Why are so many people okay with divorce?

I'm not talking about in cases of abuse, neglect, drugs, etc. I'm talking about in terms of the normal ups and downs of life and the stages of relationships/life.

I for one was ready for divorce a number of years ago before a group of friends forced me to talk about what was going on and helped me through some difficult things. Since then, I have heard more and more stories where friends did the opposite of mine and were okay with people getting divorced rather than encouraging them to work on it.

I have even heard of more and more pastors saying that a couple should consider divorce, even if they have never talked to a marriage counselor or gone to a marriage retreat.

Why are many Christians okay with divorce today? Are there such things as irreconcilable differences or are most things in relationships reconcilable differences that take people working on themselves rather than working on their spouses? How does a Christian justify divorce as an option? Is all divorce a sin?

Honestly? We think it has a practical status we can work with, whether you're divorced or not.

I don't happen to agree ... in fact I've found divorce is a great trigger to questioning and rejecting a static moral stance. On the other hand it's also tough to get into a relationship and see the different perspectives, see who's treating whom in what ways, and assessing blame.

We like to not find fault. It's easier on us. Rather than saying "We're all wrong" and trying to spur people toward change, it's easier not to change people. People don't push back when we don't push forward.

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"... not an unconcerned sitting of God in heaven, from which He merely observes the things that are done in the world; but that all-active and all-concerned seatedness on His throne above, by which He governs the world which He Himself hath made." John Calvin
regeneration does not act in people as if they were blocks and stones; nor does it abolish the will and its properties or coerce a reluctant will by force, but spiritually revives, heals, reforms Canons of Dordt, 1.16


"Have I become your enemy by telling the truth?" Paul

And how should we express that we are NOT OK with divorce?

The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made [them] at the beginning made them male and female,
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. (Matthew 19:3-9)

Well, what constitutes "abuse," or less excusably, "neglect"? These are not clearly defined, and leave so much room for rationalizing. But that's what a lot of people claim.

Neglect can be worked with. Real abuse . . . I don't know. But I really do think that people should go through counseling before they get their divorces. That would weed out a lot of the crap excuses.

__________________
Every word of God is flawless; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.
Do not add to His words, or He will rebuke you and prove you a liar.
- Proverbs 30:5-6

Sovereignty is not racism.

It becomes a cultural norm. When over half the marriages end up in divorces it is no longer viewed with shame. We must remember most people judge based on cultural perception rather than Christian view(though both are one and the same many times).

It is the same with premarital sex.

__________________
"I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen; not only because I see it, but by it I see everything else."

C.S. Lewis


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Deo duce, ferro comitante
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God hates divorce.

Malachi 2:16
16 “I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

There are more reasons, but to answer the OP with a bottom line point: most people (believers included) are too worldly and too selfish. Divorce is a symptom of selfishness. And rather than lose congregants, votes, popularity, friends, etc. divorce had to be accomodated.

I am 48, when I was a child divorce was looked down upon and divorcees were like adulterers. Then it became the court of last resort, then the abuse excuse, then the "till something better comes along" it is today.

I think that a significant part of this comes not only from how we view divorce, but how we view marriage as a whole. We enter it flippantly, act selfishly while we're in it, and tolerate it ending.

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I was glad because of them that said unto me: Let us go into the house of the Lord.
-Ps 121:1 (LXX)



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Originally Posted by caman

I'm not talking about in cases of abuse, neglect, drugs, etc. I'm talking about in terms of the normal ups and downs of life and the stages of relationships/life.

I for one was ready for divorce a number of years ago before a group of friends forced me to talk about what was going on and helped me through some difficult things. Since then, I have heard more and more stories where friends did the opposite of mine and were okay with people getting divorced rather than encouraging them to work on it.

I have even heard of more and more pastors saying that a couple should consider divorce, even if they have never talked to a marriage counselor or gone to a marriage retreat.

Why are many Christians okay with divorce today? Are there such things as irreconcilable differences or are most things in relationships reconcilable differences that take people working on themselves rather than working on their spouses? How does a Christian justify divorce as an option? Is all divorce a sin?

Values people hold these days, are just different now I guess. Doesn't make it right, but that's how it seems to be. I'm around two people at work that are contemplating or in the process of divorcing. I've done my best to tell them to slow it down and take some time to figure things out, and I just get blown off or looked at wierd. I don't know. It's just too accepted in today's culture.

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Above all arguments or thoughts, love wins. My only answer to the world, about myself, is I am not perfect. I don't have all the answers. I can love the hell out of you though.


It's my honest belief that, in this day and age, Jesus would have been a biker dude. Feel free to ask me why.

It sounds like, soup to nuts, we don't really understand marriage even on human terms.

__________________
"... not an unconcerned sitting of God in heaven, from which He merely observes the things that are done in the world; but that all-active and all-concerned seatedness on His throne above, by which He governs the world which He Himself hath made." John Calvin
regeneration does not act in people as if they were blocks and stones; nor does it abolish the will and its properties or coerce a reluctant will by force, but spiritually revives, heals, reforms Canons of Dordt, 1.16


"Have I become your enemy by telling the truth?" Paul