My husband is a wonderful, incredible, Christ-loving man. We met in ministry and have been involved in ministry for the last 4 years we've been together. We have been married for 3 years.
I found out after we got engaged that my husband smokes marijuana 5+ times a day. At the time he told me that he would never smoke after marriage. He is successful at many things, but his relationship with others and his relationship with God are both severely damaged by his addiction. He has been smoking weed for 14 years, since middle school. I am deeply in love with him, and committed to him for the rest of my life. He is a wonderful, encouraging husband. NOBODY knows about his addiction besides me and his one non-christian friend. He is always stoned, and has gotten so used to it that nobody knows. He has tried to quit, but reasons himself out of it. I have been feeling very convicted lately because I don't know how to respond. Any Godly wisdom?
Greetings to you this night, You said that no one knows except you and a friend, ah but there are others that know. God for one, and the enemy and his underlings. Secrets are never really secrets and they all get exposed eventually. Does your husband want to stop? Has he tried or asked for help if he does want to quit. It is definetly not a good witness and the enemy can accuse Him as long as He continues. I was a addict and addicted to many different types of chemicals. It took many afflictions to get me to turn to God, oh I knew that God could help me. The question was did I truly want to be free, for once free, if I turn back it gets worse. If your husband can truly get honest with himself I am sure that he does shame and guilt over being controlled by something other than the Holy Spirit. Continue to pray for Him that God will show him that he is falling short of all that God has for Him. Prayers are going up to God on your behalf that God would give you strength to stand firm in His love and Grace.
I'm sorry for your struggle. I wish that I could give you some words that would get your husband to stop, but I can't.
I can tell you that you can find support in the Nar-Anon and Al-Anon groups in your area. Those are 12-step fellowships similar to NA and AA, but oriented toward helping relatives and friends of addicts and alcoholics recover from the effects of living with an addict.
Nar-Anon is a smaller fellowship, and it's likely that you might not find meetings in your area. I have no doubt that you'd be welcome in Al-Anon and would find the support you need. I highly recommend that you give them a try.
__________________ "...the most horrible unreason of all is this: that while holding that the whole Church may have erred for a thousand years in the understanding of the Word of God, Luther, Zwingle, Calvin can guarantee that they understand it aright. .If everybody can err in the understanding of the Scripture, why not you and your minister?"
-St. Francis de Sales
Stand by him and continually let him know you love him. Being alone in a struggle like that is one of the very worst things. Having someone by me who wouldn't leave me no matter how bad into drugs and alcohol I would get kept me going and still does. Encourage him and keep letting him know that he can talk to you, that you want to understand why and what's going on and try to remain open and nonjudgemental. Only he can decide to change. No one can decide for him or it won't be a permanent search for a way out. He'll go right back to it if it's someone else's decision. But stand there with him in his struggle.
__________________ I've got lots of poems...if you wanna read them...PM me....
all I know is that with God all things are possible. and one of my favorite verses is, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13. My struggle was self-injury, and it was hard, but I overcame. Through Christ, what is broken can be restored through Jesus... I don't know much about substance abuse, but I know by the prayers of my Mom, sister, brother, and friends and family, an effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. I am saved! don't lose hope. Shara
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"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13