Girlfriend issues

epistemaniac · #11 31st October 2009, 11:48 PM

Originally Posted by Citanul

But what does "unequally yoked" actually mean? I can see how it could apply to marriage, but it could also apply in other contexts such as business dealings or basic friendship. I think it's just too vague a phrase to use it as an outright restriction the way it is.

And what if two non-believers are married and one becomes a Christian? Would that also be a case of being "unequally yoked"? Or in order to prevent the unequal yoking, should they not have converted in the first place?

For a Christian and a non-believer to be in a relationship is possible, however there are going to be issues that arise because of the different beliefs. However, while dealing with these issues may be difficult, they're not necessarily insurmountable.

Marriage between a believer and unbeliever would certainly be a legitimate application of the command. —The IVP New Testament Commentary Series

It is common for Christians to apply Paul's instruction here to marriages and close business associations between believers and unbelievers. Paul taught against marrying outside the faith, and wisdom should be exercised in all business relationships.
—Holman New Testament Commentary

"Do not be unevenly yoked with unbelievers." At first glance, this directive seems to refer to the marriage of a believer and an unbeliever or to two such partners in business. But the context indicates that this interpretation is implicit, not explicit.—Baker New Testament Commentary

But… it is implicit…. The passage does teach against associations in other ways, but believers should not be joined together with unbelievers.

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And what if two non-believers are married and one becomes a Christian? Would that also be a case of being "unequally yoked"? Or in order to prevent the unequal yoking, should they not have converted in the first place?

1Co 7:12-20 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. (13) If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. (14) For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (15) But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called youto peace. (16) Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife? (17) Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. (18) Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. (19) For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God. (20) Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called."

of course it is true that if a believer and unbeliever are married there will be difficulties, and that is the point, these difficulties (that arise from one being a Christian and the other not) would not arise if they were both believers, marriage is hard enough with 2 believers!!!

blessings,
ken

Archivist · #12 1st November 2009, 09:28 PM

Originally Posted by Godschild87

She likely isn't a Christian and might be going to be with you, and for people who are not very firm in their faith, this can drag down your faith.

I don't think that you know enough about this individual to make such a statement. Yes, she appears to be liberal in at least some of her views based on what we have been told in this thread. That doesn't not mean that she is not a Christian. Many devout Christians have liberal views.

Jaws13 · #13 1st November 2009, 10:51 PM

Originally Posted by Archivist

I don't think that you know enough about this individual to make such a statement. Yes, she appears to be liberal in at least some of her views based on what we have been told in this thread. That doesn't not mean that she is not a Christian. Many devout Christians have liberal views.

Come now, you really think I'm trying to say she's not Christian because she's liberal? I'm a moderate for Pete's sake.

Citanul · #14 2nd November 2009, 04:38 AM

Originally Posted by Godschild87

Really? "The Bible's too vague, let's ignore it." Is that your argument?

I'm not saying that it should be ignored. Rather I'm looking to understand what the phrase actually means.

There's no explanation in that passage as to what being yoked means, let alone what an unequal yoking entails. As I said, I can see how it can be applied to marriage, but most of the time it seems only to be applied to marriage, and not to any other situation which could be just as valid, and possibly even the main focus of the instruction.

Paul covers this in his first letter to the Corinthians:
1Co 7:9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1Co 7:10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband
1Co 7:11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
1Co 7:12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.
1Co 7:13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
1Co 7:15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.
1Co 7:16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
1Co 7:17 Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches.

But that still doesn't change the fact that there would be an unequal yoking (if marriage to a non-believer is that), something which Paul told the same people not to do.

Jaws13 · #15 2nd November 2009, 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by Citanul

I'm not saying that it should be ignored. Rather I'm looking to understand what the phrase actually means.

It's generally helpful to NOT make assertions about that which you're questioning.

There's no explanation in that passage as to what being yoked means, let alone what an unequal yoking entails. As I said, I can see how it can be applied to marriage, but most of the time it seems only to be applied to marriage, and not to any other situation which could be just as valid, and possibly even the main focus of the instruction.

Are you familiar with lexicons? Dictionaries? Commentaries? I gave you an explanation from the Greek.

But that still doesn't change the fact that there would be an unequal yoking (if marriage to a non-believer is that), something which Paul told the same people not to do.

What, so the two contradict?

Let me give you a quick Bible lesson. The Bible is very symbolic in much of its content. John 3, 10, 15, and most of Revelation is a good example of this. Folks in that day did not see the two commands you reference and think, 'oh, Paul isn't clear on what to do here'. It's very clear. His first command is that if one is married and the two are willing to be together, stay together, for the sake of the unbelieving partner and any kids they have. Is second is to not be unequally yoked: the Corinthians were very messed up people. They found it a good idea to interact with people who claimed Christ's name yet practiced immorality, sometimes a result of the companionship people held. So Paul gave them the command to not be unequally yoked. That doesn't mean the two contradict each other, it means that they compliment each other. If you're not already in the situation Paul references it 1 Cor. 7, then don't get into that situation either in marriage or in any way put yourself in a position where you have to rely on essential wisdom and support from someone who is not Christian. That's plain and simple.

plmarquette · #16 2nd November 2009, 03:14 PM

behavior produces results......
bungee jumping, sky diving, smoking, drinking, injecting drugs.....
sexual life style, std's....

all we can do is suggest a viable alternative, in love, then pray at a
safe distance.....

SpiritDriven · #17 21st November 2009, 02:52 AM

Edited by me

SpiritDriven · #18 21st November 2009, 02:59 AM

Originally Posted by Bucs1

Hello all, Im a newbie to this forum (first post) and it looks great from what I have seen! But I have been having issues recently with my girlfriend and our differnet belief's/views. First I would like to say that I love her with all of my heart and know that she is a great person. She doesnt admit to being a Christian, but she does like to go to church and is very open minded of my views. With that said, we have been discussing our beliefs recently and last night, it lead to a very "casual" arguement. She has several gay friends and is very pro-gay. She has been questioning me and my beliefs and all I have been trying to answer is that I dont believe in it, but I have nothing against it. So she kept questioning me and so I reffered to scripture. Well, this only made things harder as I reffered to; Leviticus 18v22 and another one, which I can't remember right now, that punishes homosexuality with death! And that one was a real kicker...it upset her to say the least. I really didnt know what else to say, so I quickly changed the subject but there was an unspoken tension between us the rest of the night. My question is; is it tolerable and righteous to love someone like this that I do? I could write pages of our disscussions of late, but I will try to keep this as short as I can. I know this will be brought up again soon and would like to hear any opionions/advice on what to do or say the next time. Thanks for reading.

Your not compatable.....She is obviousley into Love of her fellow human beings (Jesus: Love one another as I have Loved you) she sounds terrific, not judging others...a Grace filled Woman.

Actualy she acts like a true follower of Jesus would.....you on the other hand remind of those pharisees, who slapped our Lord around and spat in his face as they sat in Judgement of him.

You want truth.....you just got it.

The Christian Pharisees of Today are a hard nosed lot high to low....sons of perdition far worse than the Pharisees of Jesus day.

Legalism will suck the life out of any freindship you had with her....sounds like your in big trouble with her already.

Actualy I get the feeling that God is going to teach you a lesson with this Woman....that you will not soon forget.

She sounds way too nice for you....

catzrfluffy · #19 21st November 2009, 02:25 PM

Originally Posted by SpiritDriven

Your not compatable.....She is obviousley into Love of her fellow human beings (Jesus: Love one another as I have Loved you) she sounds terrific, not judging others...a Grace filled Woman.

Actualy she acts like a true follower of Jesus would.....you on the other hand remind of those pharisees, who slapped our Lord around and spat in his face as they sat in Judgement of him.

You want truth.....you just got it.

The Christian Pharisees of Today are a hard nosed lot high to low....sons of perdition far worse than the Pharisees of Jesus day.

Legalism will suck the life out of any freindship you had with her....sounds like your in big trouble with her already.

Actualy I get the feeling that God is going to teach you a lesson with this Woman....that you will not soon forget.

She sounds way too nice for you....

Please, "bless and do not curse." (Romans 12:14)

SpiritDriven · #20 21st November 2009, 05:12 PM

Catzrfluffy.....
If you really want to help this young man somebody needs to speak the truth boldly.....it is the best blessing anybody could give him.

Only Pharisees refer to the Law.....the Law kills.....there is no life to be found in the Law....only condemnation and death!

The sole and only purpose of the Law is to bring men to the relisation that they are under a curse and condemend to death by it, only then do they recognise that Jesus is their only hope....and so turn to him.

That is the sole Purpose of the Law, the Law was never intended to keep anybody in line, only one person who ever lived full filled the Law, and he was cursed and Nailed to a Cross for it.

If you defer to the Law, yourself and everything you have comes under a curse, and is condemend to Death.

He is seeing the first signs of that in his own life, starting with this Woman.

He needs to know that he must immediatly turn away from the Law.... to Christ Alone, and never ever refer to the Law again.

He should follow her lead.....she acts more like a follower of Jesus than he is.....

Peace.

The Ministry of the Law is a Ministry of Condemnation and death to all those who seek Justification under the Law.

The Ministry of Righteousness, the Glory of Christ that surpasses the Law !