I feel hopeless...

Hey Christians,

My Name is David, and I have been feeling rejected/cutoff from god. I was saved at four but at around five or six we stopped going to church/reading the bible so I considered myself a christian yet sinning majorly growing up.

I had a car accident at 20 years old, I was messed up on drugs and decided to drive around (very stupid idea) and by the grace of god I stepped out of a car wreck 100 mph hitting a divider on the highway. God Saved not just me but anyone else on the highway that night.

It was immediate that I knew god had saved me, and nothing else..

I went to church but due to depression of not really having any friends to hang out with I started to fall off the wagon again and called up my old friends. (non christian friends) They believed in that zeitgiest garbage and I believed it too for a time).

Wanting friendship I was quick to say yeah I don't believe in god again and started to sin. I did this maybe three times coming back and forth repenting to god.

I did LSD (a drug, stay away from it) again thinking it would help me meditate on god, but I just hurt my temple even more and felt worse..

I started to go to church, but after reading about the unforgivable sin I was plagued with the idea that I had done this, I kept thinking I am going to hell over and over.

Having a chat with my pastor I felt better thinking I didn't commit the unforgivable sin but I kept on sinning with the same sin of masturbation and looking at internet pornography I would think man I am going to hell for this... no I'm not.. but did It anyway.

I had thoughts like, god will forgive me for this and did things anyway. I know I mocked and God.

I just kept on feeling hopeless and thinking about eternal punishment and I started to get really mad at God for no reason. I started to think evil wicked blasphemous thoughts that just wouldn't leave my head and I uttered a few of them.. So I kept on going on this think bad thought, repent, think bad thought, repent cycle.

I mocked god and feel utterly shameful about how I used his grace and mercy and slandered his name. I lost my love for him and just felt cut off from god.

I now have the worst anxiety in the world thinking about eternal damnation. I just wish god would tell me if I am alright or not. I do not want to live if there is zero hope left.

I have broken his commandants so many times its ridiculous to count. Living the life of a thief and a liar I have repented but I don't feel saved anymore.

Is there hope? I keep praying but I do not get an answer back, I keep repenting so much.

I keep on reading Galations 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

And I feel that is what has happened to me, have I sowed my place into hell?

Please take heart in what I have typed, do not go down the same path as me...

So is there hope? Will God forgive me? I have played him for a fool and I have apologized profusely because I know he is GOD and not a fool. I am just a worthless piece of crap.

-
David

Your not alone, in fact for a minute I had to double check the creator of this thread to make sure it wasnt something that I wrote.

I know what your going through as I am going through the same exact thing. I have a lot that I would like to talk to you about but at the moment I am busy so I will have to check back with you later.

Dont give up hope in God, that will be your worst mistake ever.

Psalm 42

***I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin."*** - Mark 3:28-29

Clearly you haven't completely and utterly rejected the Holy Spirit of God. If you had you'd not be seeking to get right with God.

***Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day."*** - John 6:35-40

You didn't come to Christ of your own free volition. The Father presented you as a bride to the Son. He will never drive you away or give you over to darkness. That doesn't mean you'll be sinless, or perfect in this life.

You were forgiven from the foundations of the world. Why are you apologizing profusely? Are you that one sinner who has sinned so greatly that on top of Jesus Christ being slaughtered to buy your salvation you need to add some apologies to it in order to make it payment enough?

No, God is not a fool and since we know fools don't make pieces of crap why are you calling yourself that? Do you believe that if you denigrate and degrade yourself enough in God's eyes He'll have mercy on you? His wrath was poured out on the cross the only thing He has left for His children is mercy. Stop begging for it. You already have it.

Receive it.
Live it.

***The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.*** - Psalm 34:7-9

Hello David,First let me say that I have raised 4 sons myself and I remember that at the age of 4 salvation wasn't something that they had any knowledge of of really cared. Unless you had a full understanding of what sin was wiser than 99 percent of most 4 year olds of this world then you were not at the age of accountability. God did not hold you responsible for the things that you did. However when you came of age and the knowledge of right and wrong could be understood by you, and the grasping of faith in God was possible, then you became responsible for accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior to receive salvation from your sins.Always remember we were all once sinners saved by God's Grace. What ever happen to you up to this point God will forgive you. What you need to do if you are truely ready to live your life for Christ is:Attend your church, if you have one, Go to your pastor or anyone of faith that you know and ask them to pray with you "the Prayer of Salvation". Give your life to Christ. The Blood of Jesus will cleanse you of all sins that you have ever committed and He will remember them no more. You will become a new creation in Christ Jesus.2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."My beloved brother if you don't want to wait now is the acceptable time for salvation. Simply pray this prayer with me:"Father, I know that I have broken your laws and my sins have separated me from you. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward you. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.”My brother if you prayed this prayer and repented of your sins and you received Jesus Christ today, welcome to God's family. Now, as a way to grow closer to Him, the Bible tells us to follow up on our commitment.Get baptized as commanded by Christ.Tell someone else about your new faith in Christ.Spend time with God each day. It does not have to be a long period of time. Just develop the daily habit of praying to Him and reading His Word. Ask God to increase your faith and your understanding of the Bible.Seek fellowship with other followers of Jesus. Develop a group of believing friends to answer your questions and support you.Find a local church where you can worship God.God loves you my brother and so do I. Live for Him and let Him guide you to become a better man and servant for our Christian Faith.In Jesus Name...Amen

Let me assure you that yes, you are a worthless piece of crap. That is why Christ died. To save worthless pieces of crap. That's the gospel. Christ died for the forgiveness of sins, according to the scriptures. He was buried. He rose from the dead on the third day, according to the scriptures.

The gospel is power for those who are being saved. That is where your focus should lie: squarely on the cross. Focus on what Christ has done, and let Him deal with the rest.

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"We are like dwarfs sitting on the shoulders of giants. We see more, and things that are more distant, than they did, not because our sight is superior or because we are taller than they, but because they raise us up, and by their great stature add to ours." John of Salisbury, 1159

As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

Father's Love Letter Stores

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The Bible states that those who fornicate (living that lifestyle) will not inherit the Kingdom of God be it between homosexuals or men and woman who are not married. (Gal 5:19-21).
Again, I urge anyone who supports homosexual marriage to repent of their sin.

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. I hope that you will watch this short powerful skit. I think that it will answer your question.

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Peter denied Christ 3 times - he was not lost.You just need to ask forgiveness, repent, ask Jesus to fill you with His Holy Spirit and put all the other thoughts out of your head - grab hold of the Hand of Jesus and walk with Him, Pray with Him, He is your friend.All the other thoughts are from the enemy to make you lose hope.Don't give the enemy that much delight to believe his lies - move on - Jesus has work for you to do and as long as you believe the lies of the enemy, God will not use you - believe the Bible and the words of Jesus and see what Peter accomplished after denying Jesus 3 times.When you feel disconnected with Jesus - it is you that has moved away - Jesus never moves - He is always there arms out waiting for you - just latch on and be the light that Jesus wants you to be and show the Joy of the Lord.

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Be Blessed

"For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners". Matthew 9:13b, NLT.

Lethargic,

God loves you with an everlasting love. He has not left you. He is always waiting with open arms for you to turn back to him, if you are willing, despite the struggles, sins, heartaches you have been through. You may feel like you have no hope, but that is a lie from the enemy of our souls. Where there is life, there is hope. Continue to cry out to Jesus, no matter what you feel. Don't trust your feelings, trust God's words which tells you that he is full of mercy and love for you. Even when you fall, ask forgiveness and get back up again (no matter how many times). Don't give up on God, because he won't give up on you.

I'll be praying for you.