Let's face it. Whether they're called parole, probation or community service officers, it's hard to blame them for getting cold and cynical. They've been conned, lied to, flimflammed, you name it. My eight years in corrections taught me that, though many inmates were nice enough guys, they were control freaks who couldn't get it through their heads that what they were doing didn't work.
So, keep in mind that your CSO has a lot of reason for her attitude; and that it's largely up to you to build a positive relationship with her. You want her to be an ally, not an adversary.
I once saw a PO spend three hours of his off-duty time in my book-in office calling lawyers, judges, and treatment facilities because a client with whom he had this kind of relationship had been brought in for what was nothing more, really, than getting into a situation that was over her head. Thanks to him, she spent the night in treatment, not jail. When these guys see that you are trying as hard as you can to do what you're supposed to do and said you'd do, they can move mountains. But you can't blame them if, when they see you don't really care, are lying to them or trying a con, they descend on you like a bad smell.
Glad to know things are generally going well but, you know something? I'm not surprised. It's just amazing what can happen when you admit you're powerless and turn it over.
thanks for your input bob, i can see where that is good advice.
thoughti would update here, in case anyone was wondering where i went.
been quite busy lately, still dry, i hit 9 months a couple weeks ago.
i saw my community supervision officer again, she was actually pleasant, and didnt make me wee in a cup. i provided more documentation rewquored oif me so that went well. (child support, invoices and receipts, AA sign in sheets, stuff like that). last week i got signed up for a dwi class im rewuired to take. i missed a required class i set out to do, but was too baked from work that day, man it was 106 that day and i worked all day long in the sun next to a stucco building and asphault. im mean i was really baked, took me over a week to recooperate. anyhow i can still take it next month and still be within the deadline. i have only 7 hous of sommuntiy service left and it will be done this friday. they sent me to a nearby church adn have been working iwth the maintenance guys doing odd jobs. last week i helped dismantle an old copier then suggested we make a rolling owrk bench instead of traching it. they loved it and let me make it. i found some scrap wood and screws and fabricated it for them. then they found me some paint and it got purdy. i actually ahd fun at community service.
i hit a major goal last weekend too, i had saved up to buy an alternator for my play truck. also ended up replacing the battery but at least i got it pro rated so it was cheap. that truck hasnt been driven in about a year. i was in deep financial trouble before i got that dwi. so i went to a friends house who let me park it there since december. after getting it running he offered to trailer it to the offroad park for me so it was a huge bonus. i only set the goal of getting it started, but then ended up getting to drive it some. when i go there we went down to a new rope swing for a while. it was very fulfilling. the next day it broke but im not worried or sdtressing, i love working on my trucl and tinkering around with it when it ills. the rear wheel bearing went out so i already priced it at 13 bucks. ill do both sides so it will be 26 bucks and i already have gear oil.
so good things have been happening for me, i got my folks back in church as well as myself, and they are nwo interested in joining a sunday school class.
work has been picking up a little so i can pay some bills and stuff.
i have been too busy/tired to hit the gym so i have gotten a little soft in the middle, but i am tring to get my butt back in there.
i better go i am so tired, very sleepy.
thank you guys for yor prayers, and please dont stop. i can always use more.
hi everyone, just wanted to pop in for an update.
its been a while so here goes:
work had slowed to a grinding halt so im broke and trying to keep up but not. i started looking into a sunday school class, i will try a few till i feel right about it. my folks have landed in one and are happy with it. ive been to the gym a tiny bit, but trying to get in more. i reconnected with an old friend and he has been driving me to work for a few weeks, giving my dad a break. the heat of summer is going now so we dont get baked so much now.
i finally was to the point that i started working on my toy truck. never had time funds or personal stability till now. i got it running a few weeks ago, it had been stored at a friends house who was nice enough to offer to store it for free. (almost a year) so i replaced battery and alternator. then he offered to haul it for me to an offroad park nearby where it is now stored and i drive it on the trails every weekend. ill narrow this sown but i had problems and had to spend a little more and put in some sweat and labor. i drove it twice and had to replace the rear axle. droive it twice more and had to rework the front bearings. then i got replacement front axles and installed them. it was a major effort for me but i got it done. drove it a few times and now the transmission is giving me a hard time. it works, just doesnt want to shift. so now its running in 4x4 now it makes me happy.
im am doing so much better now and seem to be able to be happy. that is not to say tha ti dont have problems or issues, but i have come a long way since last october. in more ways than one.
so i have still been dry since october 13th, 2008
still hit aa at least twice a week, and not very tempted to have a beer. only a couple of times when pressures mount up, but i simply recall the orange jumpsuit, bars, and very unpleasant people having the right to treat me unpleasantly. the temptation goes away very fast.
Congratulations on almost 11 months of sobriety. That is awesome.
Sounds like you are trying to put life together and develop opportunities for learning and fellowship.
Keep up the good work. How are you doing on the steps? I am working on my fourth.
Hugs,
Trish
__________________ Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too. Albert Schweitzer
well folks, two more days , it will be a year of being dry.
im not having any issues wanting to drink beer. every once in a while i get stressed and can taste it from memory though. i go to meetings about 3 or 4 times a week.
i put in a rewuest to go camping with my group. it is important that i make it this time. last year at this time i was set to go, but i got arrested instead adn went downt the long road of having a criminal case based on alcohol. this trip, if they let me go, will be an important date in sobriety for me. i sure hope they let me go. i added on my request that everyone in the group is aware of my sobriety and happy with it and for me.
now today was weird. ive been depressed quite a bit lately due to finances and other things in my life. just depressed and lonely, nothing to do with alcohol. so i go to church and head for my sunday school class. now ive been there a few weeks, missed a couple times for various reasons. im gettting accustomed to it, and the people there, had lunch wiht the class last week. also im wanting to start going to some of the events they have planned. (considering i can line up a ride with someone there)
so i head on late and find a seat. i then notice a new girl there, not seeing her face i see she is quite an eye pleaser. im not there for that, but i notice those things. a few minutes goes by and i take a glance back her way. I knew this girl! way back in this thread im sure i mentioned her.
it was the girl i dated that strongly encouraged me to get drunk!
CRAP, I was already out of sorts, didnt feel like going there today bnut went. I felt very uncomfortable, and it looked like she was talking about joining the class. also i was finally ready to sit with the class during regular service. nope, she sat with them. I dont want to be near or have anything to do with this girl. she hurt me in march.
she knew i went to that church, and i cant quit thinking about why she is there. i try but cant quit. this is really sitting heavy on me. i can think a several reasons why she may be there, none of them good.
so after the service i noticed she had kids with her. making me think of more reasons she is there, none of them good. (there was a restraining order keeping her from her kids, or so i was told)
i rode my bike to the store for tobacco, and asked got to take it away from me, the thoughts, the worry, the decision. i am thinking of talking to the class assistant teacher who i know.
i think she is a very bad person but still i prayed for her to be touched by god, and that she not just be there shopping for a man with money. yes, she is that bad.
so it looks like this posting turned into a whine fest, sorry about that, i just needed to get it off my chest. i think i will try to go to that class at least one more time, but not sure where i will go with my plans to be more active with my class.
wish me luck, and pray for my future with all my problems and for the mean one.
We all go through times like that. The important thing is you're not drinking and, with the grace of God, on your way to one year!
You're right to steer shy but, unless you think it's a threat to your sobriety, I wouldn't change churches. Who knows, maybe time will show she's there to get God's help to get sober! Wait, see, don't rush.
Nobody here ... nobody... minds a whine fest! Fact is, I have'em all the time!
ill follow that advice bob, ill go. next time i see that person i will ask how things are , and be nice. she may have hit bottom and changed her ways. i dont see it happening but im good at being wrong.
i did finally get that permission to go camping, took me six weeks. unfortunately things have changed since then and i need a new permit to travel. ive been trying 2 days now, and all i need is to add a name to it since the original person i was going with may not go with the group. wow, ive been calling since thursday morning and its friday at 12:40 pm. we are supposed to leave around 4, i stiil need the permit, plus a ride across town to get it, and be back here before they leave.
cutting it close. im all packed and ready to hit the road but i may not make it. maybe its not part of the plan.
well guys, im 385 days dry, great feeling. having a good day today, just wanted to stop in to say hi and update this thread.
i got to go camping, went down to 3 pm that friday before i had a go. we left at 4, is that close or what? it was an awesome time up there in the woods, went on haunted trail ride and go to see all kinds of neat things.
some drunk fool wrecked into my friends truck and it was nasty for about 3 hours. he didnt hurt the guy but did yank him out of the truck, the kid deserved it. since it was on private property there was nothing that could be done about it. one of the witnesses did beat the tar of of him, everyone wanted to. we think he did it on purpose. my friend just finished spending two weeks on building up "her" truck and they just got engaged so it was especially infuriating to him.
after the fight, someone called the cops and here they come, it was about 4 am by this time and the cop was not happy to be there. he stormed on the scene and pointed his assault rifle at my friend. in the end he was giving my friend a citation to which he smarted off. not a good idea, that got him arrested, and the park ejected his fiancee and thier driver. wow, what a weekend, they got him out a few hours later and he is going to sue that kid for totalling his girls truck.
so, the group i went with took about 30 cases of beer, too many bottles of booze to count and at least a thousand jello shots! was i tempted?
NO WAY! never had a slightest desire to put that poison in my mouth! although at one point i was hungry and the flying jello shots seemed like food, but i turned them down, only once was it offered to me by a friend who was testing me. LOL, we joked about it too.
so that whole weekend was awesome, good friends who know i wont drink, and a memory of the trip it took me a year to achieve. we ate at the little mexican joint on the way back and had a good trip home.
now in december im planning another camping trip with another group, and i wll be driving myself this time!! my license suspension is up on the 11th, so on the 12th i get to drive!! I need a travel permit but i think it will be fine, i will be driving and im doing everything right so i dont see a problem.
since i did all the paperwork for proof of income, my quarterly tax filing only took a record 20 minutes to complete! when i used to drink they took about a week to do cause i had such crappy book keeping. now im on top of things and think, focus and remember things.
i missed my sunday school class while camoing and the following week, but made it yesterday. good lesson, and had lunch with the class afterwards. then we went to move houshold stuff for a member. i did hear mention of the mean girl, sounds like she is now a member. i have talked about that situatoin to a couple of people. i have completely let it go, gave it to god, not to let me worry or stress over it. i have been praying for her, that she comes to know jesus and has changed her ways. also that she walks with god in her life and sincerely is in church for those reasons.
halloween night i went to a party with costumes and all. they had a keg and lots of other alcohol. again, i was not tempted in the least. in fact i had an interestingly fun time watching all them people drinking. i wasnt sure i was even going since i cant drive. as a fluke i got to go but was there very early. so people kept coming, and were all sober when they got there. after a while i could see a lot of them getting their eyes all glazed over and sloppy. yup, i stayed sober and saw a lot of them get drunk. very interesting feeling to see that and think, wow, thats what it looks like from this side of the fence.
i go to my local aa 2 to 4 times a week. theres a guy there that says the meetings are like medicine for him, and i agree. the things i hear there keep me from being "sick" .
i have been blessed with some income in the last two weeks, and again tonight i have work that pays well. i should be able to rock and roll when i start driving, find some new work and start saving money.
ok i need to go now, i think i have talked about most of the things that are going on with me right now. thank you all for your support, advice, and prayers.
im going to enjoy this beautiful weather and make the most of my day!
i just wanted to post an update here, i get to start driving again, TODAY!
i lost my license for a year and it has really driven me up the wall. i have a business luncheon and i am going for nutricalm since i just ran out. i have tons of plans for the weekend and for next few weeks. i want to visit lots of people who helped me get around and stuff.
im going to a singles meet up camping thing friday night and look forward to meeting some new people.
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