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  #1  
Old 1st November 2009, 03:24 AM
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Boyfriend not interested in my church group

I have a wonderful boyfriend of 3 years whom I respect and care about. The first 9 months of our relationship he was not a believer, but would attend church with me every so often. We broke up for a few months and got back together after he became a Christian. I also have been part of a wonderful young adults group at my church for the past few years. It would mean alot to me if my boyfriend would join in the group with me, but so far, going on 2 years, he has not been interested in doing so. He will still come to church with me every so often, and he also has been in a different church group. Is there anything I can do to encourage him to have us be in a group together? It really bothers me that he hasnt so far and it seems like it could be years longer before he might. I really dont know what to do. Thanks for any advice.
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  #2  
Old 1st November 2009, 06:34 AM
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I don't think there's anything else you can do about it then talk about it with him. Ask him, why he's not interested and tell him how you feel about it. You're never going to come to a solution if you just beat around the bush. I hope you'll figure something out and solve all this. God bless!
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Rom.6:20-23 For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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  #3  
Old 1st November 2009, 08:39 AM
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Church groups should be varied so that a person feels comfortable in it. Young mens group adults age 18 to 35, adult mens all ages over 18. Young womens group age 18 to 35, womens group all ages over 18. Mixed men and women's group etc. Completing a group survey brochure or online about the person's personal interests and education level could decide the person's suitable one group or more.

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  #4  
Old 2nd November 2009, 05:26 PM
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why.....
my wife does a bunch of stuff at work ...sitting, talking, kids, grandkids, and very little that men are into ....

i write a newsletter, go and minister in jail, help kids financially...we both go to church together, she ends up in office and me in the prayer room, then sanctuary.....but we are both there being productive in our own way...
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  #5  
Old 2nd November 2009, 05:34 PM
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It would mean alot to me if my boyfriend would join in the group with me,
Give the guy a break, why is it sooo important to you that he attend this group? You say he comes to your church on occasion, sounds like he is doing this "for you". If it is a great young adults group then just enjoy it and leave him to his own choices. It seems after 2 years you would be able to accept his "polite" not interested response.
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  #6  
Old 2nd November 2009, 06:16 PM
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your boyfriend doesnt have to go to everything you go to...he might not want to go to your church group for his own personal reasons or feel that he can get " what he needs there" you are blessed that he still goes to church and a group on the side that he chooses...many men dont..period.
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  #7  
Old 5th November 2009, 09:58 AM
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If you go to different churches trouble is bound to happen sooner or later.
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  #8  
Old 5th November 2009, 04:51 PM
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It does sound like he is going for you. I can't image this lasting forever but eventually it will hit a wall. You should have a serious discussion with him. Again, is he just playing church for you? Why does he attend just occasionally?
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  #9  
Old 7th November 2009, 06:49 AM
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As above.
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  #10  
Old 7th November 2009, 09:19 AM
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As a guy who has gone to a church that my partner had already been going to I found I was often just treated as her partner rather than as an individual. It does not make you feel welcome and does not inspire one to attend. If you are keen to go to the same group then you both should change churches untill you find oe you can both be at.

So is it the group that makes him not want to attend? Is it part of his family background?Is it something different?
What did he say when you specifically expressed your desire to be attending the same group and you asked him to help you understand his reasons for not doing so? If you haven't done this then please please get off here and do so. There is every chance this is your issue that you need to work through and not his. Of course maybe he finds it hard and needs help or something else for him to work through. Hope all goes well and you both end up where God wants you to be.

suggested reading
boundaries books by Drs cloud & Townsend
Every mans marriage (for him to read)
Five Love Languages

These books help with getting to the heart of issues and are simple to read and scripturally sound.
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