I am very new to all this and looking for an church where I can feel accepted and happy.
As interesting as I find the ritual of Catholicism, I want a more direct relationship with God than that, and in many ways I am a conservative person -- I have no desire to be promiscuous, dress immodestly, etc. and I am pro-life for myself (while respecting other people's rights under the law in this country, and being realistic about things.) I am also a bisexual, tending toward lesbian. I don't demand that the church be a-ok with my sexual orientation, but I would FAR prefer an approach of trying to help me find a way to feel just as happy with a man as with a woman, so it becomes a non-issue, than to have my sin treated like it's SOOOO much worse than others' (when the whole point is that everyone sins -- it's not like straight people are in any position to look down on me, when they are also sinners...)
I would also like to add that I was initially very drawn to the Quakers, but, for one, there is no meeting close enough for me to go, and, also, I think it's important to have some basic guidelines for what people believe in the church, and Quakers seem to be sort of like the UUs, in that everyone's faith is very personal and there aren't a lot of standards, and I long for a little more structure.
If people would like more specifics from me, I can provide them, too.
Last edited by BluePlastic; 19th July 2009 at 04:03 AM.
Do you have any theological preferences? Examples: Is Salvation a choice or predestined? Is communion a literal or symbolic process? etc.
Otherwise I have some suggestions... Church of the Nazarene - Home - The Nazarene Church hails from The Wesleyan Tradition (aka Methodism) although it tends to be more conservative than the United Methodist church in my experience they can be pretty accepting to close minded, it's all about congregation. Typically services are contemporary. The mission of The United Methodist Church is to make disciples of Jesus Christ. - UMC.org - United Methodist Church runs the gamut from Conservative to Liberal (usually depending on region) but is considered very "mainline". The church is pretty accepting and sometimes divided on how to approach issues such as abortion and homosexuality. The have contemporary and "traditional" services that really aren't that liturgical compared to Anglicans, Catholics etc. Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) - "Christan Church: Disciples of Christ" is what is called a Congregational denomination...meaning that most individual churches make their own rules and set standards with regional meetings of other churches. Because there is a lot of flexibility per congregation these vary widely so I encourage you to try multiple congregations and services if you decide to go this route. They pretty accepting on many theological positions and many types of people but it does vary from congregation to congregation. Nearly all services are contemporary. Usually these churches will be called "First Christian Church" or "Main St. Christian Church" etc. they try to avoid denominational labels.
That is a pretty basic selection of churches, if you care to elaborate on your situation or preferences I would be glad to help you. God bless.
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I believe salvation is a free choice, no predestination, and that the communion is symbolic. I also believe that baptism should be done only to adults, not little children who are too young to decide for themselves, because it's an outward sign of an inward change and decision, which a baby can't make.
I would also like a church that, similar to the Quakers, involves itself in social issues on the more liberal side of things -- i.e., pro-peace, fighting for the rights of all people, feeding and clothing the poor -- as opposed to the more conservative side of things -- i.e., fighting against the marriage rights of consenting adults, trying to get Christian values signed into civil law, opposing scientific progress and trying to censor the things other people are allowed to see and hear, etc. I am a very charitable and giving person and love to help others, and see that as more true to the message of Christ than trying to impose my morality on other people.
Unfortunately, the closest Disciples of Christ church and the closest Church of the Nazarene are 45 minutes away from me. There is a Methodist church in town, and I remember it being very boring when I went there as a child with a friend, but that was 20 years ago so it may be different now.
Based on your sexual preference I would consider the episcopal church. They observe traditions similar to the Catholic church (there are different "levels" to worship so it sound like a high church setting might not work for you, but a low church or broad church type would) and are also conservative.
What do you believe in regards to the sacraments? That would help too.
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1 Peter 5:8-9
Be sober, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking some one to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experience of suffering is required of your brotherhood throughout the world.
Based on your last post you might also consider a Wesleyan church...similar in theology to the UMC and Nazarenes. I can't remember if they baptize infants or not though (the UMC does). I think they will be more conservative than the UMC. The UMC does however take an active role in social issues, particularly on the national level.
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"The Bible knows nothing of solitary religion." -John Wesley
At least take a look at Wesleyan but like Redhead said they may be too conservative for you.
With your expansion I will also agree with Aibrean try the Episcopal Church or maybe some ELCA Lutheran Churches. They are stereotyped as pretty liberal but really there are lots of congregations it is pretty moderate...but since you said you aren't really into ritualism you may not like a liturgical high church setting and may be more comfortable in "low church" settings. These exist in both the Episcopal and ELCA Lutheran churches.
Since you aren't a Calvinist by the sound of things most of the churches listed would be a good match for you; churches in opposition would be Presbyterian, Reformed (Predestination), Catholic (liturgy), LCMS Lutherans (pretty conservative, liturgical). Assuming I understand your beliefs moderately well.
Maybe also consider Free-Will Baptists for they don't believe in Calvin's Double Predestination either...however I think they are pretty conservative, I'm not sure I have never attended a service.
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It is important that you find a biblical church -- one that will teach you the pure truth of God's Word without comprimise. I recommend that you find a conservative evangelical church that will disciple you deeply in the things of God. Most Baptist churches should be able to assist you. Christian & Missionary Alliance, Associated Gospel Churches, Conservative Presbyterian, Evangelical Free Churches, and other similar denominations can also be helpful. Above all things, though, you'll need a theologically conservative church strongly committed to biblical inerrancy.
It is important that you find a biblical church -- one that will teach you the pure truth of God's Word without comprimise. I recommend that you find a conservative evangelical church that will disciple you deeply in the things of God. Most Baptist churches should be able to assist you. Christian & Missionary Alliance, Associated Gospel Churches, Conservative Presbyterian, Evangelical Free Churches, and other similar denominations can also be helpful. Above all things, though, you'll need a theologically conservative church strongly committed to biblical inerrancy.
The issue is that the OP is bisexual. Typically conservative principles and homosexuality are not mutually accepted at the same place. I know that would not sit well at all with C&MA (I went there for over 10 years), and you would have to research the other churches specifically as just by denomination is too broad (like the Lutherans have ELCA on the left and WELS on the far right).
__________________ I know I am blunt. I apologize.
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1 Peter 5:8-9
Be sober, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking some one to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experience of suffering is required of your brotherhood throughout the world.
TimRout: As Aibrean said, I am leery of churches that come right out and say they're "conservative", because I know they will not be accepting of me and in many cases won't even want to help me change in any way -- just yell at me and throw bible verses in my face, as though they aren't sinners too.
I believe salvation is a free choice, no predestination, and that the communion is symbolic. I also believe that baptism should be done only to adults, not little children who are too young to decide for themselves, because it's an outward sign of an inward change and decision, which a baby can't make.
I would also like a church that, similar to the Quakers, involves itself in fighting for the rights of all people, feeding and clothing the poor -- as opposed to the more conservative side of things -- i.e., fighting against the marriage rights of consenting adults, trying to get Christian values signed into civil law, opposing scientific progress and trying to censor the things other people are allowed to see and hear, etc. I am a very charitable and giving person and love to help others, and see that as more true to the message of Christ than trying to impose my morality on other people.
Unfortunately, the closest Disciples of Christ church and the closest Church of the Nazarene are 45 minutes away from me. There is a Methodist church in town, and I remember it being very boring when I went there as a child with a friend, but that was 20 years ago so it may be different now.
Hi, blue!
First, I want to say thanks for bringing your concerns to us. Second, I like the way you've been very clear about the issues that matter to you. That helps us a lot.
What you are seeking, it seems to me, can probably be found in a wide range of churches, so it's not as though we are going to say immediately, "Ah, what she wants is the X church." I think that my colleagues here also had the same reaction. What this led me to think is that it might be interesting and also possibly helpful to take each of the points you made here and see which is the probably top choice for each issue. I don't agree with TimRout's assessment, BTW, because I think you are a strongly liberal person, politically, not to mention the also important issue of your sexual orientation. I'm afraid that some of those churches listed could subject you to a strong dose of judgmentalism. Not all of them, probably, but you'd have to be careful.
Now, to the individual issues-- free choice, no predestination. Most Protestant churches and all Catholic-type churches are freewill, so this doesn't do much more than rule out Presbyterian, Reformed, and some Baptists.
communion is symbolic. While this is true for most Protestants, it rules out Episcopalians, Lutherans, and again, all the Catholic-type churches.
baptism should be done only to adults. This makes us think, automatically, of Baptists, although they may pose a conflict in other areas. Many Protestant churches take this position also, however. Episcopalians, Lutherans, Methodists, Presbyterians, and many others do not.
social issues on the more liberal side of things -- i.e., pro-peace. I immediately think of the United Methodist Church when I read this. Other than the Quakers, Mennonites, and perhaps the Unitarians, the UMC is the church most known for peace issues these days.
Methodist church in town, and I remember it being very boring when I went there as a child. Well, there goes that idea, huh? What I think you may mean here is that the rather formal, patterned, and typically unemotional style of worship that Methodists are used to, having come from the Anglicans, strikes you are predictable or something like that. I can see how that would be. But this again is reason to shelve the Episcopalians and Lutherans, by the same token.
more direct relationship with God. Again, liturgical churches like the Episcopalian, Lutheran, and Catholic tend to offer this, but at the price of being structured and possibly boring.
some basic guidelines for what people believe in the church, and Quakers seem to be sort of like the UUs, in that everyone's faith is very personal and there aren't a lot of standards. OK, I understand. Unfortunately, the more liberal or socially active churches tend, logically enough, to be the ones least inclined towards strict creedal statements, etc.
So where does this leave us? I did also think of the Disciples of Christ but distance has ruled that out. So who would come close? I'm ruling out the Lutherans, Episcopalians, Catholics, Presbyterians, and Reformed right off the bat. Also the Churches of Christ although they are more in synch with your thinking on baptism and communion.
Some of the more liberal Baptists, such as the American Baptists, which predominate in the northern states, could be the right fit. This seems to be my #1 choice as a suggestion to you. The United Church of Christ would probably be #2. They do baptise children but see it as more of a dedication, which might be acceptable to you.
I'm not quite sure what to say about the "personal relationship with God" idea here, but most of the rest of what we've found on your profile would seem to work. Baptists characteristically are non-creedal and believe that nothing should come between the individual's conscience and God, so this could be what you are thinking. Yet they are far from being like the Quakers and UUs in holding to a "whatever you think best" doctrinal attitude.
I'd think the Nazarenes could fit as regards the "personal relationship with God" idea. All the Holiness churches would be similar, and they do stress lifestyle. The sexual orientation matter could be a problem, however. On the other hand, there's nothing absolute about how each congregation is going to react, especially since you see this is a non-issue and one about which you have a degree of flexibility. They are not generally social activists, however, and this is important to you. The other churches of the Wesleyan tradition (Free Methodists and Wesleyan Church) could also be OK but, again, they are quite conservative and concentrate on the individual's behavior and growth in the faith, not on changing society.
After all of this, there aren't a lot of churches that we've suggested to you. Therefore, maybe a few visits by you to churches in your area and perhaps some candid conversations with the pastors of the "top" two or three after you've whittled down your list, will make up your mind for you.
Last edited by Albion; 22nd July 2009 at 10:17 PM.
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