Valley lilies...golden hearted, your message sweet
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Join Date: 12th January 2004
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I nearly cried today in Geo! Why? Well...I guess I felt kinda overwhelmed in terms of participation and speaking up. Speaking up in class has never been my strength, but the past semesters I've really done well w/ Jesus' help. But this semester is just causing an issue. Having class ea. day and have BOTH teachers put me on the spot...Geo. most often...is just throwing me into a tizzy of anxiety and nerves. Rt. now in both classes I'm in "survival mode" which means no way on earth am I speaking up. Today, the Geo teacher had us get into this circle and expected us to listen to what others were saying, ask an intelligent question and then explain our own topic. I mean, for me it was so overwhelming. I was trying to figure out what I'd say and trying to zone into what other folks were saying while trying to come up w/ something good to ask in case the teacher randomly called on me. And this is at 8 something in the morning dude! I'm tired and want to sleep and eat! No way on earth will I be alert that early (another reason why next semester I am determined to have late morning or early afternoon classes only 2 or 3 days a week...NOT every stinkin' day!).
And then...to add the the stress in the class is 'G'. I mean, before I started liking him the classes weren't as nightmarish since people's thoughts didn't really matter. Now I have someone who I really don't want to look stupid in front of. Man! I honestly hate this semester. But on a good note....I got an A on my Geo test!! I am so glad. Now I know how to study for her tests so I can pull that off! Thank the Lord!
And...in terms of 'G'. Today before class started he walked in and I happened to look up and he was looking rt. at me. Secondly, when in the circle, I seriously accidently looked his direction (I've been trying to avoid looking at him since that one "wierd" incident) and our eyes met and I felt like I had to tear my eyes from his. It was really wierd...lol. The whole thing w/ him is wierd and I know exactly why to....*rolls eyes* Anywho, I've been begging the Lord to make me get over him but nothing is happening except me still liking him! LOL
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Valley lilies...golden hearted, your message sweet
21
Join Date: 12th January 2004
Posts: 50,859
Blessings: 81,391
My Mood
Reps: 273,548,469 (power: 273,604)
Okay...a huge chunk of my posts are missing...I have some speculations, but whatever...anyway back track:
1) I got over 'G'
2) The teacher falsely accused me of plagerism of which she later told me to disregard and I was VERY steamed wondering what on the face of the earth she was thinking. It felt like a surreal nightmare for several days.
Now....well, I ended up getting an A!!!!!!!!!! on that paper! I can hardly believe it and didn't tear it up since she hardly wrote anything negative! There was no defacement of my hard work!! Plus, after class this one guy was complaining of how the teacher accuses anyone who writes a good paper of plagerism....interesting...lol
In terms of 'G'....well....he is still looking at me...a lot. Like all throughout Geo. class each class. Now, I really was over him, but this Thursday my eyes happened to turn his direction (the class was seated in a circle) and he was looking right at me w/ his normal partial grin-like expression. Anyway...since that moment I've been thinking maybe I do still have a teeny dot of liking still for him Now, I planned on doing a drawing for him anonymously for obvious reasons...but now I'm freaked out about seeing him w/ his girlfriend. Why? Because I still have a bit of liking....terd! What a rip off. Why am I attracted to him? And why on earth does he keep looking at me!
Anyway...on a happy note...I contacted 'Z'!!!! And he replied! I am determined to be that guy's friend, dude!
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Valley lilies...golden hearted, your message sweet
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Join Date: 12th January 2004
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Well, today is no class *rejoices* but dude, I kinda feel gross. I'm not ill...it's just a girl thing...LOL. Anyway....boy wise, 'Z' seems to be slipping back into my dreams again. But funny thing, I just got an email about the baseball team at my school and they did kinda horrid I feel not happy since it's 'Z's team!
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Valley lilies...golden hearted, your message sweet
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Join Date: 12th January 2004
Posts: 50,859
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Okay, I finished the surprise for 'G'! Mwahahahaha! Okay, and I found out I am totally over him...at least in a 'crush' way. Anywho...tomorrow I have to present in Eng. and I am not too thrilled about it. Maybe he won't be in class tomorrow! lol
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Valley lilies...golden hearted, your message sweet
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Join Date: 12th January 2004
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Well, 'G' was there today...lol...but I survived! Yaya! Okay, I was the second person to go and dude, I was so nervous I felt like I would faint. Whew....but like midway through I started feeling a tad more comfortable and I concluded w/ 2 youtube videos. The first one had the class crack out a little. Anyway, at the end the class applauded like they do for everyone and I was relieved and happy to be done. It was like getting a huge rock off my chest
PLUS...I made a point only to look at the side of the room that 'G' wasn't on. Not only because he was there, but also because a few other folks I think are kinda mean are on that side too...lol. That definitely helped, dude!
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Valley lilies...golden hearted, your message sweet
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Join Date: 12th January 2004
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Today is the last run of the school musical and I totally plan on attending! I can't wait to see it! PLUS....'Z' and his team won 2 baseball games after a series of losses That makes me smile
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Valley lilies...golden hearted, your message sweet
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Join Date: 12th January 2004
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Yesterday's musical was AWESOME!! But...guess who was there as part of the stage crew?....'G'!!! LOL! Okay, anywho...today in class he actually got an extra paper hand out from this person that was presenting and gave it to me! lol.... I mean, it's not really a big deal, but for some reason I found it nice of him to do that. Maybe I do still kinda sorta have tiny interest in him. I rather not think about it. Anyway...'H' did something nice today too! Well, we had to fill out this brief survey and we both got done at about the same time and then he turns to me and offers to take mine to turn in! I didn't have to get up and walk all the way to the front of the class....I thought that was kinda sweet of him. Now...lol...that's another example of something that's not technically a big deal and folks do, but it still meant a lot to me, at least. PLUS...
well, 'H' sits beside me and beside him is this other dude who is his friend. Well, I saw his friend looking at me and then talking to 'H'. *shrugs shoulder* What's up w/ that. Anywho...I still think 'H' is kinda cute. But I'm still trying to figure out the whole giving 'G' the surprise thing I made him (which I made sure to incorporate his g/f in so there won't be an issue...lol). I can hardly wait to give it to him! Dude! I'm seriously thinking of doing that this Thursday, but I probably won't. I'll be stressed out enough about speaking in front of the whole class once again, but at least this time there will only be like 9 folks instead of 30 something.
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Valley lilies...golden hearted, your message sweet
21
Join Date: 12th January 2004
Posts: 50,859
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Reps: 273,548,469 (power: 273,604)
I really do NOT like Geo. class, dude. lol. Today I had to present and it was horrid! I felt super nervous and like several times the professor was like, "project" or "speak louder" and whatnot. I mean, come on! Anyway, we have to blasted present AGAIN like next week I think! How horrid! Thank goodness there's only like 2 more weeks of the semester left!
Boywise...'G' wasn't really an issue in the class, though I did feel a bit more stressed because he was there. Anyway, I'm so glad our eyes didn't lock this time. I'm kinda over him anyway...like I've said plenty of times already...LOL. In terms of 'Z' () I was walking out of the classroom and heading out and I saw one of his friends. Instantly I know that 'Z' may be near, but I kinda just kept walking and then I walked down the stairs and I heard what sounded like 'Z's' voice and some stuff that pretty much pointed to it being him. Anyway, from what I heard I think he still likes me! I'm really glad about that since I still definitely like him and still want to be that dude's friend. He's still talking about the one drawing I gave him last semester
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Valley lilies...golden hearted, your message sweet
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Join Date: 12th January 2004
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Okay, well, I'm summing up all the rest of the stuff I have to get done before heading out the country . Rt. now the biggest pain is exchanging US money for foreign. Dude! I hate waiting till the last minute, but that's just what ended up happening. I mean, this is my first time doing something like this, so I'll know better next time Anywho...tomorrow I'll try calling the bank and such. Then after that I only have 1 vaccine left and one final day of shopping to get the rest of my stuff for the trip. Whew! I can hardly wait dude!
But of course, there is some guy drama still going on. Well, there's 'Z' who I really really like I really want to get to know him better and be his friend. In terms of 'G', I have to give him that one drawing either this week or next week. I heard one girl from school say that the week after next is finals week!!!! If so then he has to get the stuff this coming week! I hope and pray that girl was wrong! And finally there is a guy from church! Now I mentioned him in an earlier post like a month or two ago, in which case he too...like 'G'...happened to have a g/f. Man! Anyway, I honestly don't have a crush on him, but still think he is cute. Anyway, I was heading out to the car and happened to run into him at the door. He smiled and opened the door for me and I smiled back. lol.......not really a big deal, but I just wanted to record that...lol. He's pretty cute.
Plus, after class this one guy was complaining of how the teacher accuses anyone who writes a good paper of plagerism....interesting...lol
Now, I planned on doing a drawing for him anonymously for obvious reasons...but now I'm freaked out about seeing him w/ his girlfriend. Why? Because I still have a bit of liking....terd! What a rip off. Why am I attracted to him? And why on earth does he keep looking at me! 
That makes me smile 
) I was walking out of the classroom and heading out and I saw one of his friends. Instantly I know that 'Z' may be near, but I kinda just kept walking and then I walked down the stairs and I heard what sounded like 'Z's' voice and some stuff that pretty much pointed to it being him. Anyway, from what I heard I think he still likes me! 
I really want to get to know him better and be his friend. In terms of 'G', I have to give him that one drawing either this week or next week. I heard one girl from school say that the week after next is finals week!!!! If so then he has to get the stuff this coming week! I hope and pray that girl was wrong! And finally there is a guy from church! Now I mentioned him in an earlier post like a month or two ago, in which case he too...like 'G'...happened to have a g/f. Man! Anyway, I honestly don't have a crush on him, but still think he is cute. Anyway, I was heading out to the car and happened to run into him at the door. He smiled and opened the door for me and I smiled back. lol....
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