I am not Christian.

The personal reasons:

1) I've never felt 'saved'. Christians say that if you are saved you *know* it for sure and I think it makes sense that you would. But I've never really felt like I was saved. Nor have I ever felt like I have a "personal relationship" with Christ.

Placing doubt in one's mind is what satan is good at. He get's alot of happiness and joy from keeping us detached from GOD.

Pray to GOD for a better personal relationship with him. Don't give up talking to GOD.

I can understand what you are going through here as I have had the same type of feelings in my life. I just refuse to give in to satan and I keep the door open to GOD.

1a) I've never been different as a Christian vs before I was baptized. My church had a testimony event where they asked each of us to think of how we were changed from before and after becoming Christian (and share it). I could not think of a single way that I was different before and after. My conclusion was that either being Christian doesn't really mean anything or I'm not a Christian.

Being a Christian isn't everything in life and feeling different doesn't always happen either.
Even though your Church meant well, sometimes there motives aren't in our best interests.
When it comes to sharing our feelings one can feel forced to say .. yes I feel different just to go along with the crowd. This can lead to confusion and resentment in the long run. It's possible even though you felt no difference, you could be feeling very confused with how this christian thing goes.

Ask GOD for guidance in your search.

2) I have sometimes loved my sin. Like everyone has, I had temptations as a Christian. Sometimes I did not give in but far too often, I sinned and (the most important part...), I gave in to it wilfully. I think a true Christian would always put up a struggle against sin even though they will sometimes lose the fiight. Sometimes I did not even try.

We all fall short of the glory.
Temptation is around us all the time. We are sinners saved by grace.
I don't care who you are, you will be tempted by something in life.

When you feel like giving into your temptations and you don't even try to turn away from them, is the time you need to address GOD and PRAY like you've never prayed before.
I realize that there will be days this might work and days it won't. You take the good with the bad and focus on the good days you were able to turn away from satans grasp.

From a theological standpoint:

1) I cannot in good conscience say that I believe the Bible is the Word of God. There are too many things I am unwilling to accept as true in it. I do not think a Christian can not believe in the Bible.

The question I think you need to answer is, do you want to be a Christian? A lot of people who are brought up as Christians later fall away, and are quite content to do so.
The fact that you are posting this here makes me feel that you don't want to lose your faith, but don't know how to believe any more.

I grew up in a Christian home. I "accepted" Christ at age 10. I do not think it was real though because I was rejecting God & church by my later teenager years. For a while in college I even said I was atheist (although I don't think I was).

I've tried to make Christianity work over the years since then. I was baptized again at 31. Sometimes I've considered myself to be Christian and it sort of worked but I've always felt conflicted with religion and I've always felt like I was not really a true Christian.

At 51, I find myself at a point where I have decided that I am not Christian, probably never have been one and likely never will be.

I've come to realize why I think so.. There are personal reasons (i.e. things about myself) and theological reasons why I decided I was not really Christian....

The personal reasons:

1) I've never felt 'saved'. Christians say that if you are saved you *know* it for sure and I think it makes sense that you would. But I've never really felt like I was saved. Nor have I ever felt like I have a "personal relationship" with Christ. yes, the Bible is in 1 John 5:13 says, "These things I have written to you, so that you may KNOW that you have eternal life." I love how it says you can know, that I don't have to doubt whether I'm going to Heaven or not. Salvation is not a feeling. Salvation is trusting in Jesus Christ as your savior, that He died on the cross for Your sins, and rose again after three days, asking Him to forgive you of your sins. sometimes, it is easy to feel like you are not, if you are walking in the flesh and not the spirit. a personal relationship is not just having a knowledge of God, it is really getting to know God.

1a) I've never been different as a Christian vs before I was baptized. My church had a testimony event where they asked each of us to think of how we were changed from before and after becoming Christian (and share it). I could not think of a single way that I was different before and after. My conclusion was that either being Christian doesn't really mean anything or I'm not a Christian. for about 6 years, even though I was a Christian, I couldn't think of a way I was different. In fact, it was worse. My life was plagued with self-injury, depression, and was living a life-style that wasn't something you would call a walk with God. and it is true. Christianity really doesn't mean anything if we have nothing to show for it.... yes, salvation is by grace alone, but to have had it and lived for myself was selfish.

2) I have sometimes loved my sin. Like everyone has, I had temptations as a Christian. Sometimes I did not give in but far too often, I sinned and (the most important part...), I gave in to it wilfully. I think a true Christian would always put up a struggle against sin even though they will sometimes lose the fiight. Sometimes I did not even try. I willfully gave into sin many times and loved it. these are things I look back and am convicted for now, but back then no. Even when I started going against sin, I wasn't convicted about it for a long time. I just started going against it, because I knew it grieved God when I sinned.

From a theological standpoint:

1) I cannot in good conscience say that I believe the Bible is the Word of God. There are too many things I am unwilling to accept as true in it. I do not think a Christian can not believe in the Bible. [b]yes, a Christian believes in the Bible as the Word of God and whatever it says, is true. if you like, here is a good website to research this a little more. ]Christians Home Page

Amen Criada. It all starts with do you believe in any Gods at all?