Some people find Him and sometimes He finds you. Reading your post made me think of a claim made by CS Lewis:
You must picture me alone in that room in Magdalen, night after night, feeling, whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him whom I so earnestly desired not to meet. That which I greatly feared had at last come upon me. In the Trinity Term of 1929 I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England
I personally believe that if you pursue faith you will find it, I do not think it is something that is as easy as flipping a light switch. Give it time and and it will grow in you
Thank you all for your replies. I think that at this point there is nothing I can do to change my own heart and I can only patiently seek more understanding of myself and God. So I will try to do that, even though seeking God will be hard with my bitter predisposition.
Thank you all for your replies. I think that at this point there is nothing I can do to change my own heart and I can only patiently seek more understanding of myself and God. So I will try to do that, even though seeking God will be hard with my bitter predisposition.
May your mind be opened, your heart softened, and truth revealed so that there is no mistake in you as to what truth is....
Daily confess that you have a love for God that is growing deeper and deeper, and a relationship that is growing stronger. Speak it into being! Take positive action and take charge. It seems you WANT to love God, but you don't, or at least nowhere near as much as you would like to. But that's exactly it; you can't change your heart, only God can, so start believing His promises to you who accepts Him as Saviour and believe and confess that He will perfect the work in you that He started when you were 6! The devil is trying to stop you from achieving this and dishearten you and quell your love, and your flesh is easily bowing to it. MAKE WAR using the tools of God's Word.
[quote=TheAcherMan;52192522]I was raised in a Christian home, accepted Jesus when I was 6 and led a Christian life with Christian fellowship since then. But in late high school things started to fall apart. While I should have had a faith that welled up from inside and which gave me peace, I found it a strain to love God or even give a crap about what he'd done. I finally decided that I couldn't force myself to love God and that I had to be honest with myself. I released my heart and it quickly fled far away from God. I wasn't happy, but I finally felt genuine and not suffocated.
We cannot force ourselves to Love Jesus,we come to Him and get to know Him and taste that He is good.We come to Him and ask Him to forgive us and ask Him for rest and peace. Rebelling against God may make a person feel genuine,however we were meant to Love and obey our Saviour and Lord,and that is the way to true genuineness. Jesus is Truth. We shall know the truth and the truth shall make us free. No one a person is not happy with God since Jesus is the way and the Truth and the Life. Without Jesus we are lost , deceived and dead. Jessu gives peace and joy and love. Without Jesus we can do nothing. We cannot change our hearts but Jesus makes all things new. We are weak but Jesus is strong. Jesus is the sure foundation. He takes our feet out of miry clay and sets us on a Rock. Jesus is our Refuge and Fortress. We can do nothing without Him. Jesus says to love Him with all our heart and soul and mind and strength. So when we come to Jesus and ask Him to change us He does. From the inside out. Jesus gives us hope and Life. Jesus makes all things new. Jesus invites us to come to Him for rest and to taste and see that He is good.We caanot force it, We can choose to believe in Jesus and ask Him to forgive our sins and to be our Lord and our Saviour and to change us and lead us and comfort us and heal us and fix us. We can choose to surrender to our Lord and Saviour , all our fears and doubts and rebellions etc.Just surrender to Jesus and trust Him. It is so easy. Choose to ask Jesus to forgive us and save us and we make Jesus our Saviour and Lord and surrender to Him and trust Him. Get to know Jesus through pouring our hearts out to Him in prayer and tasing and seeing that He is good.
Still, concerned for my eternal soul, I attended a Christian college for 2 years, but nothing changed. I can now "argue" on the side of the Christian or the atheist. To be honest, I probably argue for Christianity better and I find it hard to shake some of the beliefs.
christian college cannot change us only Jesus can. without Jesus........... 2 Timothy 3:7 Everlearning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
The main theological problems I have mainly revolve around sovereignty vs. free will and the seemingly never ending arguments around things like baptism. It really bugs me that Christians can't agree on so many things that seem to be big deals. Why didn't Jesus teach clearly?
It does not matter all the things people argue over , Jesus taught very plainly and clearly.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlastinglife. John 3:15-17 (in Context) John 3
John 3:36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlastinglife: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him. John 3:35-36 (in Context) John 3
John 4:14 But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlastinglife. John 4:13-15 (in Context) John 4
John 5:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlastinglife, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life. John 5:23-25 (in Context) John 5
John 6:27 Labour not for the meat which perisheth, but for that meat which endureth unto everlastinglife, which the Son of man shall give unto you: for him hath God the Father sealed. John 6:26-28 (in Context) John 6
John 6:40 And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlastinglife: and I will raise him up at the last day. John 6:39-41 (in Context) John 6
John 6:47 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlastinglife. John 6:46-48 (in Context) John 6
1 Timothy 1:16 Howbeit for this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might shew forth all longsuffering, for a pattern to them which should hereafter believe on him to lifeeverlasting.
Acts 13:46 Then Paul and Barnabas waxed bold, and said, It was necessary that the word of God should first have been spoken to you: but seeing ye put it from you, and judge yourselves unworthy of everlastinglife, lo, we turn to the Gentiles.
Daniel 12:2 And many of them that sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlastinglife, and some to shame and everlasting contempt.
Romans 9 30What shall we say then? That the Gentiles, which followed not after righteousness, have attained to righteousness, even the righteousness which is of faith.
31But Israel, which followed after the law of righteousness, hath not attained to the law of righteousness. 32Wherefore? Because they sought it not by faith, but as it were by the works of the law. For they stumbled at that stumblingstone; 33As it is written, Behold, I lay in Sion a stumblingstone and rock of offence: and whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.
In any case, my main situation is this: I know all there is to know about Christianity, or at least enough. I highly doubt someone could present to me a perspective I am not familiar with. Yet I cannot accept it.
Romans 8:6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Romans 8:5-7 (in Context) Romans 8
Romans 8:7 Because the carnalmind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. Romans 8:6-8 (in Context) Romans 8
Our minds won't accept the things of God. It is a choice and after we make the choice Jesus gives us a new heart and makes all things new. We ignore our rebellion and our carnal minds.
Romans 10:10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouthconfession is made unto salvation.
Acts 17:30 And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent:
My heart wants nothing to do with God and I only think of him bitterly. I don't want to go back to where I was in high school because that relationship was too flimsy and fake, but I would like something to give me a sense of purpose and security in life.
Only Jesus can give us peace and rest and security. Only Jesus saves and makes all things new. Only in Jesus is safety and a sure foundation. Only Jesus is our Refuge and Fortress. Only Jesus can melt a heart. Only Jesus gives us a hope and a future and restores our soul and leads us beside still waters. Only Jesus is the Good Shepherd who lays down His life for the sheep. Only Jesus has power to forgive sins . Only Jesus loves unconditionally and changes hearts. Jesus if full of mercy and compassion. Only Jesus has all authorty. Jesus can and will givea real relationship. Our job is to come and ask Jesus to forgive us and to be our Lord and Saviour.Surrender. Jesus says he that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out. All things are possible with God.
Matthew 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. Matthew 19:25-27 (in Context) Matthew 19
Mark 10:27 And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible. Mark 10:26-28 (in Context) Mark 10
Luke 18:27 And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God. Luke 18:26-28 (in Context) Luke 18
__________________ 2 Corinthians ch 10 verse 5 5Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; Ephesians ch 6 12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Right now I am terrified of death for fear of hell, but I just don't want God. If that's where my heart is, what can I do about it?[/quote]
Matthew 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. Matthew 19:25-27 (in Context) Matthew 19
Mark 10:27 And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible. Mark 10:26-28 (in Context) Mark 10
Luke 18:27 And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God. Luke 18:26-28 (in Context) Luke 18
For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouthconfession is made unto salvation.
Acts 17:30 And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent:
Make a choice to believe in Jesus and call out to Him to forgive you and to Save you and to be your Lord and Saviour and to change you. Surrender to Jesus
blessings annrobert
__________________ 2 Corinthians ch 10 verse 5 5Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; Ephesians ch 6 12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Thank you all for your replies. I think that at this point there is nothing I can do to change my own heart and I can only patiently seek more understanding of myself and God. So I will try to do that, even though seeking God will be hard with my bitter predisposition.
I am much like you in background. I have more anger than answers. I will tell my own story soon.
Right now I am terrified of death for fear of hell, but I just don't want God. If that's where my heart is, what can I do about it?
Can I ask a question? What or why don't you want God, what do you think you will loose if you follow God, love God....? Maybe another way to ask the question is what part of God do you not want?
Linear Mode
