Social Anxiety

bomichaels · #1 13th October 2009, 09:23 PM

Does anyone else struggle with Social Anxiety? When I'm out in public I'm not sure how I should act? I went to the gym today and I'm constantly wondering what others think of me. I don't even want to talk or look at anyone out of fear of looking like a fool. The thought of talking to others scares me since I might mess up the conversation. I wish I could just be at the normal line where everyone else is. I hate that being Bipolar creates so many other sub-problems. Where does the Bipolar end and myself as a person begins? I'm frightened because I can't seem to know the difference.

Please don't advise with Scripture and how God loves me. I know that and I've read the bible over many times. I know my place with God and salvation. I know He loves me and will get me through. However, even Paul needed companions to talk with and work out his suffering and doubt. Sometimes people have to live with thorns until their dead too.

Please only respond with your personal struggles with this and how you cope practically. Thanks.

locket77 · #2 13th October 2009, 10:26 PM

hey im new here and just read your post, I know exactly how you feel, i have been there myself and had a lot of rejection because i have let my anxiety rule, i left church for 4 years because I could nt socialize properly that was before i was medicated. In that four years i had alot of healing in this area, for some reason i met someone in that time that could deal with me being so screwed up and i just had to socialize with him and primerily his mom, it was horrendouse my mind was just filled with fear and anxiety i jsut thought that i must come across so crazy, but for some reason they accepted me it took me four years to build a relationship were i now feel comfortable but it really took me massively out of my comfort zone, in that time period i got medicated and feel alot more in control now but then i really didnt, i was just expecting rejection, because my emotions were so out of control. I dont think i delt with it very well but i did have support and i could talk through my paranoia about what people must think of me, until i realized it was rubbish, it took quite a few years but im better not perfect but more easily able to deal with what i think because i have a more positive basis now of how i feel and think about myself, it has helped majorly being treated. I have recently returned to the church and what i have learned is being severley tested and im very scared and pray inside my head when i speak to people that i wont mess it up, im socially inadequate, and i can be nervouse but sometimes im not and the more i do it the better im gonna get, i hope its very scarey and vulnerable but i felt like god told me to go back, so im trusting him that i can do it. I hope this helps.

Soulwings · #3 14th October 2009, 08:11 AM

Hey there... you sound a lot like me, or how I used to be a few years ago. I have social anxiety as well, and am on meds for it (Neurontin [gabapentin] and Klonopin [clonazepam]) which help a lot. However, a few years back I was not diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and struggled a lot with being the shyest kid in my department (I'm a 6th year college senior

so that would've been when I was a freshie/soph). I still have difficulty in striking up conversations with people, but it's easier now that I have meds and am a little more in control of my life - when I was a freshman/sophomore things were really bad for me; I had an out-of-control eating disorder, hadn't been treated much for bipolar (hadn't even been diagnosed yet), was self injuring a lot, nearly every day... the list goes on. Now I've been in therapy for 4+ years and have been treated in many different ways for my illness(es) (meds, ECT, hospitalizations, therapy, and a residential center for my ED), and feel more in control of my life and how I function than I did then.

I hope I'm making some sense here, because I feel like I'm just rambling.

In sum, I think a large part of it was me feeling out of control of my life... and also, in between then and now, I met and got to know the man who is now my husband really well, and he encouraged me and supported me through my ups and downs. He is really an amazing guy... refuses to leave me even though I know his life would be MUCH easier without living with a bipolar woman who struggles with self hatred to the extent I do!! But thankfully he and I both believe that marriage = forever.

So I don't need to get anxious about that. Haha. But back to the question... I think that that (self hatred) also plays a part in social anxiety... I hate myself so much, think I'm such an awful person, that I expect other people to think the same thing, so I don't even want to risk getting to know them. Does that make sense?

Anyway, God bless you, friend, and I will be praying for you. Feel free to stop by the coffee shop thread - that's where most of the fellowshipping gets done here on this board, and there is a group of wonderful and accepting people there.

Take care of yourself.

Biker Angel · #4 14th October 2009, 12:57 PM

Originally Posted by bomichaels

Does anyone else struggle with Social Anxiety? When I'm out in public I'm not sure how I should act? I went to the gym today and I'm constantly wondering what others think of me. I don't even want to talk or look at anyone out of fear of looking like a fool. The thought of talking to others scares me since I might mess up the conversation. I wish I could just be at the normal line where everyone else is. I hate that being Bipolar creates so many other sub-problems. Where does the Bipolar end and myself as a person begins? I'm frightened because I can't seem to know the difference.

Please don't advise with Scripture and how God loves me. I know that and I've read the bible over many times. I know my place with God and salvation. I know He loves me and will get me through. However, even Paul needed companions to talk with and work out his suffering and doubt. Sometimes people have to live with thorns until their dead too.

Please only respond with your personal struggles with this and how you cope practically. Thanks.

Hey brother, I wrote a long thing to you yesterday, but just then
this whole site crashed and it was lost. I told you that I too am
not very good with talking to people live (face to face) and that
when I am depressed like now it gets worse. But when I am manic
I get aggressive and just want to kill everyone. For me there is
a big difference between manic and depression when it comes to
dealing with humanity. Are you depressed or manic when it happens
to you?

Brinmar · #5 14th October 2009, 01:43 PM

April - you make perfect sense. I think we've all been there.

I had REALLY bad social anxiety till recently (and I work in Radio!! - tough). Becoming Manic helped me overcome social situations. I talk a lot now and it doesn't matter who I'm talking with - I just chatter on, and on. It works! Then just recently, on my trip home from taking my oldest daughter to college (8 hour drive). I spent the time in prayer. (Had to because of all the endless miles of road construction and detours). I felt very close to the Lord - the closest I've ever felt. When I got home - I realized that I had been healed of a lot of "stuff". I no longer suffer from memories and my anxiety (all kinds) had just gone away. Still BP, but have been encouraged to keep on praying for even more healing.

Biker - just a note - my first husband was the kind of manic that you have. The kind that made him feel like "killing" everybody. He's in depression cycle now too - I'm praying for you - depression. Anything else I can add to the list???

Heidi

BlondieLashes · #6 14th October 2009, 02:54 PM

I too have social anxiety and if you knew my past you would probably not believe that I have it. I used to be the type that could go anywhere and do anything...literally anything. Now just to get out of the house takes courage... I am not sure how bipolar mixes with the social anxiety, but it seems like a lot of us here struggle with it as well.