Follow the Leader... (27)

Leader of the Banned · #11 28th September 2009, 01:33 PM

Most of these are old but there're a couple of gems...

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

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Can you cry under water?

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

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Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

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What disease did cured ham actually have?

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

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Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

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Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Daughter of His · #12 28th September 2009, 04:09 PM

Several gems, thanks Leader.

How ya been?

arborvita · #13 28th September 2009, 04:19 PM

Have you all seen all the new games we have in the arcade?

Starr71 · #14 28th September 2009, 09:04 PM

Originally Posted by Leader of the Banned

Most of these are old but there're a couple of gems...

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can you cry under water?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What disease did cured ham actually have?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Several gems. How are you feeling Leader? I am really sick, Trying to make a hour a day to be on here, being sick, is almost impossible for me.

Starr71 · #15 28th September 2009, 09:06 PM

Originally Posted by arborvita

Have you all seen all the new games we have in the arcade?

going to check them out now.

Starr71 · #16 28th September 2009, 09:07 PM

Have a great night all. see you all tomorrow.

Starr71 · #17 28th September 2009, 11:52 PM

Good night all.

Wingsy · #18 29th September 2009, 08:51 PM

3 prayer requests and a whine.

Prayer Request:

1. 11 year old boy from my church was diagnosed with swine flu yesterday. Please keep him in prayer.

2. A good friend of my family had a physical last week. They found blood in his urine, but no obvious signs of kidney infections or stones, so they need to do more tests. Please be praying for him and his wife.

3. A dear friend of mine and her husband (who is also a friend) found out yesterday that her husband's dad is slipping away. He's been sick for a while, but he's taken a turn for the worse. Her hubby (Jay) is paralyzed, and none of his relatives in Indiana have a vehicle they can use to pick them up at the airport, so they have to drive. It's stressful for them and I know Jay is hurting with the possibility of losing his dad.

And my whine. I have a tooth ache

Wingsy · #19 29th September 2009, 08:51 PM

I hate this browser I'm using...

Leader of the Banned · #20 29th September 2009, 10:56 PM

Originally Posted by Wingsy

3 prayer requests and a whine.

Prayer Request:

1. 11 year old boy from my church was diagnosed with swine flu yesterday. Please keep him in prayer.

2. A good friend of my family had a physical last week. They found blood in his urine, but no obvious signs of kidney infections or stones, so they need to do more tests. Please be praying for him and his wife.

3. A dear friend of mine and her husband (who is also a friend) found out yesterday that her husband's dad is slipping away. He's been sick for a while, but he's taken a turn for the worse. Her hubby (Jay) is paralyzed, and none of his relatives in Indiana have a vehicle they can use to pick them up at the airport, so they have to drive. It's stressful for them and I know Jay is hurting with the possibility of losing his dad.

And my whine. I have a tooth ache