I am a single mom-to-be in the sense that I am not yet married, but engaged to my child's father. However; it is my mother's wish that he would disappear, simply because she doesn't and has never wanted me to be married. She becomes infuriated when he is around and then she starts preaching to me about how I messed my life up...
She is even mad at the fact that I won't take her suggestion and have my tubes tied after I give birth in December to my first and only child.
I am in my mid 20's, college educated and working on a 2nd degree, my fiance' also was just accepted into medical school.
The three men, whom I have ever dated in my whole life, she has had something negative to say about each of them. She even suggested that I NEVER get married because she doesn't want to have to clean up "the mess".
Even when picking out things for the new baby she gets mad because she doesn't like the particular outfit, the carseat colors are not cute, the crib is not expensive enough. Yes, she offers to pay, but just to have control of everything.
I've come to the conclusion all though my mom has been there (for the most part) she does not want me to have a life / family on my own. She will always see me as her 5 year old / dependent, reliant on her for everything.
Some moms are like this and it's hard, but you're just going to have to try and tune her out a lot of the time. If you want to get married to him, then follow your own heart. I'm sorry she's being so negative on everything.
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You need to stand up to your mother you are an adult with a baby on the way and also soon to be married. Your mother seems like one of those parents who wants to control everything I have an Aunt just like this it never went to the extent of her not wanting her sons to marry. Let your mom know that if there is ever a “mess” to clean up it will be your job to clean it up not hers. This is not her baby so don’t be concerned if she does not like things that you or someone else has gotten for the baby. As long as you and the dad like it that is whats important. Some parents just dont think anyone is good enough wife/husband for their child.
sorry to weigh in late, I hope you're still looking. My wife's father's mother was a little like this. She never liked the fact that my wife's mother took her father away from home, and wasn't shy about the shortcomings. To say the least, it made Christmas akward. It didn't stop my father-in-law from have a happy (30 years this year) marriage. Was there tension, yes. but he loves his wife and his mother, and his life isn't his mothers.
Go your own way, and remember that when you're not sure which way that is, the map is in your Bible.
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