because they live together?
I really have a problem with lieing and i know a lof of my friends who have lied to the priest and said they wern't but im not going to do that, i will tell him the truth im just worried he will refuse to marry us. |
3rd November 2009, 05:08 PM
|  | CF Policy ManagerHave Fun
 | | Join Date: 3rd March 2006
Posts: 18,019
Blessings: 12,104,234 My Mood 
Reps: 668,042,797,429,940,736 (power: 668,042,797,429,964) | | Originally Posted by ironford  Ok were going to talk to the priest tomarrow, and were both really nervous, biggest problem is we live together, have you ever heard of a priest not marry a couple because they live together?
I really have a problem with lieing and i know a lof of my friends who have lied to the priest and said they wern't but im not going to do that, i will tell him the truth im just worried he will refuse to marry us.
Depends why you are living together and depends on the priest. They are given a bit of leeway. Almost everyone in my marriage class was living together. The priest could decide not to marry you but that would be on the outside edge of possible. I live in a college town and often people live together for economic reasons before any other one. They are not playing at pseudo-marriage...so often what I see is that people get an extra bit of time or an extra segment of class discussing the situation.
It is possible he will ask that you seek separate residence if financially possible until you are married.
Hopefully, the ideal situation for you in this, you get a priest who will explain why living together and marriage are different, assess your situation on it's own merits and just make sure you understand some things. But he will still marry you and take into account the financial constraints that may have caused the cohabitation.
Don't worry too much. Be honest.
__________________
If pregnancy presents a challenge, do we as a society rise to the challenge by dispensing with the child? And when a pregnancy comes at a difficult time, what is the worthier response? Do we surround mother and child with protection and love, or do we hold out to her the cold comfort of a trip to an abortionist? Where is our true character as a nation to be seen - let's ask ourselves this question: Where is our true character to be seen, in an adoptive home, or in an abortion clinic? Who are we? Who are we America? That question deserves an answer.
Bob Casey Sr.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
|
3rd November 2009, 05:13 PM
| | Regular Member
29
| | Join Date: 13th November 2004 Location: Michigan
Posts: 217
Blessings: 90,732
Reps: 12,369 (power: 20) | | Originally Posted by Davidnic Depends why you are living together and depends on the priest. They are given a bit of leeway. Almost everyone in my marriage class was living together. The priest could decide not to marry you but that would be on the outside edge of possible. I live in a college town and often people live together for economic reasons before any other one. They are not playing at pseudo-marriage...so often what I see is that people get an extra bit of time or an extra segment of class discussing the situation.
It is possible he will ask that you seek separate residence if financially possible until you are married.
Hopefully, the ideal situation for you in this, you get a priest who will explain why living together and marriage are different, assess your situation on it's own merits and just make sure you understand some things. But he will still marry you and take into account the financial constraints that may have caused the cohabitation.
Don't worry to much. Be honest.
well i own my own home, her parents live like 5 miles from me so its not financial i just like her being there, to be honest after i got home from iraq i can't stand being alone at night, its kinda weird and that might be part of the reason i like her living with me so much now but i just hope he doesn't say he won't marry up, i could actually refrain from being sexual and i know thats wrong right now also, actually i can understand him saying the sex is a bigger deal then the living together  |
3rd November 2009, 05:23 PM
| | CF Policy ManagerHave Fun
| | Join Date: 3rd March 2006
Posts: 18,019
Blessings: 12,104,234 My Mood
Reps: 668,042,797,429,940,736 (power: 668,042,797,429,964) | | Originally Posted by ironford well i own my own home, her parents live like 5 miles from me so its not financial i just like her being there, to be honest after i got home from iraq i can't stand being alone at night, its kinda weird and that might be part of the reason i like her living with me so much now but i just hope he doesn't say he won't marry up, i could actually refrain from being sexual and i know thats wrong right now also, actually i can understand him saying the sex is a bigger deal then the living together
Given what you have described, be honest. I doubt he will refuse to marry you. Let him know how much marriage means to you and tell him you are willing to not have sex and focus the upcoming time on the impending marriage and your life together. Priests deal with this all the time.
I would honestly be shocked, given what you have said, if he refused to marry you.
Above all my congratulations. My wife and I just celebrated our 6th anniversary and had our first little girl who is 5 months old. Many blessings on your life together. Thank you for serving in Iraq and my God bless you both.
Again, just be honest. Let him know you want to marry each other and that you are willing to work with him, take the marriage classes and talk about the differences between living together and marriage.
__________________
If pregnancy presents a challenge, do we as a society rise to the challenge by dispensing with the child? And when a pregnancy comes at a difficult time, what is the worthier response? Do we surround mother and child with protection and love, or do we hold out to her the cold comfort of a trip to an abortionist? Where is our true character as a nation to be seen - let's ask ourselves this question: Where is our true character to be seen, in an adoptive home, or in an abortion clinic? Who are we? Who are we America? That question deserves an answer.
Bob Casey Sr.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
|
3rd November 2009, 05:27 PM
| | Regular Member
29
| | Join Date: 13th November 2004 Location: Michigan
Posts: 217
Blessings: 90,732
Reps: 12,369 (power: 20) | | Originally Posted by Davidnic Given what you have described, be honest. I doubt he will refuse to marry you. Let him know how much marriage means to you and tell him you are willing to not have sex and focus the upcoming time on the impending marriage and your life together. Priests deal with this all the time.
I would honestly be shocked, given what you have said, if he refused to marry you.
Above all my congratulations. My wife and I just celebrated our 6th anniversary and had our first little girl who is 5 months old. Many blessings on your life together. Thank you for serving in Iraq and my God bless you both.
Again, just be honest. Let him know you want to marry each other and that you are willing to work with him, take the marriage classes and talk about the differences between living together and marriage.
thanks you i really hope he doesn't refuse to marry us i guess ive never actually heard of that happening but ive been nervous for a few weeks about everything |
3rd November 2009, 08:03 PM
|  | Dona Quixote
  
| | Join Date: 11th June 2005
Posts: 14,424
Blessings: 1,004,095,644 My Mood 
Reps: 409,023,927,841,344,704 (power: 409,023,927,841,365) | | | Welcome home, soldier. I think that some of your anxieties might be due to your overseas service, and that what you are experiencing upon your return to the United States might be natural.
I hope that your meeting with the priest goes well. Do you and your fiancee know the local priests? If so, your intuition will probably tell you which priest to choose. In my town, I can only think of one priest who would give you a difficult time, and people with concerns about their living situations just avoid him.
(One left the parish because of her divorce and remarriage to a non-Catholic, went to another church with a nicer priest, and lo and behold, her husband was baptized and their marriage solemnized in two years. Are you listening, priests? You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar....)
__________________
"The world is wide, and I will not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum."
- Frances E. Willard |
3rd November 2009, 08:54 PM
| | Newbie
| | Join Date: 27th August 2009
Posts: 274
Blessings: 100,038,751 My Mood 
Reps: 7,229,019,206,390,233 (power: 7,229,019,206,393) | | | The priest may not marry you when you tell him that you are living together. Perhaps it is best to do the right thing and live in separate residences until you are married. |
3rd November 2009, 10:31 PM
|  | Junior Member
38 
| | Join Date: 22nd October 2006 Location: NB
Posts: 912
Blessings: 1,080,888 My Mood 
Reps: 274,762,850,861,842,784 (power: 274,762,850,861,848) | | here's a little gem for you, i would recommend it to anyone planning to get married. - The Gift Foundation -
wish i had heard something like that many years ago.
God bless
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
|
4th November 2009, 09:01 AM
| | Regular Member
29
| | Join Date: 13th November 2004 Location: Michigan
Posts: 217
Blessings: 90,732
Reps: 12,369 (power: 20) | | Originally Posted by heavenschild The priest may not marry you when you tell him that you are living together.
thats what im worried about. guess we could always do like everyone else nowadays and just lie but we won't well tell the truth
and i really don't know the priest that great but hes basically the best priest ive ever heard, ive been going back to church for a little over 7 months and hes great so i really hope he will do this |
4th November 2009, 10:13 AM
| | Dona Quixote
| | Join Date: 11th June 2005
Posts: 14,424
Blessings: 1,004,095,644 My Mood
Reps: 409,023,927,841,344,704 (power: 409,023,927,841,365) | | Originally Posted by ironford thats what im worried about. guess we could always do like everyone else nowadays and just lie but we won't well tell the truth
and i really don't know the priest that great but hes basically the best priest ive ever heard, ive been going back to church for a little over 7 months and hes great so i really hope he will do this
I've been married so long (39 years) that my memory is a little fuzzy, but I don't recall the priest who married us asking us any questions about our living arrangements or sexual activity. I don't think you need to volunteer any information that isn't specifically asked, but I wouldn't lie, either.
__________________
"The world is wide, and I will not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum."
- Frances E. Willard | | |
| Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes |  Linear Mode |
| | |
