Is there anyone out there who cares about this anymore?

RoyWM · #21 28th October 2009, 08:00 PM

Originally Posted by plmarquette

if you wet down your jeans...jump up and down for 15-20 minutes to get them on....
if you look like cat woman in skin tight jump suit
if people can tell whether or not you have bikinni waxed
if people are looking at you when they should be working
if your name is being written on bathroom stalls
perhaps you need a total make over....from Deliliah to Leah...

Maybe,

But I still like John Wayne.

knee-v · #22 29th October 2009, 01:20 AM

I see lust as being very similar to gluttony (both of which I believe are forms of idolotry, which is itself a manifestation of our pride). Ideally, we eat to live. However, what we often do is live to eat. We turn food and the pleasure of a full belly into a god, and pay homage to it as often as possible. We are over-fed and under-worked, with an over-abundance of food at our disposal. So we eat large quantities, and get very picky about what it is we are eating.

Likewise, instead of having sex in order to strengthen/foster marital love and to create a family, we get married/find a random partner for the sake of having sex and pleasing our own drives. Our laws and culture make it very easy and acceptable to have as many partners as we want, and we take for ourselves as much as we can. Even when we're not engaged in the act, being over-sexed makes it difficult to get it off of our minds (just as the hungry person is always thinking about food).

Constantly engaging in any kind of act makes it difficult to not do that act (whether it's a good act or a bad act). Always thinking about a certain thing in a certain way begins to train our minds to always think that way. Making a decision to stop something that's been going on for years and years is certainly a step in the right direction, but not sufficient to rid our lives of it.

A plant with thick roots that have gone very deep and spread wide is very difficult to uproot. It takes a lot of digging and pulling to find out how deep and wide those roots go. We can try to cut it off at the surface of the ground (ie, we can try to simply do right and not do wrong because that's what a good christian does), but it will only regrow, and the roots will continue to grow. Digging and digging and digging takes time, and it takes effort; it's tiring and frustrating.

So a guy with a sexual addiction is dealing with something that is rooted much more deeply than he probably realizes. A christian guy most likely doesn't like that fact that there is deeply-rooted sin in his life. It likely causes him a tremendous amount of agony that he falls into certain sins time and time again.

Many people with issues like that likely encountered sexuality at a very young age, and inappropriately so; whether from sexual abuse, or from an older person (perhaps an older sibling or neighbor) showing that person pornography.

I am not saying this to the OP, but to anyone who hasn't experienced this sort of thing who may look negatively at someone who has. It brings a lot of guilt and shame to the person who goes through this, and being constantly judged for it as if it can simply be turned off at will doesn't make it any easier to overcome.

And to those who are going through it, there are people out there who have overcome it and who are in the process of overcoming it. If we dig for those roots, over time those roots get dug up, little bits at a time. And eventually that plant can be killed.

Chococat · #23 31st October 2009, 12:36 PM

Porn angers me so much because it reduces women to the level of toys for male enjoyment rather than human beings made in God's image. What's more much of it actually involves violence and deliberate degradation/humiliation of women (and sometimes men too).

Having said that I have every sympathy with people who struggle with an addiction to the stuff and sometimes fall by the wayside (not that I'm condoning their behaviour). The people who really bug me are those who openly flaunt their lust and brag about their use of porn or other sexual sin. I would also add that the problem is not solely with men. Only 2 days ago I saw a MySpace page by a woman that was semi pornographic and this woman bragged about liking porn movies. I could only shake my head in pity and disgust, not because I think sex is dirty (the usual accusation hurled at people who object to porn) but because this poor woman obviously had no self respect to portray herself in such a way.

Rosco-p-c · #24 3rd November 2009, 10:55 PM

Great post Lady Bug.

I’m sure that there are only a few men on the planet that don’t struggle with lust. No question, it’s a sin and one to be perpetually on guard of. I wouldn’t attempt to defend, excuse or minimize it, but I do see it as being under the larger category of coveting.

One of Satan’s best methods is to focus on a demographic group… men, women, children, young, old ,etc and use this system to indoctrinate each group from birth according to their weakness; particularly if it’s perpetuated by natural tendencies. The man wants the woman, the bride wants the diamond, the child the toy, youth – independence, the old-youth.

Not wrestling with (or worse – condoning) any type of coveting is a grave error. I think what you have to assume is that all people in this world covet. Lust is one type that is predominate, but not exclusive, to men. The fault is Adam & Eve’s. The destructive cycle of self-deception and blame comes from the great deceiver. Relax your heart and leave those that make excuses and condone to their own end. Cherish the man that daily wrestles through the manipulations of Satan’s system and makes no excuses for his error, but prays to be forgiven and goes back to the struggle. That’s as true a heart as you’re likely to find in these times. Ask also that he honor and pray for you in your struggles.

WannaWitness · #25 4th November 2009, 10:59 AM

You'd better believe I do! This is an issue that seems to be overlooked a lot. That's why I like to take great care to dress as decently as possible. Sadly, though, it doesn't matter if a woman wears something like an ultra-ugly muumuu -- there are some awfully dirty minds running around. I've seen it happen, and that's what makes issues such as this all the more important to me.

What exactly is decent dressing? Well, that's a story for another time....

Lemmiwinks · #26 4th November 2009, 03:17 PM

Women dressing inappropiately is not something that causes men to stumble. I'm a man so I know. This is just an excuse that men use to deflect the shame we feel when women denigrate us as being 'dirty minded.' I stumble because I choose to stumble, and I will seek out the very things I know will make me stumble.

WannaWitness · #27 5th November 2009, 10:40 AM

Originally Posted by Lemmiwinks

Women dressing inappropiately is not something that causes men to stumble. I'm a man so I know. This is just an excuse that men use to deflect the shame we feel when women denigrate us as being 'dirty minded.' I stumble because I choose to stumble, and I will seek out the very things I know will make me stumble.

I'm NOT saying that ALL men are dirty-minded. I'm just saying that there are more than we think who are that way, and because of this, I feel it's better to be safe than sorry -- well, as safe as possible, anyway.

As for me, I just wouldn't feel comfortable in overly-revealing outfits. I'm not trying to condemn anyone; it's simply my conviction.

[As a side note: I think some people get modesty confused with frumpiness. I know a girl in her late teens, and she can manage to dress trendy, yet still decent -- blouses that are not tight and low cut, jeans and slacks that are not tight, and skirts to the knee (with black pantyhose/tights). This girl is very poised and classy (and far from dowdy), and behaves like the young lady she is, standing out among some of the other girls running around who wear next to nothing. A lesson can be learned from her.]

At any rate, I don't want to drift too far off topic. Porn does exist, and it's because there are some people whose constant thoughts are lust, and dressing immodestly doesn't help matters any.

I don't wish to stir any problems; I'm merely hoping this clears up where I'm coming from.

God bless.

salida · #28 6th November 2009, 12:53 PM

Ladybug-

The holy spirit will help you defeat this. Without God's help we can't do it.