Where did you get this idea from? 'Cause the teaching in 1 Peter seems to be saying the opposite...that no matter whether a "master", be it ruler, husband, or boss, is fair or unfair, that it is our job to obey them. 2 Peter 2:18 also came to mind.
__________________ In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. -John 1:3
This is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and that life is in his son. He who has the son has life; he who does not have the son does not have life. -1 John 5:11
Both parties should repent and seek forgiveness from God first and one another second. They should do everything possible to repair the marriage and glorify God in doing so. Only if one party is unrepentant or remains unaccountable for their actions should divorce be considered.
Of course, the body of Christ should be a central piece in all of this. Guidance from a Godly pastor and/or elders throughout the process is imperative if the couple belongs to a Bible believing church.
__________________ ...forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit
thank you everyone for your answers and support, Although Im not sure if anyone really hit the nail on the coufen. I need to know if in scripture it addresses the issue of how to handle this sitution.... The situation of neither spouse being in the right or having th upper hand if you will..... I wife is trying to leave me because I was wroth after she cheated in me and I cheated back to escape the pain. Im not sure if in gods eyes she has that right..... to where He will honor what she is trying to do.... I really want my marriage to work, but she keeps saying that she hs the right to end it and move on....... and even worse with the guy she cheated with.... Im afraid for her..
I would suggest that you may be looking at this union a little too legalistic. You seem to be looking for rigid laws and rules to determine whether you should be together. For this reason, I can tell that you don't love her anymore. I would normally suggest that if you love eachother, then you should probably try to get counseling and seek out fighting for your relationship. After all, you did say for better or worse. I think most people tend to run out the door when worse shows up. With that said, I think that if neither of you love eachother, and that both of you are cheating on eachother, it would be better off for future kids or kids you currently have to part ways. It would be healthier for them to be raised with split parents seeking others in a more appropriate situation than for them to be raised by parents who are constently hurting eachother. No matter how you look at it, the answer is to first stop the adultery. It is wrong both in and out of marriage. Start there.
If and when she leaves...she has a price to pay...not so much in dollars and cents...but in heart condition and pain coming her way that she can't recover from.
No one wins in any court anywhere...on earth or in Heaven in a divorce.
Living well is the best revenge for a divorce...if such a thing can be said.
Just remember...remind yourself and her...that door only opens one way. Once she goes she can't ever come back.
.05% of relationships that start and continue in the fashion she has started one while married ever work out...not even a whole percent. Her relationship with this guy will end and likely badly. Just FYI
And once divorced 66% of second marriages end in divorce. 85-95% of those getting remarried inside the first year of divorce will end in divorce a second time..
So...when her relationship ends and she wants to come back...she can't...and stick to it.
I do not know of any scripture that deals with your exact situation. Maybe someone else can fond a scripture on this.
I do know that God’s bride (children of Israel) cheated (committed spiritual adultery) on God many times. God even had Hosea marry a prostitute so that Israel could understand the pain. God was always ready to forgive and to reconcile.
Jesus said in the New Testament
Matthew 6:14-15 (King James Version) 14For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
It seems obvious to me that God wants violated relationships to pursue forgiveness and to reconcile. In the context of love and the violation of love, rights are not as important as a contrite, humble, and a repentant and forgiving heart.
Your wife seems to be more interested in her rights than in pursuing God’s word. She has committed adultery with this man and still wants to be with him and divorce you. That tells me that she is not looking for the way God dealt with spiritual adultery or Jesus words in Matthew. She wants to use her own declared RIGHTS to justify her decisions rather than follow God’s way and save her marriage.
My guess is that she does not care what you present she wants to justify her actions and make it look like God’s word gives her that RIGHT. When Love is working, RIGHTS are not needed.
Maybe the reprint below from the book “Love Must Be Tough, HOPE for a marriage in crises” may help you
Opening the Cage Door Perhaps it is now apparent where the present line of reasoning is leading us. If there is hope for dying marriages, and I certainly believe there is, then it is likely to be found in the reconstruction of respect between warring husbands and wives. That requires the vulnerable spouse to open the cage door and let the trapped partner out! All the techniques of containment must end immediately, including manipulative grief, anger, guilt and appeasement. Begging, pleading, crying, hand-wringing and playing the role of the doormat are equally destructive. There may be a time and place for strong feelings to be expressed, and there may be an occasion for quiet tolerance. But these responses must not be used as persuasive devices to hold the drifting partner against his or her will. Avoid Being a Used Car Salesman
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