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  #1  
Unread 1st December 2003, 09:37 PM
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Question Say to someone who lost a loved one?

Well, one of my friends just lost his grandfather...and this has happened a lot, but I always get anxious over what I should say to someone who has just lost a loved one. I'm always afraid I'll say the wrong thing or offend them or something. What should one say, anyhow?
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  #2  
Unread 1st December 2003, 10:05 PM
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Originally Posted by blaah4Him
Well, one of my friends just lost his grandfather...and this has happened a lot, but I always get anxious over what I should say to someone who has just lost a loved one. I'm always afraid I'll say the wrong thing or offend them or something. What should one say, anyhow?
It depends on the situation. This is one I struggle with too. I think the best thing to do is tell them you care. Tell them you don't know what to say, sometimes the best thing to do is be there, even if you don't say anything.

Make sure they are taking care of themselves. Sometimes when people are grieving they don't want to eat, shower, and do other things that they may normally do.

Also, don't assume that in a few weeks time they are "over it" sometimes it takes a while to work through the grieving process, and the time it takes sometimes depends on how close they were to the person who died. Be available to talk, even if they still want to talk about it 6 months from now.
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  #3  
Unread 1st December 2003, 11:16 PM
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Was this persons Grandfather a Christian?
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  #4  
Unread 1st December 2003, 11:24 PM
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Personally, I would say avoid cliches. I lost my father, then within weeks lost my brother. If one more person came up to me and told me they "were in a better place", I was going to scream. Yes, they were both Christians. I KNEW they were in a better place, but that didn't ease MY pain any. I know the people who offered that phrase were at a loss as to what else to say, so I would just smile and agree with them.

Other than avoiding cliches, I would say anything that comes from your heart would be welcomed. Thank you for your post. It's a good question.
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  #5  
Unread 2nd December 2003, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by blaah4Him
Well, one of my friends just lost his grandfather...and this has happened a lot, but I always get anxious over what I should say to someone who has just lost a loved one. I'm always afraid I'll say the wrong thing or offend them or something. What should one say, anyhow?
Sometimes words are unfitting..Sometimes hugs and shared tears are the way that eases the time of the passing. In the face of sorrow the best way to uplift someone is to show them the love you have for them.
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  #6  
Unread 2nd December 2003, 12:59 PM
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A hug and a caring smile goes a long way. Let's the person know that you are there. If they want to talk, just make sure you listen, and they know you are listening. As far as what to say all you can say is "I'm sorry for your loss". Nothing you can do will bring them back.
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