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So recently I found myself in a situation where I have talked to a boy on the phone a lot in a "getting to know you" type of way.
In the beginning I was enjoying the exchange of information/conversation/etc. but then yesterday there was this weird like "it's been really good being able to get to know you" moment and now I am totally peaced out.
I don't want someone saying nice things to me like that or focusing a lot of energy on me or anything.
The thought of any of that - really the whole dating/infatuation thing - really made me want to throw up because I just don't want any part in that. I don't want to know boys weaknesses, I don't want to see a boy cry, I don't want to hear stupid boy voicemails.
I am broken! What is wrong with me!!!!!!!
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Dating is gross. Holding hands and kissing? No thanks!
In all seriousness, I think I know what you're getting at. Any relationship requires a certain level of vulnerability from both sides and it can be uncomfortable for everyone involved. Are you talking about how you don't want to be the center of someone's attention? I've felt like that before but maybe I'm totally wrong on this one.
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I'm not a trained shrink or anything, but from the sound of who your dad was when you were younger, that might have something to do with why you are repulsed by men.
if this is the case (no way to know) then there's a bright side. it could have had the opposite effect on you. you could have turned out to be a woman with loose morals.
others here seem more famliar with your situation step, I'll keep it in prayer. No thoughts, but I know there's been a few that I lost interest quickly. I took a break to get some other matters in my life settled.
The first thing that stood out to me was that you called him a "boy" lol. If he's anywhere near your age (24), he should be more like a man... also "stupid boy" is very high school freshman esque haha, so it just sounds like you need to find someone more mature who won't leave "stupid boy voicemails" lol. I know what you're getting at. You want something that goes a lot deeper than the floating hearts and the "Ahhhhh you're so beautiful, tell me it's official!" crap.
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I've grown tired of chasing
Convinced I was in need
And now the years I've spent, only a slave to this
I am broken! What is wrong with me!!!!!!!
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