Why are so many people okay with divorce?

God hates divorce.

Malachi 2:16
16 “I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

There are more reasons, but to answer the OP with a bottom line point: most people (believers included) are too worldly and too selfish. Divorce is a symptom of selfishness. And rather than lose congregants, votes, popularity, friends, etc. divorce had to be accomodated.

I am 48, when I was a child divorce was looked down upon and divorcees were like adulterers. Then it became the court of last resort, then the abuse excuse, then the "till something better comes along" it is today.

I'm not talking about in cases of abuse, neglect, drugs, etc. I'm talking about in terms of the normal ups and downs of life and the stages of relationships/life.

I for one was ready for divorce a number of years ago before a group of friends forced me to talk about what was going on and helped me through some difficult things. Since then, I have heard more and more stories where friends did the opposite of mine and were okay with people getting divorced rather than encouraging them to work on it.

I have even heard of more and more pastors saying that a couple should consider divorce, even if they have never talked to a marriage counselor or gone to a marriage retreat.

Why are many Christians okay with divorce today? Are there such things as irreconcilable differences or are most things in relationships reconcilable differences that take people working on themselves rather than working on their spouses? How does a Christian justify divorce as an option? Is all divorce a sin?

Well, what constitutes "abuse," or less excusably, "neglect"? These are not clearly defined, and leave so much room for rationalizing. But that's what a lot of people claim.

Neglect can be worked with. Real abuse . . . I don't know. But I really do think that people should go through counseling before they get their divorces. That would weed out a lot of the crap excuses.

Are we being serious here?

As someone who has been witness to abuse happening in marriages, I get a little angry when I see people sitting questioning the validity of abuse which has been substantiated, or neglect which has been substantiated.

I have a family friend whose husband left her bloody after he was done with her, and then cared less about her when it came to trying to heal what was left of their marriage. The man did not give a hoot about her in anyway, and she was the one struggling to allow healing in their relationship.

I have a relative who abused his wife and did not want to change his behavior even though my other relatives intervened and tried to offer him help. This man was so out of control when he was drunk, he started abusing his own child in public without consequence. It got to the point where finally, his wife left taking their child with her.

I also have an old high school friend whose dad was sexually molesting her for years and she hid it from her mother. Finally when her mother did find out, she told her dad that either get help, or leave them alone. The father was unwilling to stop raping his daughter. According to my friend, her father said that he would rather have sex with his own daughter than with her mother. After realizing that the man really was very sick and would not willingly get help, my friend's mother sought a divorce and had full custody. Thank goodness her mother didn't just sit around and pretend like nothing was happening.

Oh man...I could seriously go off all day about how people question abuse. That's the main reason why I don't talk about the abuse that happened between my family, because people always say "well what constitutes child abuse?" Being beat to a bloody pulp does, DUH. Same thing with partner abuse and marital abuse. You can't make a person go to counseling with you or without you. If they're that unwilling to go, what says they are willing to make a genuine change in their behavior?

How in the world are actual cases of neglect and abuse "crap excuses"? As someone who has experienced abuse, I would in no way judge someone who wanted a divorce right away because of abuse. IMO, abusers don't want to truly change...they just hold back on what they really want to do. It's one thing for a spouse to say "oh man, I shouldn't have hit/beat/abused my wife/husband like that, I completely messed up and need help", versus the person who claims with full confidence that they never did anything wrong.

The examples you gave are clear-cut examples of abuse, no question. What I'm calling questionable is much more mild, such as yelling at your spouse. Not that it's right, but I'm sorry that is not in the same league as what you mentioned. Yet, in some minds that passes for abuse. It seems as though people are looking to expand what is perceived as abuse, rather than keeping it to the real abuse, such as the examples you mentioned. When I think of abuse, I think of stuff like beatings, sexual abuse, starving, burning, throwing things, and so forth. What some other people think of abuse would be yelling and pounding the table. It's a joke and the more liberal definition can be a total discredit to the real abuse that is going on. While none of it is right, one level of indiscretions can be worked with because nobody's in danger. You can't say that about the next level.