Abusive Husband

I live with a mentally abusive husband. We've been married for almost 2 years now. He says he is Christian but he sure doesn't act like it. He doesn't know much about the Bible. He's a pure hypocrite. He says he will but it's always an excuse. Every Sunday it's so difficult for me to get him to go to church. I would always go alone for several weeks. However, lately only because I've been going alone and he's been having a rougher week than i do, he feels that he has to go. He absolutey conforms to man made things. He praises Money over anything as he is in debt and had financial problems all throughout his life as well as because of past gambling problems. First, He gets so frustrated about spending money for me. WHenever he is mad the first words that come out are cuss words. I don't know how it got to this. We used to respect each other but at some point it turned this way. He would say the nastiest things to me such as "[wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth]," "[wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth]," but now i've had my limits, as he called me a "whore and a [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth]." He says the most hurtful things to me that I can't bare to stand anymore. Just a few min ago, he said, " you are low class [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth]." I told him that if i'm low class he's low class to watch porn and do bad things. He told me that he watches it because he doesn't feel that i'm appealing and he called me fat and ugly. I wish I could leave and divorce him to be honest but I'm too afraid of it. I understand that divorce isn't an emotional thing and I am afraid of the words of the Lord. I know that God hates divorce and committing adultery is a sin. I'm not a good writer but I need to seek help. I don't feel that marriage counseling will work as it is impossible to even get him to go. THe only words that come out from his mouth is DIVORCE me already.I have ripped the divorce papers before when he gave it to me. Sometimes I wish he would just cheat on me so that I can leave him. I know this isn't the right way to think, but I really feel angered by the hurtful things he says. I really need help and advice from someone. How do I deal with him?

Hi and welcome to Healing Ministry.. I will pray for you and your husband..

Your situation is a lot like mine at home with my husband.. so I can understand some of what you are saying very well..

Although my husband at this time is not claiming to be a Christian... he has in the past..

My advice to you.. and encouragement is that I have learned from the LORD GOD.. is to work on you first!!

We must put our husbands in GODs hands.. above all things.. When they are in GODs hands.. we are not responsible for thier behaviour.. meaning we can let go and let GOD!!

Secondly.. we must realize there are things we can do to better the situation.. and we can work on ourselves and on our actions..

Before GOD we are called to love HIM above all things.. love the LORD your GOD with all your heart, strength and mind and secondly.. love your neighbor as yourself..

Get yourself right with GOD first..

This does not mean that your husband is right.. and what he is doing is right.. but it does mean that you can have peace.. and blessings from GOD and this will ultimately flow through to your marriage..

If you are like me.. you need to forgive your husband and keep forgiving.. I had bitterness in my heart.. and sometimes that rises us.. I hate.. sometimes what he does and how he treats me.. but I realize GOD hates it more then I do.. because I am GODS child..

I confess my sins.. tell GOD what has happened.. and how I am hurting and then I ask GOD to help me love my husband.. and HE does.. Through following GOD and HIS ways.. I am healed and helped and given strength..

It isn't easy... but love covers over a multitude of sins.. we must love because GOD first loved us...

Only through GOD can you do this.. I have never divorced.. but I have felt like it sometimes..

GOD must become your strength.. and you must daily pray for your marriage.. and husband.. blessing him when he curses you.. It isn't easy.. but it is possible..

I will pray.. this matter is close to my heart because I live it.. I am believing for your healing and marriage to be healed..

GOD is with you.. give HIM full reign in your life.. and HE will do all things..

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You are obviously suffering for Christ's sake in trying to honor your covenant of marriage. Continue to pray that you can be given the strength to bear the abuse in your situation.

Having said that, I will also say that I have seen compelling arguments made from Scripture that a spouse who is consistently abusive and/or addicted to pornography has effectively abandoned the other marital partner and therefore may lawfully be divorced for this abandonment.

Speak with your pastor about this and seek his counsel. You may want your pastor to make an intervention visit to your home and speak with you both if you cannot get your spouse to come to the church office for counseling.

AMR

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Ask Mr. Religion (AMR)
Reformed Theology Institute

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, and it shall be answered.
Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips

The enemy is not your husband.. it is the devil.. coming through him..

Just thought I would write that.. because even if you leave that man.. anyone who is troubling.. the devil will come at you through some other way.. he will not give up..

These are the last days.. before JESUS CHRIST returns.. and there is a great spiritual attack on all believers.. in marriage.. families.. etc..

If you want to live for GOD in your marriage.. you need to daily put on your armor.. pray always... do everything GODs way.. and look only to HIM..

In the worlds point of view... we would not stay.. the LORD is with us.. blessed be HIS name.. HE is mighty and we are overcomers through the blood of the LAMB and the word of our testimony..

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I'm in similar situation and this is advise that someone wrote to me:

Please know that a marriage to a difficult spouse is one of the hardest challenges that a human being can ever endure. With this being said it will take the Lord to keep you from becoming despondent and giving up. Give God your life. Tell Him that you want to be used by Him. God can take the ashes of your problems and transform them into a beautiful life that you could not ever imagine. Whatever you do you must return to God..without Him the enemy will come and try to destroy you. Wait on the Lord and be of good courage and he shall strengthen your heart.

Give God your life an marriage....
God bless

I have never heard of that before.. but I will agree that this is true.. thank the LORD HE is greater..

I will continue to pray for those who have posted here.. including my own marriage..

LORD we will overcome.. we stand strong together.. because three strands are not easily broken.. We say.. through YOU we overcome the enemy who is coming against us.. and we triumph through the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony!!

Glory to GOD!

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Hi.. I have read your testimony and feel really bad for you. Please go to the site that is in my signature. My Pastor has some great materials that will help you in the long run. Do you have the baptism of the Holy Spirit?