My husband is rejecting me because I love Jesus

The title of this thread pretty much sums up my problem. My husband is not saved and he lost interest in me when I got saved. He has lost all interest in me sexually and he is often intolerant of me.

I'm not perfect, I try not to nag him. I also try to do what the bible says and win him over without words by being a good wife. The problem is that the more I try to serve him, the more he treats me like a doormat.

I know that he loves what the world loves (and the world prefers worldly women over Godly women). He says that he still loves me and he is still a good friend to me, but I feel so unloved and sexually unattractive. I'm a romantic person and I really miss the romance that we had.

I need advice and prayer.

I'm sorry to hear that. It's unfair how he is treating you. Religious intolerance is a terrible thing. My husband is Agnostic and is incredibly respectful of other people's faiths, including mine. That's really the way it should be.

Have you sat down and talked to him about how you feel, and about how he feels? Nothing changes for him, I don't understand why he would do this. Has your behavior changed much at all? What your husband is doing isn't really what I'd associate with a religious change, but a behavior change.. like, have you given up drinking or going out with him to do things you used to enjoy together? If so, he may actually feel abandoned in some ways. You need to sit down and talk about any changes that may be taking place in your life as a result of your faith, and let him know that he is still priority in your life.

But if there's been no change, if everything is still the same, and the only thing he's reacting against is your newfound religious beliefs... there's a problem here. He's basically decided to take your beliefs as ridiculous, and as a result he's begun to consider you ridiculous and push you away in important ways. That's just not going to work.

Either way, I honestly think your husband must be scared, even if he's not showing "fear" as his primary response. I think he feels out of control, or even duped. He feels as though you are not the person he married... it's kind of like when two Christians marry, and one leaves the faith. The Christian spouse will feel "duped", almost cheated on... like they lost the person they love.

It's possible your husband is grieving the person he married, even though you are right there in front of him. He may be confused on how to relate to you, and as a result is responding in negative ways such as keeping you at arm's length, or perhaps even anger.

You need to talk. Sit down and talk calmly together about the situation. If you can't get on the same page just the two of you, counseling may be in order for a third party to shed some light on the situation for the both of you.

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Thank you for the advice. Yes there are some positive changes that I can make and I'm working on those, but for the most part I havn't changed that much from when I married him. The sins that I have turned away from were not things that didn't affect him either way, so I don't know why he feels this way towards me.

*nods* All right, so what we know is that his change is not based on anything drastic you've changed about your lives, so we can check that off the list.


He might be afraid that you will change, in the future, and turn into someone else, someone he's unfamiliar with. He might be afraid that his life is about to change drastically, so he's cutting it off at the pass and making changes himself that he can control.

Either that or maybe he's just got very awful stereotypes about Christians and he's having a hard time separating the wife that he loves from the Christians that he doesn't like very much, now that they are one in the same.

He must have some very negative feelings about Christianity.... When you converted, did he ever tell you how he feels about Christianity, and why?

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Thank you for the suggestions. I need to put more effort into talking to him about the issues you have mentioned. I don't know if it will help, but it's worth a try.

Talking has the power to break down walls and solve a whole ton of problems I hope and pray he's receptive to communicating about whatever it is that's bothering him.

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Could also be he's got something going on, and your religious change is coincidental.

Clinical depression can lead to isolating oneself, which leads to more depression, which leads to more isolation.