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  #31  
Old 28th September 2009, 04:39 AM
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zingiber has a reputation beyond reputezingiber has a reputation beyond reputezingiber has a reputation beyond reputezingiber has a reputation beyond reputezingiber has a reputation beyond reputezingiber has a reputation beyond reputezingiber has a reputation beyond reputezingiber has a reputation beyond reputezingiber has a reputation beyond reputezingiber has a reputation beyond reputezingiber has a reputation beyond reputezingiber has a reputation beyond reputezingiber has a reputation beyond reputezingiber has a reputation beyond reputezingiber has a reputation beyond repute
If our OCD can be legalistic about life, why can't we play the legalist with OCD?! I love bending it back upon itself!
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  #32  
Old 26th September 2010, 10:30 PM
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Glad I found this post. I have OCD and issues with making vows too. I had an immoral thought about a Christian man that showed interest in me, and in disgust of my sin I prayed "Lord may it never be so". Because I prayed that, and it was like a vow, to me it was like praying may it never be so for me to marry that person. That was heavily on my conscious. I prayed a vow one time that if I go to such and such state I will go to hell. I really wanted to move to that state but ended up canceling my plan to go there largely because of that. I think I also had some blasphemous thoughts against God and the Holy Spirit and vowed that I wouldn't go because of that. I just moved to another state, and I prayed (I'm not exactly sure why or if I was sure why I can't remember now), I prayed that if I met a man in this new state and married him I would go to hell. The thing is, I met a man in this new state I am very attracted to and he is attracted to me. Would I be sinning against God if I end up marrying him? I feel afraid that I may go to hell. I feel like I would be going against my vow to God, and that it would eat my conscious all throughout my marraige if that happened. *SIGH* I hate living with OCD also; I feel like my brain is crippling in on itself, and so many things I have not done because I have a blasphemous thought and I feel that the potential action is now tainted and that I would be approving the thought if I went through with the action, or because of vow making I paint myself into a corner so to speak, and cannot do things because of my vow prayers, or thoughts etc. Anyone have any insight on my situation? Thanks.
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  #33  
Old 27th September 2010, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted by flowerforever7 View Post
Anyone have any insight on my situation? Thanks.
A vow that is constrained does not have legal validity.

People with a compulsion to make vows do not have the ability to not make that particular vow, therefore it is not made by choice, therefore it does not have legal validity.

It is exactly the same as if someone forced you to marry, at gunpoint. The marriage would not be legally binding.

God cannot be less moral than we are, therefore, he will NEVER hold anyone to any vow that they have made under the compusion of OCD or any other condition.

God has compassion on such people, and the torments they suffer. He certainly will not add to their torment, by holding them to what is said as a result of a medical condition, and not a free choice, freely made.

Every day, by my own free choice, I pray a certain prayer. I won't say what it is, because I don't want to provide further torments for anyone. However, I do not have OCD. I could have decided to pray this just the once, and have it stand forever. Instead, knowing how frail I am, and how forgetful I am, I choose to repeat it every morning, when I wake. This is not as a symptom of anything, neither is it by constraint. Therefore, this particular prayer is binding on me, and I am happy about that. If I were not happy, I would not continue to say it. The knowledge that I am bound by my prayer does not bring anxiety and torment; it brings peace and certainty.

Unless you have the same peace and certainty about the vows you make, you can rest assured they do not have validity before God, and you can ignore them. If you have the chance of happiness in your life, then take that as a gift from God, and accept it graciously.
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A bruised reed shall He not break, and the smoking flax shall He not quench.
Isaiah 42:3

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
Ad Jesum per Mariam
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  #34  
Old 17th October 2010, 03:00 AM
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Dear DruryGirl,
I hope this message will find you. You should not worry about your OCD vows.

I believe that God doesn't like foolish vows. Why? Because He don't want them to be fulfilled. The logic is so simple!

See Leviticus 5:1-6 about swearing rashly.

-------------

“When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for He hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.”

Think: to make a foolish vow is a mistake, but to fulfill it it’s like a double mistake. Don’t make such double mistakes, because: “He hath no pleasure in fools”.
In other words: only wise and faithful vows should be spoken and done.

-------------

"It is a snare to the man who devoureth that which is holy, and after vows to make inquiry."

Think: if an animal gets into a snare, then it can't escape (no matter what it does) unless a hunter frees it. You are in the same position: no matter what you do (fulfill your vow or not), you can't escape the snare. Only God (just like a hunter) can release you.

-------------

If you think of your wow as a debt that you must pay, then think why Jesus taught us to pray: "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors."?
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  #35  
Old 6th May 2013, 12:49 PM
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I have as similar problem

I also have this problem in a way. Before I got married, I hear about a guy that made a vow of celibacy. So I started worrying that amybe I was not supposed to get married and started worrying about making a vow not to get married. It came to a point in church one day. They were doing communion and I thought that if I took communion that would mean that I was making that vow. I could have gotten up and gone to the bathroom and missed communion, but I did it anyway. I'm not sure what my mindset was; if I was agreeing to it, resigning to it, telling God "ok" or what (not even sure He wanted me to take a vow like that). I started dating a guy and felt really guilty about it. He was a Christian, and he loved me despite my problems, but I made him feel so bad with my worries about marriage after we were engaged. We got closer than we should have which makes me wonder if we shouldn't have been together. We are married now and he is so good to me, but I still have this fear that I sinned in marrying him. Then one night I had this sudden thought that my "vows" (whether real or not) were about celibacy, not marriage, but I'm married...so now I've started this whole thing of thinking that if I do certain things, it means I'm vowing that, and I don't want to do that. But sometimes, for some reason, I'll say, even to God, that I'm not vowing something as long as I do something or other. SOmetimes I'll do it to counteract if I've said something else first. The big problem then comes when I can't do what I said I have to do, and since I prayed it, I feel like I'm bound to that. The other thing is, I keep hearing and reading about keeping vows and promises to God and following Christ and everything. I want God to tell me whether its ok for me to still "be with" my husband. I know it's a part of marriage but what about hte things I've prayed. Also, before I started worrying about this, I prayed that God would speak to me from his word, opened my Bible in Proverbs, and in that passage was a verse about keeping vows to God. Then I had the thought about whether I had made a vow of celibacy so I wonder if God was revealing that to me. Also, since then, when I have my thoughts of, "i'm not vowing as long as..." sometimes I will think that I'm not vowing not to get married instead of about celibacy, which makes me wonder if it is interchangeable so either way have I made a vow? I don't want to choose my husband over God, but I don't want to tell my husband I can't be "with" him...What do you think?
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  #36  
Old 23rd May 2013, 09:50 AM
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How do I delete an extra posting. I accidentally have multiple postings here because I am still learning how to use this forum.

Last edited by Cleanliness; 23rd May 2013 at 10:11 AM.
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  #37  
Old 23rd May 2013, 10:09 AM
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It is better to break a foolish vow than to obey a foolish vow so don't bother to keep vows and don't make vows but if you do make a foolish vow just don't keep it.

Any vow to commit a sin would be a greater sin to obey than to disobey.

It would have been a greater sin for Jepthah to obey his vow than to disobey his vow for he would have to sin to obey his vow. It would not be a sin for Jephtah to break his vow because breaking his vow would be the only way to avoid a greater sin (at least if he interpreted the only way to keep his vow as to sacrifice his daughter) but a sin to make his vow in the first place.

Also a father or husband can nullify a vow

30 And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord: “If you give the Ammonites into my hands, 31 whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in triumph from the Ammonites will be the Lord’s, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.” 32 Then Jephthah went over to fight the Ammonites, and the Lord gave them into his hands. 33 He devastated twenty towns from Aroer to the vicinity of Minnith, as far as Abel Keramim. Thus Israel subdued Ammon.
34 When Jephthah returned to his home in Mizpah, who should come out to meet him but his daughter, dancing to the sound of timbrels! She was an only child. Except for her he had neither son nor daughter. 35 When he saw her, he tore his clothes and cried, “Oh no, my daughter! You have brought me down and I am devastated. I have made a vow to the Lord that I cannot break.”


Judges 11:30-35 NIV



3 “When a young woman still living in her father’s household makes a vow to the Lord or obligates herself by a pledge 4 and her father hears about her vow or pledge but says nothing to her, then all her vows and every pledge by which she obligated herself will stand. 5 But if her father forbids her when he hears about it, none of her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand; the Lord will release her because her father has forbidden her.
6 “If she marries after she makes a vow or after her lips utter a rash promise by which she obligates herself 7 and her husband hears about it but says nothing to her, then her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand. 8 But if her husband forbids her when he hears about it, he nullifies the vow that obligates her or the rash promise by which she obligates herself, and the Lord will release her.
9 “Any vow or obligation taken by a widow or divorced woman will be binding on her.
Numbers 30:3-9 NIV

Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. 2 Do not be quick with your mouth,
do not be hasty in your heart
to utter anything before God.
God is in heaven
and you are on earth,
so let your words be few.
3 A dream comes when there are many cares,
and many words mark the speech of a fool.

4 When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. 5 It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it. 6 Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, “My vow was a mistake.” Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands? 7 Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore fear God.
Ecclesiastes 5:1-7 NIV
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  #38  
Old 28th May 2013, 09:09 AM
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What does that last passage mean?
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  #39  
Old 25th November 2013, 06:47 PM
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I have kind of your same problem. I constantly pray stuff like, "it doesnt mean anythig bad if..." Or the same type of thing but about vowing instead.
The problem here started quite a while back before I started dating my husband. I was at a retreat and heard about a guy that took a vow of celibacy. And I started worrying about God wanting me not to be married. I remember being at a church service where they were doing communion and I felt that if I took communion I would be making that promise but I finally took communion anyway and after that I felt like maybe I had resigned to it or agreed. I started wishing that I could move to another country so I could not have to deal with the attractions i had here. I ended up dating a guy and bring engaged but feeling guilty or worrying a lot. I would hear the song about gaining the world and losing your soul and feel guilty or the song about waiting for someone else to do what God has called me to do. Even reading the Bible or thinking about Jesus or some ofcthe things I heard in church made me feel scared. I ended up marrying him and thought I could pray for forgiveness later or àomething which is trrrible. Then I have also thought about my husband being too important or that I find my comfort in him instead of God or somrthing. My husband is good to me even if he gets fristrated by my compulsions but he used to have fears and ocd like things too which was unteresting. Now I'm worrying about making promises to divorce and I haven't followed through on all my "as long as" thoughts or tgey didn't all pan out and things keep happening that make me feel line God is telling me I have to follow through...
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  #40  
Old 22nd March 2014, 08:47 PM
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I think Ecclesiastes 5 means not to make a vow quickly without thinking it through because it can get you in trouble.

If you make a vow to do something unethical it is often or always morally better to break the vow than to keep it (unless breaking it would be even more unethical than keeping it but in that case it would not be unethical because it is the best choice among worst choices) but you should have not made the vow in the first place because after making a vow to do something you later realize is unethical you will have to break your vow to do the ethical thing but it is not good to break vows unless the vow is to do something unethical.

So basically don't make vows (except for if it would be ethical to keep your vow but even then you do not need to make the vow usually you can just do what you should do without proclaiming a vow first) because you might accidentally vow to do something unethical.

Try not to make vows carelessly or recklessly because you might accidentally vow to do something you later regret.

33 “Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.’ 34 But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36 And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37 All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
Mathew 5:33-37 NIV
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