confused.

It isn't justice, its mercy and self-sacrificing love.

I would expect people would think such a mother very noble, and selfless, and loving. They would appreciate the sacrifice she's willing to make for her child. Justice wouldn't be served, though, if the bank robbery wasn't punished. The guilty man must pay for his crime. Likewise, a holy and just God can't look upon sin, upon evil, and simply write it off with an "Oh, that's okay. Forget about it." Doing so would be distinctly unjust and would make accommodation for sin, which a holy and just God cannot do. Instead, God satisfied both His holy justice and His loving mercy by paying the punishment for our sins Himself.

That's how you might have done things as a finite, imperfect creature, but this isn't how an infinite, perfect God chose to do things. He doesn't seem to be particularly eager to explain every little detail of His thinking to us. We couldn't comprehend it even if He tried. It seems He wants us to simply trust Him when He isn't forthcoming with answers to all our questions. Some things He has made perfectly clear; other things, well, He leaves us to wonder about.

What would we be like in a world where there was no evil, no pain, no death? Since all of these things have come out of our capacity to choose between good and evil, between obeying God and not obeying Him, in order for us to live in a world free of pain, death and evil God would have to suspend our ability to choose between good and bad, between loving Him and hating Him. He would have to make us into human robots programmed only to love and obey Him. Does that sound preferable to our present state? It doesn't to me.

If God simply went along behind us and cleaned up all our sinful messes; if He went about undoing, or negating all our sin and its consequences, He would, in effect be assisting us in sinning. But a God who let us sin with impunity wouldn't be holy or just, would He? No, He would, in fact, be evil. Moreover, a God who would do as I've just described would be effectively negating our freedom of choice as well. Neither of these things I would want from my God. Would you?

In a sense, you're right: Evil did come from God. I think, though, that it would be more correct to say that only the potential for evil came from God. Imagine a man who makes a carving knife. In order for the knife to do what it was intended by its maker to be and do, it must have a very sharp cutting edge. Now, although the knife maker intended the carving knife to carve wood, its cutting potential may be used to do other, harmful things. In the hands of a murderer, such a knife may be used to kill someone. This was never the intent of the maker of the knife, however. His intent was simply to make the knife capable of carving wood. In the same way, in order to make us as He intended us to be, God had to give us a "sharp cutting edge" that has the potential to do good and to do harm. It is never God's intent that we should use our "cutting edge" - our intellect, our self awareness, our free moral agency - to do evil, but the potential for us to do so must necessarily be there in us for us to be as God intends.

Peace.

*praying for you

[quote=aiki; In a sense, you're right: Evil did come from God. I think, though, that it would be more correct to say that only the potential for evil came from God. Imagine a man who makes a carving knife. In order for the knife to do what it was intended by its maker to be and do, it must have a very sharp cutting edge. Now, although the knife maker intended the carving knife to carve wood, its cutting potential may be used to do other, harmful things. In the hands of a murderer, such a knife may be used to kill someone. This was never the intent of the maker of the knife, however. His intent was simply to make the knife capable of carving wood. In the same way, in order to make us as He intended us to be, God had to give us a "sharp cutting edge" that has the potential to do good and to do harm. It is never God's intent that we should use our "cutting edge" - our intellect, our self awareness, our free moral agency - to do evil, but the potential for us to do so must necessarily be there in us for us to be as God intends. [/quote]

That was profound illustration aiki. Well said.

Thing about God is: he's totally just and totally "in control". No man can find God on their own, because our sins have removed us from Him through His justice. Yet God so loved the world that He came to earth to take the penalty on our behalf -- not through "human" ideas of justice but His own divine ideas.

We can't really argue with Him about why or how He chose to do it, we're simply not in that position. We just have the life of Jesus to study and figure it out -- and who is anyone to say God could have done it "better" than he did?

The good news about all of this is that He's in control, and He loves us beatifully and brilliantly enough that He GAVE HIMSELF to fulfill his laws of justice, and enables so many (billions) to come to Him through faith. That's all it takes -- faith and true willingness to follow his example. It's a poignant and elegant system IMO and it really shows how much God loves us.

Lots of people have given their opinions (me included) but I honestly encourage you to read the book of Matthew (the first one in the New Testament... as a start anyway) and see for yourself how Jesus really lived, acted, loved, died, and came back. It's eye-opening to say the least.

"I have 2 different issues. The first is whether I should be happy with just accepting that there is some kind of God, or whether I need some formal religion."

Do you believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God?

"My other problem is that I feel torn between darkness and light."

Where does this battle with darkness and light come from? Do you believe in God or not? On one hand you say you are interested in religions other than Christianity and then you say you want to please God. How can you please God if you don't believe in Him? According to the Bible there is only one way to God, and that is through His son, Jesus Christ. The Bible says that if you do not choose Jesus, by default you choose Satan.
II Corinthians 4:3,4 "But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost. In whom the god of this world (Satan) hath blinded them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them."

According to the Bible, you cannot work your way out of your sin dept. "All our righteousness are as filthy rags." Jesus said that unless your righteousness were to exceed that of the Pharisees it is impossible for you to go to heaven. During New Testement times the Pharisees were looked up to by the common people of their time as the most holy people in the world, but according to God's standards anyone who trusts in their own righteosness--not in Christ's finished work on the cross--is missing the mark. "The wages of sin is death." That means that in God's eyes we are each sinners and deserve death. "but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Whether we like it or not, we are born under the curse of sin, but the grace of God is greater than all our sin. Personally, I am thankful God is a loving God and made a way for us to get to Him through faith in Jesus Christ. Whether you accept Him or not, Jesus is the demonstration of a loving God. "Greater love hath no man than this, than to lay down his life for a friend."

"My other problem is that I feel torn between darkness and light."
That feeling of being torn between darkness and light is the Holy Spirit talking to you...Don't ignore Him.