| Christian Advice A forum for requesting and giving Biblical advice. |  | | 
1st November 2009, 03:24 AM
| | Newbie
 | | Join Date: 1st November 2009
Posts: 4
Blessings: 57,688
Reps: 10 (power: 0) | | | Boyfriend not interested in my church group I have a wonderful boyfriend of 3 years whom I respect and care about. The first 9 months of our relationship he was not a believer, but would attend church with me every so often. We broke up for a few months and got back together after he became a Christian. I also have been part of a wonderful young adults group at my church for the past few years. It would mean alot to me if my boyfriend would join in the group with me, but so far, going on 2 years, he has not been interested in doing so. He will still come to church with me every so often, and he also has been in a different church group. Is there anything I can do to encourage him to have us be in a group together? It really bothers me that he hasnt so far and it seems like it could be years longer before he might. I really dont know what to do. Thanks for any advice. | 
1st November 2009, 06:34 AM
|  | God's own 20  | | Join Date: 16th May 2009 Location: Finland
Posts: 3,690
Blessings: 111,028,110 My Mood
Reps: 1,563,462,801,713,558,016 (power: 1,563,462,801,713,564) | | I don't think there's anything else you can do about it then talk about it with him. Ask him, why he's not interested and tell him how you feel about it. You're never going to come to a solution if you just beat around the bush. I hope you'll figure something out and solve all this. God bless!
__________________ Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you. - Isaiah 46:4 | 
1st November 2009, 08:39 AM
| | Member 48  | | Join Date: 8th October 2005
Posts: 818
Blessings: 74,179
Reps: 10,805,064,884,606,180 (power: 10,805,064,884,613) | | Church groups should be varied so that a person feels comfortable in it. Young mens group adults age 18 to 35, adult mens all ages over 18. Young womens group age 18 to 35, womens group all ages over 18. Mixed men and women's group etc. Completing a group survey brochure or online about the person's personal interests and education level could decide the person's suitable one group or more.
__________________ I learn to accept Jesus Christ and our God the Father by default. | 
2nd November 2009, 05:26 PM
|  | Veteran 60 
| | Join Date: 5th October 2004 Location: Auburn , IL.
Posts: 3,101
Blessings: 12,654,958 My Mood
Reps: 154,708,238,853,052,768 (power: 154,708,238,853,063) | | | why.....
my wife does a bunch of stuff at work ...sitting, talking, kids, grandkids, and very little that men are into ....
i write a newsletter, go and minister in jail, help kids financially...we both go to church together, she ends up in office and me in the prayer room, then sanctuary.....but we are both there being productive in our own way... | 
2nd November 2009, 05:34 PM
|  | Legend-but then so's Keith Richards

| | Join Date: 4th February 2005 Location: Curtis Loew's House w/Kid Rock & Hank III
Posts: 22,455
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Reps: 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 (power: 9,223,372,036,854,806) | | It would mean alot to me if my boyfriend would join in the group with me,
Give the guy a break, why is it sooo important to you that he attend this group? You say he comes to your church on occasion, sounds like he is doing this "for you". If it is a great young adults group then just enjoy it and leave him to his own choices. It seems after 2 years you would be able to accept his "polite" not interested response.
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2nd November 2009, 06:16 PM
|  | Contributor 24 
| | Join Date: 4th September 2006 Location: California
Posts: 5,878
Blessings: 63,458,115 My Mood
Reps: 136,866,969,686,781,632 (power: 136,866,969,686,792) | | | your boyfriend doesnt have to go to everything you go to...he might not want to go to your church group for his own personal reasons or feel that he can get " what he needs there" you are blessed that he still goes to church and a group on the side that he chooses...many men dont..period.
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5th November 2009, 09:58 AM
|  | Legend

| | Join Date: 18th June 2005
Posts: 19,417
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Reps: 178,450,521,866,537,152 (power: 178,450,521,866,563) | | | If you go to different churches trouble is bound to happen sooner or later.
__________________ To know all is to forgive all. | 
5th November 2009, 04:51 PM
|  | Veteran
 | | Join Date: 14th June 2006
Posts: 4,442
Blessings: 1,171,780 My Mood
Reps: 449,146,267,979,360,896 (power: 449,146,267,979,370) | | | It does sound like he is going for you. I can't image this lasting forever but eventually it will hit a wall. You should have a serious discussion with him. Again, is he just playing church for you? Why does he attend just occasionally?
__________________ -Joh 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. -Abortion - 45 million dead babies and growing **Proverbs 6:16-17 - states that there are seven things that are an abomination to the Lord; one of them is the shedding of innocent blood. Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind, Albert Einstein. Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God, Benjamin Franklin | 
7th November 2009, 06:49 AM
|  | Newbie
 | | Join Date: 16th August 2009
Posts: 483
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Reps: 380,391,779,288,922 (power: 380,391,779,291) | | | As above. | 
7th November 2009, 09:19 AM
| | I don't like titles
 | | Join Date: 8th January 2005
Posts: 5,253
Blessings: 107,590
Reps: 67,488,658,211,473,424 (power: 67,488,658,211,486) | | | As a guy who has gone to a church that my partner had already been going to I found I was often just treated as her partner rather than as an individual. It does not make you feel welcome and does not inspire one to attend. If you are keen to go to the same group then you both should change churches untill you find oe you can both be at.
So is it the group that makes him not want to attend? Is it part of his family background?Is it something different?
What did he say when you specifically expressed your desire to be attending the same group and you asked him to help you understand his reasons for not doing so? If you haven't done this then please please get off here and do so. There is every chance this is your issue that you need to work through and not his. Of course maybe he finds it hard and needs help or something else for him to work through. Hope all goes well and you both end up where God wants you to be.
suggested reading
boundaries books by Drs cloud & Townsend
Every mans marriage (for him to read)
Five Love Languages
These books help with getting to the heart of issues and are simple to read and scripturally sound.
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