| Pastor's (or Minister's) Kids A forum for the children of people in ministry. |  | | 
11th October 2009, 05:09 PM
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Reps: 10 (power: 0) | | is it wrong to be involved with someone in your church? This may come along as random, but was hoping to get some views or advice on this. As a PK, well in my family the number one rule that was set was to NEVER to be involved with a guy in the church family. (me and my sisters) and my brother was never to be with any girl. Yes they are church family and our role as PK's is to treat them like our immediate family. My parents have always been against the idea. Is it so wrong though? - Like whats the dealio? yes its part of tradition and all, but is it more of a sin too if its seen this way? - I just ask coz yeah i have a similar situation. | 
12th October 2009, 02:58 PM
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Reps: 14,682,455,275,079,776 (power: 14,682,455,275,084) | | | The bible says not to marry an unbeleiver.
Therefore we should marry fellow believers.
Where else is a Christian supposed to find a mate, if not in church?
Best place to find a mate is in church if you are christian! | 
20th October 2009, 03:06 AM
|  | Contributor 25 
| | Join Date: 4th September 2006 Location: California
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Reps: 182,775,137,032,624,768 (power: 182,775,137,032,637) | | | no its not wrong..and there is nothing biblical about your parents rule..that is just their rule...you are to marry a believer and it would make sense to me to look around the believers among you. it is not a sin at all....and i dont believe it would be a sin either to do otherwise because you are a grown adult 18+ you dont have to follow everything or even anything your parents say anymore...legally or spiritually speaking. God bless
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20th October 2009, 12:40 PM
| | Newbie
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Reps: 14,682,455,275,079,776 (power: 14,682,455,275,084) | | | It takes a lot of maturity to date people at church. If you break up, it can be uncomfortable and one person usually ends up leaving that congregation, which is a shame.
I think churches over-mysticize the process of finding a mate. Churches need to be more practical.
Also, they need to stop being contradictory. On the one hand, they say "Don't be unequally yoked" but on the other hand, they preach stuff like "If you spend too much time with a girl friend or boyfriend then it is idolatry and you must end the relationship." At least, thats how my former church was. The internal inconsistency makes finding a mate near impossible. | 
22nd October 2009, 04:37 AM
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Reps: 2,177,492,080,348 (power: 2,177,492,084) | | interesting thread.Well as a pk i would have to answer from exp.I went out with a girl outside of my church who was a unbeliever.Me thinking she would change was kind of my position on the matter.I would never bring her around my parents.Well lets just say God open my eyes and I left her.It was hard.Well after several years.I got lonely.And I prayed to God and said" Adam had Eve, My mom has my dad, My cousin(I said his name and his wife name who are both pastors) has his wife.I want someone.The very next day i met the girl that is going to soon be my wife.Well not soon 2 more years but we have already been together for 3 years.And let me tell you the way we found out that God was in charge of the whole thing was.That we have everything down to the wierd things in common and what i lack she was great at.Like i hate math she loves math.I love history she hates it.She the out the blue told me that someone prayed for her and told her that she was going to meet someone who was going to be her other half  a pastor from puerto rico.Who was also going to evangelize and a few other things .And his last name is going to be Ortiz.Well let me tell you she did not know what my last name was.And I turned white like casper.And asked her to repeat that.about 3 times. And when she told me everything in detail and a dream she also had.years prior to me knowing her.I told her my last name and she fliped.Point being I am in a very veryyyyyyyyy happy relationship.And I feel that Church is a place to meet people yes.But I say let god pick who you need.Because when god does it he does it in a perfect way.My relationship is perfect. God made it that way and I am sure that if you let God show you the person he has in mind for you.You will never regret waiting for that.Get close with God and be honest with God.For when you need a someone he will put a someone | 
3rd December 2009, 02:56 PM
|  | Junior Member 30  | | Join Date: 31st March 2008 Location: USA
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Reps: 6,273 (power: 12) | | | Coming from experience (as I am married to my Pastor's youngest son), dating can be difficult. You open yourself up to criticism from the congregation and everyone wants to know your business. If you aren't seriously considering marrying the person, the best idea would be not to be as vocal about dating the particular person.
However, as you do want to be married to someone who is saved and feels about Christ as you do, I can totally understand the concept. | 
6th January 2010, 07:25 PM
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Reps: 14,682,455,275,079,776 (power: 14,682,455,275,084) | | Originally Posted by divineelements Coming from experience (as I am married to my Pastor's youngest son), dating can be difficult. You open yourself up to criticism from the congregation and everyone wants to know your business.
You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. It helps to realize that it doesn't matter what the congregation thinks, IT ISN'T THEIR BUSINESS.
YOUR PERSONAL BUSINESS IS YOUR OWN.
Never let anyone come at you with verses like "Don't cause your brother to stumble" or "Avoid the appearance of evil" as a means of meddling in your life. | 
6th January 2010, 07:27 PM
|  | Veteran 20 
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Reps: 377,494,393,478,209,344 (power: 377,494,393,478,214) | | no its not wrong, in fact its right....because you would be involved with a believer. the only wrong here is your parents
But in all seriousness Jesus said to obey your parents. if they really don't want you to, dont go against their wishes.
Last edited by UnionJack; 6th January 2010 at 07:35 PM.
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19th January 2010, 04:49 PM
| | Newbie
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Reps: 479,613,765,997,900 (power: 479,613,766,001) | | It takes a lot of maturity to date people at church. If you break up, it can be uncomfortable and one person usually ends up leaving that congregation, which is a shame.
true story, it made me quit going to the church my family went to and almost made me quit going all together for awhile. regardless i came back to it after the awkwardness went away but it wasn't worth the time spent away from the church i feel like is home. | 
23rd January 2010, 12:59 AM
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Reps: 14,682,455,275,079,776 (power: 14,682,455,275,084) | | Originally Posted by UnionJack
But in all seriousness Jesus said to obey your parents.
Within reason. One has to use commonsense, obviously if I am an adult and my parents tell me to do something that I believe is incorrect, I'd be foolish to obey them. There are parts in the gospels where Jesus's earthly family was thinking he was going off the rails, but he continued to do what he knew he had to do even if his family didn't understand it. |  | | | Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes | Linear Mode | | | |