My journey to my new relationship with Christ

Sorry, just noticed I posted in the wrong forum. I guess it belongs in the testimony forum...

I wanted to share this with those who seek a deeper relationship with Christ. I know that some already found it and some are still searching. So maybe it will help somebody. Or maybe it will give some insight to those who already are close to Him. But it also shows the heart of Christ, in His revelations to me.

I was born in a Christian family and became a born again believer in my childhood. I tried to live according to the Bible and Christian principles. God was my authority and my ideal. During the course of life, there were periods where I was closer to God and there were periods when I cooled down. I tried to study the Bible, but I would stop after a little while: it just didn’t work out. All I could do was read. And you can’t really find the answers just by reading. I attended numerious adult and youth Bible studies, so I have learned quite a bit that way. But I still had questions that were not answered there.
Most Christians around me were satisfied with the given answers. Therefore, when I talked to them about still searching they were surprised and did not understand me. So at some point, I felt alone in my thinking. I had my own ideas about Christianity. For example, I was raised a baptist, but I believed that pentecoastals are also right about certain things, like speaking in tongues and prophesies, because it was written in the Bible. And so I did not know why baptists were rejecting those things, except that they were going by traditional teachings of men rather than by the Word of God.

So I lived according to the truth as I saw it. I didn’t believe in legalism. I thought that rules were given for a purpose and rules themselves were not our God. But I was pretty strict with myself about not wearing certain things because I believed it would not please God. As my views on that changed, so did my external looks. I believed that I should live according to what my conscience tells me (and not according to what other people are doing.) So I stood out a lot. It wasn’t fun, but it was the right way.

The Bible was my authority. If anybody tried to argue against it, I would defend it. If a scientist comes to me and tells me that something in the Bible is wrong, I would tell him that he is wrong and that he just doesn’t know it yet. So this is the kind of a Christian I have been all these years. And yet, I did not have that much faith. If something bad were to happen, I would panic. I didn’t think that God was involved in every single area of life, but only in the major ones. I did not feel that God was close, but somewhere up there in heaven. I knew that He lived in us, but to me it was more symbolic than real, as far as feeling it was concerned. Sometimes I thought: God, it’s easy for you to live in a nice place like heaven, but here on earth it’s hard for us to live. I always wanted to be in heaven rather than on earth. But if you asked me why, I would say: because I am scared to be on this earth. It’s a bad place.

There was a song written by somebody where it said: when I get to heaven, the first thing I want to see is Jesus. That wasn’t me. I didn’t feel it. I kind of felt ashamed that I didn’t feel that way. But I just didn’t. It reminds me of a story where this preacher was putting all his heart into describing the beauty of God to people and then said: this is what you are going to get. And somebody said: yes, that’s great, but what else do we get? The preacher then knew that the person didn’t get his point.

A few years ago I made a decision to study the Bible. I didn’t know how I could do it since my previous attempts have failed. But I decided to stick to it. I chose the BEST time, when my mind was most receptive. And I gave it as much time as I could find. And God has rewarded my efforts. I started to see the truths I have not seen before. I started to understand spiritual life principles and secrets. I started to see God’s purpose in giving rules, as to why certain rules were given. It’s always easier to obey if you know WHY something is there. I can’t say for sure, but either in 1 year or 1.5, I started to feel closer to God. My faith increased drastically. I wasn’t that scared of the coming bad days anymore. I knew that God was in control and that everything happens for a reason and that He will take care of me. I started to feel that God was my personal Father (not just a Father in heaven Who was watching over everybody overall), but my personal and close Father, who cared for me personally. I gained confidence in my salvation. (Before, I questioned it sometimes, not knowing how to know for sure.) I felt that I matured spiritually (to some degree). And the Bible became a source of my joy and spiritual renewal. I looked forward to reading/studying it now.
In the last few years of my life (I guess about the time when I started to get my spiritual food from studying the Bible) I decided that going to church wasn’t doing me much good spiritually or socially. There wasn’t enough “meat” in the sermons, and I was too shy to mingle with people socially. So I just started to listen to online sermons (I chose the preachers who I thought were God-inspired.) I sang songs from the internet and I studied the Bible. I came to believe that true worship of God is EVERY DAY, not just on Sundays. I posted Bible scriptures on my walls: I wanted to make it so that everywhere I look, I can read something about God, that way I can keep Him close to my thoughts.

During the last year, I started praying: lead me in the paths of righteousness and in the way everlasting. And I really meant it. And then something really really amazing has happened. Jesus Christ called me!
SON 2:10 My lover spoke and said to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me. SON 4:8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride, come with me from Lebanon.

And here is how it happened.

One time as I was studying, this verse drew my attention: JAM 4:5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the Spirit He caused to live in us envies intensely?
I didn’t know what this verse meant. Why would the Spirit be envious? I always thought that “adultery with the world” was a symbolic phrase, used as a picture, but not the real thing. (1 John 2:15, James 4:4)
So as I was trying to figure out the meaning of the verse, God started sending all kinds of materials my way. They were each describing a different side of an issue, but altogether drew me a picture of a “human side” of God. More to the point, that God was like us. That He felt things like we do. That He desires fellowship like we do. That He loves like we do (although much better). After all, we were created according to His image. And finally I realized that the Spirit who lives in me is my Groom. And He has feelings and He wants my attention and my love.
So then I realized that, as His bride, if I give my time to the things of this world, it’s the same as adultery because it’s taking the time away from Him (especially if those things are something He does not like, worldly things). He dreams of spending His time with me. Therefore, the things of the world become His rival for my affections. And therefore, they become my “mistress”, and therefore, I am committing adultery. If I run to things to satisfy me instead of running to God, it’s the same as if a spouse ran to his mistress to satisfy him instead of his spouse. That makes God jealous. It makes Him envious. And I didn’t want to do that to Him. I decided that His rival in my life was watching movies because I gave lots of my time to it and found my pleasure in it.

So I did two things: first, I gave up watching movies
(by the way it was a scary step: I thought: what’s going to happen to me? How will I survive? I’ll be bored to death…) (but so far so good)
And second, I decided to spend all of my free time talking to Him, studying about Him, getting to know Him better, singing to Him. In a little while, I fell in love with Jesus Christ, my Groom. I felt the sweetness of this fellowship and I liked these new exciting feelings which made God so real to me, and so close.
But then some misunderstanding happened. I misunderstood a verse about His sheep hearing His voice. (I mean I always knew its meaning, but at that point I sort of got confused).

In Song of Songs it says that after Jesus put His hand through the lock and sort of “unlocked” her heart, immediately, she got the desire for Him and went to open to Him. But she couldn’t find Him. Songs 5:2-9 And it says that she went searching for Him. It’s like it’s what happened to me too. Right after I found the sweetness of our fellowship (I felt the desire for Him), I read the verse which says: my sheep hear my voice. Then I wondered why I never hear His voice. Then I questioned my salvation, whether I was even His sheep. So it’s like that girl, she opened her heart, but then it’s like He was gone. So I was going through a few days of depressed feelings and questions. I felt rejected by God. It hurt. I prayed for a sign that I was saved. And Jesus answered me. He actually spoke to me through a person and He said: I AM talking to you. (There were a few more things expressed, but the point was: I am talking to you, but just not in your head, but in other ways, like through songs for example.)
I was really happy to find out that I am His, and that He loves me. And I remembered that He was trying to reach me through two songs which He sent my way, which were of great comfort to me during the times of my distress.
One of the songs had these words in it: Don’t give up, you are loved.
And the other said: Don't cry little one…You'll be part of the love that you seek. Someone's waiting for you.

And then God surprised me even more. Some person responded to my post and said that he had a message for me from God. Needless to say I was extremely excited. The message said this:
"Yes my child. I am preparing you. I shall teach you how to precisely and accurately distinguish between My voice, and the voice of the deceiver. Do not let the people who think they have Me figured out discourage you. They think that they can label Me, analyze Me, and put Me in a box. I shall confound the people of the world. Those who think that they Have me figured out will be confounded. Ask Me, and you shall receive whatsoever you need. It is done. I have spoken."

So after that, as our relationship progressed, I began to grow in my understanding of God and of His love for me, and of His love for people in general. It seems that we misunderstand God a lot. We read (and say) that God is love. But it seems that sometimes we describe Him as not loving and see Him in that way too. We say one thing, but we believe another. And it’s because it’s so hard to see His love in our circumstances. And it’s because we don’t really understand how things work and why. But little by little my understanding began to grow.
I’ve come close to Him and I feel His presence through my faith. So now, if I think something negative, I feel ashamed, because it’s like I am saying it right in front of Him. So this helped me to significantly reduce my negative thoughts about people. I also try to focus my thoughts on Him rather than on anything that I don’t really need to think about. My life feels so different. There is excitement and soul satisfaction and joy.

Of course, I still have to go through trials, but I’ve learned to understand their purpose and I’ve learned to believe that God knows what He is doing and that He is strong enough to lead us to victory through each trial. I’ve learned to see them from a loving point of view: it’s like a mother would lead her child through chemotherapy to save his life. Imagine how she would feel taking her child through it. That’s what God is doing. And that’s how He feels. He loves us, He doesn’t want us to get hurt. He told me that when we hurt, it hurts Him too, because we are one. So knowing that He is symphatetic helps me to deal with them better. It’s like it says in this song (I skipped some lines):
I can read your mind and I know your story
and I see what you're going through yeah
It's an uphill climb, and I'm feeling sorry

But it's plain to see, if we stick together
You're gonna find the way
God sticks together with us. We never go through a trial alone. He is always there. And He wants us to rest in Him, to find comfort in His arms. (Just like a child would be comforted by his mother’s presence after a round of chemotherapy.)
To be continued:

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God is the Love of my life

During this new and exciting time, it felt like the road was paved before me. Something would happen every day, I would learn something new. So once I discovered that, I woke up each morning and thought with excitement: I wonder what today will bring. It felt like I was going through a crash course on something, namely “God’s Love”.
As I briefly mentioned, I discovered that God chose to talk to me through songs. When I was looking for worship songs on the internet, I accidentally stumbled across some others. And I saw in them something that was relevant to my life. I saw them from “God and me” perspective. I don’t know if other people can see the same meaning in them or not, but for example, this one said:
Come on baby lets get out of this town
I got a full tank of gas with the top rolled down
Theres a chill in my bones I dont want to be left alone
So baby you can sleep while I drive
Here is what I see in it:
let’s get out of town - means come with me from Lebanon my bride Songs 4:8 (Lebanon=world)
I got a full tank – means I have everything we need for this journey.
There is a chill in my bones and I don’t want to be left alone is like:
SON 5:2 … open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled: for my head is filled with dew, and my locks with the drops of the night. (I am cold and wet, and alone)

And there was an extra line, which really brought me comfort: you can sleep while I drive. To me it meant that God was confirming, that yes, I AM taking you on a journey and I will take care of everything and you can just relax and trust Me. And of course, I wondered if I would know what to do on this journey, what is the right thing, if I could be what God wants me to be. And God said: relax, I will make you see all the things your heart needs to know.

See me as if you never knew (our new relationship)
Hold me so you can't let go (cling to God with all your might)
Just believe in me
I will make you see All the things that your heart needs to know
You will see I can give you Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more


And of course, I did realize that getting closer to God also means suffering. And I was always afraid of that. But I wanted to be close to God no matter what. So this song sort of resounded in my heart:

We're heading for something somewhere I've never been
Sometimes I am frightened
But I'm ready to learn of the power of love

And this song was another confirmation to me that yes, I am calling you, come and be with me.

So while this world is falling apart, why don't you come be with me?
Love can be so simple when you let it flow
Keep it in your head, feel it in your heart, send it through your soul
Look up at the stars burning bright Listen to the wind whisper sweet
Heaven and earth know the moment is right Why don't you come be with me?


So I have learned that Jesus chose to talk to me through songs. So we were having a conversation. I would be thinking of something, or having a problem with something, or asking Him something, and He would send me a song the next day which addressed that. (I mean I came across them on the internet. I would just open my page on Youtube and there would be a row of songs. And I clicked on whatever title which seemed appealing at the time. And lots of times those were the songs which answered my questions). He was mostly teaching me about His love for me, about how I need to depend on Him and trust Him, about how He is always there for me no matter what, how He is a part of me and how happy He is about our fellowship. I want to share the songs because they are like messages from God. I’ll be skipping lines, so they won’t even rhyme, but otherwise the document would get way too long.
One time all these negative thoughts came over me (it felt unusual, like it was an attack or something) and were wearing me out and I couldn’t stop myself from thinking them. And God sent me these songs, which really helped me to calm down:

Your mind is spinning and your thoughts are winning Be still Be still
Be still and know I am your God Be still and trust in your God

I've been holding on so tight Look at these knuckles They've gone white
I'm fighting for who I wanna be
But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say you will be everything I need
You say let it go.

One time I was going through a spiritual battle. And this song was really relevant because I really did feel like I gave all I had, but it seemed that it wasn’t enough. I felt that I was a failure. That I couldn’t please God. But then God sent me this song and I realized that it was just a trial, an attack and that sometimes you CAN feel that way, but that God will see you through, trials have a purpose.

Tell me what do you give when you've given your all
And it seems like you can't make it through
You just stand, watch the Lord see you through
Yes after you've done all you can, you just stand
Stand and endure For God has a purpose yes God has a plan,
Hold on, just be strong God will step in, it won't be long

This song is just a perfect summary of what God is doing. And I have learned to believe it in my heart.

Oh it's hard for you to understand All the mysteries in my plan
And why things work out the way they do
Whey there are rooms we must go through
You must always keep one thing in mind
I am working all the time To bring about my perfect plan
so I am asking you to still Trust in Me, whatever may come
It's my job to see you through
Trust in Me whatever may come your way

On my bad days, I would sometimes feel doubts about God loving me. I was afraid that we can get separated. So one time He send me this song:
Don't cry you must have heard some things about me
That made you turn away that made you have your doubts about me.
You were hearingrumors I can see it in your eyes (from the evil one)
They tried to get you to believe that someone else could take your place.
You can put your faith in me I will never set you free
You can put your trust in me love will have its victory
Nothing in the world will ever change what's in my heart:
With love beside us nothing can divide us!

At the very beginning of my journey I was excited about my new relationship. But at the same time I was afraid: what if I turn away later, what if some trials will be too much and will make me reject Him? I wish that He would give me something with the word “destiny” in it. Then it would be sure. Because we know, if something is “destiny” then NO MATTER what happens in between, the end is always the same. So He gave me this song. Wow! I absolutely adored the line: I swear that you’ll always be mine…

The first time I laid my eyes on you I knew
We’d spend this life side by side.
I still feel the same though you’re so far away.
I swear that you’ll always be mine...
Forever love. I promise you.
Someday we’ll be together. I wont give up no matter what.
I’ll be waiting for you. So don’t cry, just keep me right there in your dreams
Love is the road to our destiny. Nothing can change what is meant to be.

There was one of those bad days. I needed comfort. And He sent me this song, which really comforted me:

When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand,
and nothing, nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights.
You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you got to do is call and I'll be there,
You've got a friend.

He gave me lots of different songs which say that He will always be there. And here are some lines just from 2 of them:
I’ll be there for you You don't have to feel alone
Like a shadow by your side
And if you close your eyes You will feel me next to you
No matter what you're going through I'll be there for you

I’ll be there, but you might not see me, it’s never easy to get through

During this new journey, God had to convince me of His love. I am used to living by sight and not by faith. I see things that say to us that God doesn’t really care. So it took a lot of songs and confirmations. I called myself: an alzeimer’s bride. One day I would believe strongly in my new relationship with Christ and I would think of Him with love and I would believe in His love. The next day, I would feel kind of empty, half not believing, half not feeling anything. And so God told me in this song:

Your phone was really broken I tried your number twice
If you need confirmation, baby I understand
It's alright if you want me to Tell you you You got my only heart
I adore you but there's a hole in the cup that should hold my love

And I said: yes, God, so true. Your love just keeps leaking out.
to be continued:

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God is the Love of my life

continuation:
It’s ironic that God chose me to tell people about His love since I knew so little about love. But then again, it’s like God took an empty vessel and filled it with all the information that He wanted it to have intead of having somebody with their own preconceived ideas about love. And second, it’s just like God, to take a weak and a lacking vessel, so that He could show His power through it. Through a chance meeting, coordinated by God of course, I got this book on the topic of love. (Ed Wheat, “how to stay in love for a lifetime”) This guy really knew what he was talking about. To know God is to know love. That’s how I saw it. So I read the book on love to learn more about God. And I did learn. Whatever the husband should be like, as described in this book, God already IS. (Although no husband reached that yet). So it’s like the guy was describing the love between God and the Church since no human relationship ever came to the level of love described in this book. That was the ideal, something to reach for. And something that Christ and Church will learn to share with each other as they develop their relationship.

I am learning. For example, it says that in order to best satisfy your spouse, you should KNOW your spouse first. You should really really know what she is like, what she likes and doesn’t like. Otherwise, you won’t be able to satisfy her needs. And who better than Christ knows the needs of each one of us? In this other song, it’s like God is telling men: hey, guys, have you REALLY ever loved a woman? Here is how you do it… (And so here is how God is doing it)

To really love a woman, to understand her - you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought, see every dream, and give her wings when she wants to fly
When you love a woman you need to tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
She needs somebody to tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really - really ever loved a woman?
You got to give her some faith, hold her tight, Show a little tenderness - gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin' good care of you Ya really gotta love your woman...

Since my conversations with Jesus Christ, I have come to believe that this is how Jesus loves His Bride. He has a deep understanding of her, and so He can meet her needs. He has a deep deep unending love for her, great great adoration and so much tenderness. He is by her side every step of the way. He feels her pain and rejoices in her happiness. He teaches her, guides her, finds pleasure in her love and delights in loving her back. He loves to talk to her, loves to share special moments of fellowship and intimacy with her. He loves to stare at her. Because she is perfectly beautiful. And she is perfect (Songs 4:7, Heb 10:14 Col 1:22)

SON 2:14 …show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.
SON 4:1 How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!
PSA 45:11 The king is enthralled by your beauty;
SON 4:10 How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine!

His desire is for us. He made us specifically in such a way that He would desire us. That way we could have a perfect eternal love relationship. And that’s why He calls us His Bride. We are the object of His desire. SON 7:10 I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me.

It says here in Hosea that in the wilderness (of forsaking the world and forsaking your self) the bride meets Jesus in a close and intimate way. So God is leading His Bride into the wilderness, in order to develop a close relationship between them. He talks tenderly to her, in an intimate way. This is when she becomes His partner, His soulmate. She calls him: my husband instead of my master. She learns to lean on him. This is where she learns to think of Him as her portion, her treasure, her inheritance. This is where God’s dreams come true: when the Church realizes that God and her are each other’s portion, each other’s inheritance, each other’s treasure. EPH 1:18 Num 18:20

HOS 2:14 "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.
HOS 2:16 "In that day," declares the LORD, "you will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master.'
SON 8:5 Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved?

Here it says: and you will know the Lord. HOS 2:20 I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the LORD.
The word know is the same one used in Gen 4:1, Adam knew his wife. So it’s very possible that it’s referring to us becoming “one” here, when it says “will know the Lord”. (EPH 5:31,32)

On this new exciting journey, God surprised me even more. He started to talk to me through a person on a regular basis. So some messages came through the songs, and some through the person. He said that He loves it when I talk to Him and that He loves to talk to me too. He said that it’s true intimacy when you can share your thoughts.
(Jesus mentioned that we are His friends because He shared things with us. Jn 15:15 Ps 25:14)

Here is the song that pretty much describes how Jesus Christ feels about me, about you, and about any other member (individually) of the Bride collective:

You thrill me, you delight me You please me, you excite me
You're something I'd been waiting for
I love you, I adore you I lay my life before you
I'll have you want me more and more
I'm gonna make you mine You're gonna feel so fine
You'll never want to leave me
I feel you belong to me Someday you will agree Please, believe me

God fell in love with us. It says here that it took just one look.
SON 4:9 You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes

And it basically says the same thing in this song:

Just one look, that’s all it took, and I fell so hard in love with you
I found out how good it feels to have your love
Say you will, will be mine, forever and always

And this poem says it too, which I believe also talks about our wedding day. And the sipping of the wine is mentioned and Jesus said that He won’t drink wine until they meet in the Kingdom.

The moment we met I felt the presence of her soul when she touched me, I had to make her mine,
My love for her is endless, from the depths of my soul,
Rooted deeper than a one hundred year old tree she excites my every pore,
I pray she can envision with completeness, the future we have in-store, (Eph 1:18)
The red carpet will be laid, the trumpets will sound, we will sip the finest wine, (Lk 22:10 1CO 15:52)
A ceremony of all ceremonies with all our friends and relations, the happiest day of my life, (REV 19:7)
The day when this vision of loveliness will be mine.


So God is in love. But we are separated, so He has been waiting all these years for His wedding day.

Darling did you know I dream about life together
Knowing it will be forever
I'll be yours and you'll be mine (SON 2:16)
Now I know you may have made mistakes
But there's forgiveness and a second chance
So wait for me Darling wait for me


Or this one:

If it takes forever I will wait for you
For a thousand summers I will wait for you
Till you're back beside me, till I'm holding you
Till I hear you sigh here in my arms
Anywhere you wander, anywhere you go
Every day remember how I love you so
In your heart believe what in my heart I know
That forevermore I'll wait for you

When I was thinking about what to talk to God about in my thoughts (since He is my Groom), these songs give an idea:

Tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes
Reach out to him And whisper Tender words so soft and sweet
Touch him with the gentleness you feel inside
Your love can't be denied The truth will set you free
You'll have what's meant to be All in time you'll see

Speak softly, Love, and hold me warm against your heart
I feel your words, the tender trembling moments start
We're in a world, our very own
Sharing a love that only few have ever known



One time I thought: Jesus, your love is so great and mine is so tiny. How can I ever satisfy you. How can I ever give you enough in return?
He sent me this song to say: All I need is for you to give all that you CAN give and that will be quite enough for me:
Love me with all your heart,
That's all I want Love,
Love me always, as you loved me from the start..
With every beat of your heart.

There were times I doubted my newly found relationship. I thought that maybe I wasn’t thinking correctly. At some point I came to believe that our fairy tales were just little pictures of a true love story between God and soul. So in those doubting moment I asked: God, am I wrong? Are fairy tales NOT just a reminder of the divine love story? And He answered with this song, to say, yes, it’s a classic love story:
Classic case of boy meets girl Moving in the same direction
You're not asking for the world I'm not asking for perfection

Somebody else who believes this wrote this song:
Then I saw the Morning Star, Made a wish, now here you are
Fairy tales are real Wishes do come true
You have given me Cinderella’s dream
The Prince of Peace has won my heart Now the happy ending starts


And as I can see it, in this song God says: I am not that different from you people. I have feelings too. And I need somebody to have and to hold too. You just don’t understand it because you can’t explain it.
Why can't they understand the way we feel
They just don't trust what they can't explain
I know we're different but, deep inside us
We're not that different at all
And you'll be in my heart From this day on now and forever more
Don't listen to them 'Cause what do they know
We need each other, to have, to hold They'll see in time I know
When destiny calls you You must be strong
cause I may not be with you But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time I know We'll show them together
cause you'll be in my heart Yes, you'll be in my heart

To be continued:

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God is the Love of my life

continuation:

God has sent me many many more songs and messages through a person. But I can’t write them all, it would turn into a book, and I was trying to keep it as short as possible. But there was so much more about the depth and greatness of His love for me and you. I just wanted to share this amazing discovery of God as our intimate Companion, Best Friend, Groom, Comforter, Protector, Husband, and a Soulmate.
One time He said: do you know how much I love you? I thought: probably not. He said: you can’t even imagine. (The more capable the person is of loving, the more love He has. God is capable of infinite feelings and His feelings of love are infinite and His adoration for us is great in accordance with the depth of His feelings.)

But God did say: I want ALL of you. I don’t want a half heart. I want ALL that you can give. He Himself gives us all that He can give. And He requires it in return. When we perfectly submit to Him, when we take our cross of self-denial, then we give our heart and desires and life over to Him. And then our life will be only about Him. And in that way, we will give Him all we have. And when we do that, we can become one. There will be nothing, no junk, separating us from each other. We will be bonded together as one in the bond of love. So it’s not because God wants us to suffer and have a sad life that He asks to give it all to Him. It’s because this is the only way to become ONE with Him, become bonded in the bond of love. And this love will be your great reward.

I want:
All of you, your body and soul
Every kind of love you can express
All the secret dreams you've never told
I want everything And I'll take nothing less
I want all of you that you can give
All your joys and all your sorrows
Your todays and your tomorrows
And then if I'm not asking too much
I'd like to spend my life wand'ring through
All the wonders of you
I want you to reveal what you feel All you hold deep inside
There is nothing I want you to hide
And in return for all your giving
Let me give you all of me

I want you to need me Like the air you breathe
I want you to feel me In everything
The way that I taste you feel you breathe you need you
I want you to need me Like I need you
I wanna be the eyes that look deep into your soul
I wanna be the world to you I just want it all
'Cause I need you More than you could know
And I need you To never never let me go
And I need to be deep inside your heart
I just want to be everywhere you are....

His tender compassion and care and love is expressed in these songs:

Come here and cry on my shoulder I'll hold you 'til it's over
Let My arms be your shelter Your hiding place forever
I love you more than life
My heart is reaching out More then you will ever know
Is your burden too much? Is it more then you can bear
I'll help carry the load if you're willing to share


I'll take care of you Don't be sad, don't be blue
I'll never break your heart in two
I'll kiss your tears away I'll end your lonely days
All that I'm really tryin' to say Is I'll take care of you
I want you to know that I love you so
I'm proud to tell the world you're mine (He told me that too: I am proud to call you mine)
I said it before, I'll say it once more
You'll be in my heart 'til the end of time

Trouble me, disturb me with all your cares and you worries.
Trouble me on the days when you feel spent.
Why let your shoulders bend underneath this burden when my back is sturdy and strong? Trouble me.

When every moment gets too hard End of the road can feel so far
No matter how much time were apart I’m always near you
I’ll be the shelter in your rain Help you find your smile again


When your lost, when you’re alone and you can't get back again
I will find you darling I'll bring you home

Oh, baby, anywhere you go, We are bound together
I begin, baby, where you end Some things are forever !
Circle in the sand round and round
Never ending love is what weve found
And you complete the heart of me
Our love is all we need

Together as one We'll stand for the world to see
Together as one We'll shine bright throughout eternity
All the dreams we've dreamed before Are now reality
Now the dreams of a perfect love Will always be
You and I in a perfect love faithfully

I bless the day I found you I want to stay around you
And so I beg you, let it be me
Don't take this heaven from one
If you must cling to someone Now and forever, let it be me
Each time we meet Love I find complete love
Without your sweet love what would life be

Imagine me and you, I do, I think about you day and night
It's only right To think about the girl you love
And hold her tight, So happy together
THE END

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God is the Love of my life

When I was a teenager, I placed a face mirror in front of another face mirror and noticed hundreds of mirrors in both face mirrors, creating an illusion of an endless doorway in time and space. I believe God opens our minds like an eternal doorway in time and space to allow gifts from heaven to react with multiple actions and goals and in our lives. What might seem unChristian to you, me or others can be beneficial to people's financial survival. Watching a movie for example is understanding how much time and effort has been done in making it. The DVD feature of Star Trek 2009 shows how the director uses the non-digital film to bring out the artistic nature of light beaming on the starship Enterprise, a reality never experienced with digital film where light appears to make images unrealistic and crayon-like. Our mission as Christians is to bring non-Christians to Christ. Whatever we do, God is quietly and secretly working supernaturally helping people that goes beyond our normal five senses of sight, sound, smell, hearing and taste.

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I learn to accept Jesus Christ and our God the Father by default.

I just noticed, with surprise, that somehow I posted this in "advice" thread. My oversight. I didn't mean to post here, sorry.

(But since I do believe in God working in supernatural ways, maybe He caused this to happen...you never know....)

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God is the Love of my life

Lol, ohhh, that is a good one.

That is definitely from God.

Yeah.

I appreciate you sharing your story, it parallels mine in a lot of ways. Some ways, not so much.

In my twenties, I did the monk routine... no radio, no television, no movies. I didn't want the noise having just really discovered the Bible. I was led by God strongly when I was younger and was always on a quest to find God because of events in my youth... but it wasn't until my early twenties when I finally filled in the blanks by reading it.

I ended up finding a church and it happened to be one wrought with legalism. I immediately said something and had no problem standing my ground but also making friends with the people. The hypocrisy was glaring.

God also had put some worldly people in my life who happened to be extremely loving, but not strong believers. I did not judge them in the least for their worldly endeavors. So, it wasn't that I felt by "not doing" that I was saying, "You have to not do to be saved" or follow some rule. I simply didn't feel I could handle the noise.

Eventually, God forcibly knocked me out of my monk bubble. It had gotten bad. I was barely able to talk to anyone without directly speaking about Scripture. Further, I found myself very angry at the world and people for things such as not supporting the persecuted church... and never seeming to ask questions about God or seek God seriously, at all.

Within time, I eventually settled into a normal life again, but this time with renewed focus. Still, I felt, however for many years that most of the world was horribly doomed and the apocalypse was approaching. But, God put in my path tasks to do... tasks that took up a lot of my effort... which focused on trying to make the world a better place.

The paradox was horrible: on one hand I felt God could come at any moment and everyone not right with God was doomed. On the other hand, despite this I felt an obligation to strive my best to do good in the world, even if all that good was futile.

Finally, God brought me to a place of balance where He showed me there was hope. That is what really changed my perception of everything. And I started to see that divisions between people could be repaired by His grace. That people can be saved regardless of the position they are in.

As for tv, movies, ordinary life stuff and such... I probably can't persuade you that is "okay". As long as you don't judge others for them, it is fine to not involve yourself. We do live in a very Christian society however and I do find things to contemplate about in God through all manner of media.

Further these silly things also help in having conversations with people. Without these conversations, what purpose is there?

Remember, that verse says, "The Spirit envies intensely" -- but that is only half of the sentence. The rest of it says, "but God gives grace to the humble". I find it is that last part of the sentence which is very deep and requires deep thought in return.


Spiritual adultery, to me is about focusing innerwardly not on God, not depending on God, not keeping his word. Not believing in Him, and not remembering Him.

It may seem weird someone could actually use movies or television or fictional books and other art as a launching point to think of God... but really, we can. It all depends on the eye of the beholder and "winnowing out the evil from the good".


But the most important thing is it keeps us from holding others to too high of a standard.

By opening our heart to others, we open our hearts to Jesus.