Before she moved away, i once had a friend that i could comfortably curl up on the couch with and we would watch a film together. We never dated, boundries were crossed, we were just close buds. Cuddling up (and this is just my opinion) isn't such a bad thing. For me, it was more of a way to say: I'm comfortable with you. It's a way to show affection, much like those long hugs you talked about.
Granted, it's not that way for everyone, as you illustrated. And that's fine too.
If I may ask, how did you guys start cuddling? For some reason, I find it strange to go up to my male friend and ask, "Hey, you want to be cuddle buddies? I'm not attracted to you but I just want that closeness." I'm pretty sure he wouldn't know what to say!
And was this a secret between the two of you or were you allowed to share it with your friends? And do you plan to keep this a secret from your future girlfriend?
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It was common knowledge, other friends and even family knew that we were great friends. I wouldn't keep it from anyone in the future either, i don't really see a point in that.
I don't remember a specific way that it started. I do recall a time where she was struggling with tragedy and i offered to drive around town with her and let her talk it out. By the end of our time through that she gave me a big hug and told me how much it meant that i would drive around at 3:00 in the morning and let her vent. And likewise i know she would have done the same for me. That's when i knew we were just really close. And i think finding that comfort level spawned from that.
I don't think i would have just cuddled up on the couch with any friend, just because i could. It was a mutual thing, we both knew that we cared for each other a lot. We were pretty tight, so that was a factor.
__________________ My time on the forums is done. I will check my profile to pass out blessings, that is all. For those of you who know me and wish to continue contact, you know how to reach me. Godspeed.
The dominant characteristic of an authentic spiritual life is the gratitude that flows from trust—not only for all the gifts that I receive from God, but gratitude for all the suffering. Because in that purifying experience, suffering has often been the shortest path to intimacy with God. ~Brennan Manning
If she started developing feelings for you and actually let you know about it, would you continue to cuddle her? Or was cuddling like something you two would only do given that it was understood that neither of you had feelings for the other?
The thing with me is that I never know who's interested in me unless if the guy says so. This is why I could be leading someone on by cuddling with him. Also, the last time I hugged someone, this person actually told me he had feelings for me, so it was like I had an awakening that I had been leading him on the whole time with these hugs.
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If she started developing feelings for you and actually let you know about it, would you continue to cuddle her? Or was cuddling like something you two would only do given that it was understood that neither of you had feelings for the other?
There was never a romantic interest between the two of us. I'm not sure how to really answer it. If she found herself wanting more than a friendship, and i wasn't looking for that, I wouldn't want to feed any hopes in her if she saw cuddling as a sign to something else. If there were the case i would likely stop.
The thing with me is that I never know who's interested in me unless if the guy says so. This is why I could be leading someone on by cuddling with him. Also, the last time I hugged someone, this person actually told me he had feelings for me, so it was like I had an awakening that I had been leading him on the whole time with these hugs.
But you had no intention of leading him on, it's not like you knew you were doing it. A hug is a very common form of simple affection.
__________________ My time on the forums is done. I will check my profile to pass out blessings, that is all. For those of you who know me and wish to continue contact, you know how to reach me. Godspeed.
The dominant characteristic of an authentic spiritual life is the gratitude that flows from trust—not only for all the gifts that I receive from God, but gratitude for all the suffering. Because in that purifying experience, suffering has often been the shortest path to intimacy with God. ~Brennan Manning
It depends how you hug, I guess. If it's a quick one, then it's no big deal, but if the other person makes it a prolong hug, and and put the side of his head on yours, or even touch your hair while he hugs, then it's not just a hug but there are feelings involved.
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Well... i don't know how you can really guage a hug. I suppose it depends on the personality of the people hugging and how they embrace the idea of certain types of affection. It's not that way for everyone.
__________________ My time on the forums is done. I will check my profile to pass out blessings, that is all. For those of you who know me and wish to continue contact, you know how to reach me. Godspeed.
The dominant characteristic of an authentic spiritual life is the gratitude that flows from trust—not only for all the gifts that I receive from God, but gratitude for all the suffering. Because in that purifying experience, suffering has often been the shortest path to intimacy with God. ~Brennan Manning
I am 23 and I have never had a boyfriend but all of my family and friends think I am lieing when I say this. I am not attracted to most of the guys too and I get lonely.I think s it normal to get lonely ,but u should avoid touching a guy. You are asking for trouble , Guys thinks differently than women.
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