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  #1  
Old 6th October 2009, 05:39 PM
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Wife is not affectionate and I'm starting to lose interest in her...

I've realized I'm not the problem all the time so I feel better about myself. Uh oh. Other women are starting to look good and they are casting me glances. The temptation is starting to take hold.

Trying to make my wife happy has been like herding cats. I've accepted myself wholly for who I am and make no apologies to anyone for how God made me. I can't remember the last time I've felt so genuine, and it feels very good.
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  #2  
Old 6th October 2009, 06:22 PM
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Next challenge - move your wife into this new found freedom. Making her happy should be a side effect not an objective. You know that, how are you going to implement that knowledge?
  #3  
Old 6th October 2009, 06:51 PM
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Hi, AL, I'm sorry to hear that you're still having these issues. Glad you realize it's not "all you", though.
  #4  
Old 7th October 2009, 01:18 AM
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Originally Posted by Macx View Post
Next challenge - move your wife into this new found freedom. Making her happy should be a side effect not an objective. You know that, how are you going to implement that knowledge?
You are right as usual. When a man makes a woman his focus he becomes less of a man. Time to focus on the purpose, center, instead of 'chasing the bull'.
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  #5  
Old 7th October 2009, 01:54 AM
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Coughing.....excuse me! I think! What of the hidden things inside of you? As believers, will you be found guiltless when it comes to calling good evil and evil good car sales man?! In these last days we would most certainly view conversations like yours which reveal the true person you are because it comes out of your heart. Last days are here as in the evil days of Noah. Evil was rampant, as we can't hardly tell the difference from the church ways of living than the world's fallen sick ways. Wickedness of men is great in the earth now and every imagination of the thoughts of the heart {as in what you wrote here} are of evil towards your wife. It appears it's not a big deal to you cause you know how great you are as a fallen man. There is no question we are living in days of evil and not many people really care unless something devastating takes place within their personal life.

Woe to them! And God will have the final say as always.

Last edited by jenniferkat; 7th October 2009 at 02:00 AM.
  #6  
Old 7th October 2009, 02:09 AM
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Er, okay, what are you talking about, Jenniferkat?
  #7  
Old 7th October 2009, 09:29 AM
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Yeah, what are you talking about? If you're being judgmental towards AL, we're warned against THAT, by the way. You don't know anything about what he's gone through and what his circumstances are, so let's show a bit of compassion and support here, eh?
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  #8  
Old 7th October 2009, 11:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Autumnleaf View Post
I've realized I'm not the problem all the time so I feel better about myself. Uh oh. Other women are starting to look good and they are casting me glances. The temptation is starting to take hold.
When I am tempted to entertain fantasies about other men (for me, it happens during sex), I take the thoughts captive to obedience to Christ. I immediately pray, confess to God that I am tempted, and ask for His help. The thoughts are immediately expelled and I can "be in the moment" and focus on my husband.

You have a responsibility to rebuke, renounce, and fight warfare against adulterous thoughts. GOD will help you with this, empower you, IF you seek Him.

4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.
On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
2 Cor 10
  #9  
Old 7th October 2009, 11:38 AM
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That's very good advice. But what if a person is in a very long term situation where the spouse will not respond? I'm not arguing with you, just wondering how he could deal with this long term when there's no hope for things to change, like EVER?
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  #10  
Old 7th October 2009, 11:50 AM
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Originally Posted by dorig59 View Post
That's very good advice. But what if a person is in a very long term situation where the spouse will not respond? I'm not arguing with you, just wondering how he could deal with this long term when there's no hope for things to change, like EVER?
Nothing justifies sin. Nothing.

Where does hope come from?

3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings,
because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
4perseverance, character;
and character, hope.
5And hope does not disappoint us,
because God has poured out his love into our hearts
by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Rom 5


I used to meditate on the passage and wonder why God thought I needed quite so much character building? I think autumnleaf is in the pipeline to hope, but he is going through the precursors. If one drops the ball on "character", they won't get to "hope".



 


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