Deep-seated anger

RoyWM · #1 24th October 2009, 11:49 AM

I know of this older lady with three daughters, but I believe she hates the oldest one. It seems that the situation came to a head some years before when her oldest daughter came to visit her with her husband and young children. They stayed for two days during which time the daughter endured the verbal abuse of her stepfather.

Some years before, when the daughter was a teenager, this stepfather had made thinly-veiled sexual advances to the daughter. She had told her mother at the time but was rebuked by the mother as a liar. Eventually when the daughter was 17 she moved out to get away from the stepfather and her unsupportive mother.

Indeed, the visit with her mother seemed uncomfortable from the beginning and a certain mistake. Soon after they arrived the stepfather threw a visible rage, saying there was no room for her family in the house. This was spoken to the daughter even though she and her family had driven 1500 miles over three days for the sole reason of visiting them. He finally agreed that they could stay for the week. Yet over the next day or so he continued to make insults to his stepdaughter and remarks about her family and children.

Furthermore, the mother reinforced this rotten attitude when she revealed that she never wanted to be a grandmother anyway because she didn't want to babysit someone else's kids. This seemed an ironic statement considering the 1500 miles that had separated their respective homes for several years. During all of the verbal abuse the young woman said nothing, seeming to be afraid of a confrontation with the stepfather and mother. Perhaps she had endured thus silently from her childhood, for it was obvious to her husband that it was a barrier she had never overcome.

The husband of the young woman decided he had enough of this treatment of his family so he asked the stepfather why he hated his daughter and why he was behaving in such disgusting manner. The stepfather replied that hated her because she had never respected him. The husband replied, "does that excuse your own immature behavior now considering the fact she was just a child when she lived with you?" The stepfather then became enraged at the daughter's husband and ordered the daughter and her family out of his house. This he did with extremely nasty language directed at the family and also his wife for letting them in the home. The daughter's husband wanted to pound the stepfather into the ground, but instead he said to his wife, "Let's get the hell out of here!".

They gathered their things and prepared to leave. The mother encouraged them to leave as well with a reminder that her own husband came first. As they walked out the door the husband turned to the mother-in-law and said, "You have chosen this jerk over your own daughter. Do you realize that we drove all this way at great sacrifice just to see you? And you consider it worth nothing and turn your own daughter away for this abusive husband?". She only shrugged in reply.

That was fifteen years ago and the mother has not spoken to her daughter since that day. The daughter has heard over the intervening years from her sisters that her mother still resents her and wants nothing more to do with her.

"Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil." (Ephesians 4:26,27)

“If you hope to find your heart's desire, you must look first in your heart; To get to the end of any road, you have to start at the start.” (James Dillet Freeman)

“The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)

peacechild4 · #2 25th October 2009, 03:36 AM

FATHER GOD thank YOU that the answer to this family is YOU.. LORD I lift this family to YOU for healing.. the healing they need.. each one separately.. LORD thank YOU that as I pray it is heard by YOU in the very throne room in heaven.. THANK YOU.. I believe for YOU to work in them all and thank YOU for the joy to leave this with YOU.. LORD for healing.. restoration.. and YOUR presence to change this family and unite them through YOUR SPIRIT.. I ask this through JESUS name.. amen

RoyWM · #3 27th October 2009, 08:32 PM

Originally Posted by peacechild4

FATHER GOD thank YOU that the answer to this family is YOU.. LORD I lift this family to YOU for healing.. the healing they need.. each one separately.. LORD thank YOU that as I pray it is heard by YOU in the very throne room in heaven.. THANK YOU.. I believe for YOU to work in them all and thank YOU for the joy to leave this with YOU.. LORD for healing.. restoration.. and YOUR presence to change this family and unite them through YOUR SPIRIT.. I ask this through JESUS name.. amen

Thank you for those prayers,

I confess that the daughter is my wife and she needs healing for this great wrong that has been done to her. Her mother has also cut her out of her will and left everything to her two sisters.

I have been blessed to have a wonderful loving mother and father. My wife did not have that.

peacechild4 · #4 27th October 2009, 08:41 PM

This kind of thing is impossible in our strength to do.. but in CHRIST it is possible.. I will pray that there is complete forgiveness for wrongs done.. and that the grace and mercy of the LORD sets free those who have done wrong so that they too can be free to admit wrongs and find healing and hope.. I know it is terribly hard to forgive when so much damage has been done.. but it frees us to experience GODS healing and HIS forgiveness too.. which is greater then any wrong we have suffered..

How great also the burden someone must carry that has wronged others.. they need much love and grace from GOD.. to admit mistakes and own up to their actions..

I just praise GOD that HIS love and mercy is for the greatest sinner.. and will pardon and heal our mistakes and wrongs.. and heal our wounds...

RoyWM · #5 1st November 2009, 09:00 AM

Originally Posted by peacechild4

This kind of thing is impossible in our strength to do.. but in CHRIST it is possible.. I will pray that there is complete forgiveness for wrongs done.. and that the grace and mercy of the LORD sets free those who have done wrong so that they too can be free to admit wrongs and find healing and hope.. I know it is terribly hard to forgive when so much damage has been done.. but it frees us to experience GODS healing and HIS forgiveness too.. which is greater then any wrong we have suffered..

How great also the burden someone must carry that has wronged others.. they need much love and grace from GOD.. to admit mistakes and own up to their actions..

I just praise GOD that HIS love and mercy is for the greatest sinner.. and will pardon and heal our mistakes and wrongs.. and heal our wounds...

Thank you for your prayers. My wife does need the healing and I think her trip to Arizona to spend time with her sisters helped a lot in getting over some of the bitterness of what her mother did to her.

It is sad that the mother died recently without ever reconciling with her daughter (My wife). I wonder about that and how God will deal with her for her unforgiveness and the damage she did to her own daughter. The fact that she wrote my wife out of her will indicates that she never relented from what she had done. I just wonder though what will happen to the mother in Eternity.

peacechild4 · #6 3rd November 2009, 07:51 AM

There is a place between death and eternity.. I believe the LORD would give everyone a chance to come to HIM for all things.. Ask the LORD for peace concerning these things that you wonder about.. When we pray for healing.. the LORD always heals.. HE wants it too.. What the devil steals from us.. the LORD can heal and bring good out of it.. God bless you for loving and being concerned for your loved ones..

RoyWM · #7 8th November 2009, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by peacechild4

There is a place between death and eternity.. I believe the LORD would give everyone a chance to come to HIM for all things.. Ask the LORD for peace concerning these things that you wonder about.. When we pray for healing.. the LORD always heals.. HE wants it too.. What the devil steals from us.. the LORD can heal and bring good out of it.. God bless you for loving and being concerned for your loved ones..

Perhaps so and I do hope she shall see her mother again. The Scriptures would indicate perhaps not.

bluelime2 · #8 10th December 2009, 07:19 AM

The mother behaved wickedly. We reap what we sow. I think it's a blessing that your wife never reconciled. When a person is that bitter and nasty then it's safer for the victim to stay away in my opinion unless God directly leads you into reconciliation.

I think sometimes that too many people can assume that all parents love their children and really will ultimatly do the best for them when it comes down to it. But that's simply untrue. Some people are too selfish and hard to genuinely love anybody, let alone their kids and will actually pick out a child (or more) and try to destroy them. Once you start seeing it, you'll be suprised at how often it can come up.

All parents don't love their kids. Some really couldn't care less and others can view them as handy possessions. Others as punching bags. Abuse is abuse. Get as far away from it as you can in my opinon unless led otherwise by God himself.

It can be much easier to work through forgiveness from a safe distance sometimes too. (Which can take years in some cases, just support your wife as she walks through it.)

servant of Merciful Love · #9 21st December 2009, 04:58 PM

Praying for you and your wife ~

RoyWM · #10 26th December 2009, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by bluelime2

The mother behaved wickedly. We reap what we sow. I think it's a blessing that your wife never reconciled. When a person is that bitter and nasty then it's safer for the victim to stay away in my opinion unless God directly leads you into reconciliation.

I think sometimes that too many people can assume that all parents love their children and really will ultimatly do the best for them when it comes down to it. But that's simply untrue. Some people are too selfish and hard to genuinely love anybody, let alone their kids and will actually pick out a child (or more) and try to destroy them. Once you start seeing it, you'll be suprised at how often it can come up.

All parents don't love their kids. Some really couldn't care less and others can view them as handy possessions. Others as punching bags. Abuse is abuse. Get as far away from it as you can in my opinon unless led otherwise by God himself.

It can be much easier to work through forgiveness from a safe distance sometimes too. (Which can take years in some cases, just support your wife as she walks through it.)

I always do support her through every terrible thing has happened to her over these 30+ years of marriage. We have been faithful to each other, we have endured harsh times and yet we retain something of ourselves.