Katie's Haus - The Confessional Lutheran Wives' Thread

LutheranChick · #11 12th March 2009, 01:34 PM

Originally Posted by joyfulthanks

A question to think about today: What one change could we make about ourselves or the way that we relate to our husbands that would bless them the most?

For me, I already know that my husband would like me to take better care of my health (eat better, get more exercise). I'm working on the eating better part, but I still haven't figured out how I to best approach the exercise part. I really need to give that some thought.

Feel free to ask me how I'm doing in those two areas anytime. Accountability is a good thing.

Does your husband exercise? I just wondered, if he does, perhaps you can exercise with him? My DH jogs and walks. I started walking with him (I had to put my foot down and make it very clear to him that I wanted and needed to walk, needed to be encouraged and wanted to walk with him). We very much enjoy our walks together. It is quality time we can spend with each other and get our exercise all at the same time!

joyfulthanks · #12 12th March 2009, 04:16 PM

Originally Posted by QuiltAngel

But the take better care of myself mentally really showed a need this winter. That I am working on. Lots of wonderful people starting with my husband, a friend online and doctors.

That's a good goal. What kinds of things are you doing to take better care of yourself mentally, if you don't mind me asking?

Originally Posted by QuiltAngel

Between the exercise and eating less, I have lost about 10 pounds since late January.

That's awesome!!!

Originally Posted by QuiltAngel

During this time, there have been many Psalms which I have turned to. I will post a few later.

I would love to see those.

joyfulthanks · #13 12th March 2009, 04:19 PM

Originally Posted by LutheranChick

Does your husband exercise? I just wondered, if he does, perhaps you can exercise with him? My DH jogs and walks. I started walking with him (I had to put my foot down and make it very clear to him that I wanted and needed to walk, needed to be encouraged and wanted to walk with him). We very much enjoy our walks together. It is quality time we can spend with each other and get our exercise all at the same time!

We love to walk together, too! Our schedule, and my allergies have been hampering our ability to do so lately, though.

I think our schedule will be easing up quite a bit in about 3 weeks, so perhaps we can start then.

One thing I'm trying to do in eating better is just to make better choices little by little. I think that little choices really do add up in the long run. So though I'm not trying to drop my extra 25 lbs overnight, I do think they will come off gradually over the next year or so.

QuiltAngel · #14 12th March 2009, 05:56 PM

Here are some I have written down.

Psalm 25:4-5
Pasalm 25:1-2a
Psalm 31:1-5
Psalm 27:14
Psalm 103
Psalm 119

Then 1 Corinthians 10:13 has meant a lot to me too.

There are others, but these are a start.

What have I done? Well, lots of things. Been seeing a therapist and have started taking some meds. Identifying some issues. Working on those. Trying to replace negative self talk with more positive. Exercise more on a regular basis.

Setting some long term goals so I don't feel so stuck with things I can not change in the present. That sounds worse than it is. I am the wife of a Pastor in a very rural area. Because of this, I can and do feel isolated and lonely.

QuiltAngel · #15 12th March 2009, 06:59 PM

One of my favorite hymns is, "My Hope is Built on Nothing Less." During my recent dark times, this hymn reminded my that even though it seemed like everything around me was a mess, Jesus was the same as always. Solid and only in Him do I dare have Hope. Only the Hope He can give.

joyfulthanks · #16 12th March 2009, 08:21 PM

Originally Posted by QuiltAngel

Here are some I have written down.

Psalm 25:4-5
Pasalm 25:1-2a
Psalm 31:1-5
Psalm 27:14
Psalm 103
Psalm 119

Then 1 Corinthians 10:13 has meant a lot to me too.

There are others, but these are a start.

Thanks for posting these. I'll be sure to look them up.

Originally Posted by QuiltAngel

What have I done? Well, lots of things. Been seeing a therapist and have started taking some meds. Identifying some issues. Working on those. Trying to replace negative self talk with more positive. Exercise more on a regular basis.

It sounds to me like you've gotten over the biggest hump just in the fact that you are working at overcoming your depression. I've only had mild depression at different times, but even with that, it was so difficult to do much of anything at all. The fact that you are doing all that is great!

Originally Posted by QuiltAngel

Setting some long term goals so I don't feel so stuck with things I can not change in the present. That sounds worse than it is. I am the wife of a Pastor in a very rural area. Because of this, I can and do feel isolated and lonely.

Isolated and lonely is no fun. I've been both of those way many times in my life. As a matter of fact, I am just coming out of such a time. And feeling stuck that way definitely makes it worse.

You know, I really appreciate what you are doing to serve the Lord. I can imagine how being a pastor's wife in a rural area could be very lonely. Thank you so much for serving the Lord where He has placed you. I may not be one of your parishoners, but as one of God's sheep, I appreciate your love for Him and the sacrifices you make for His people.

QuiltAngel · #17 12th March 2009, 08:59 PM

Thanks. My winter has been long and hard. Had some pretty dark days in January. It took the proverbial "bottom for me" to realize where I was at the time. I still have many low days. Trying to decide whether a day is a "good" low day or a "bad" low day can be a challenge.

Looking back, I can see this has been a growing problem for a while now. Hitting my bottom was scary, but thankfully, God had placed a person in my life who was able to help me see what was really happening, encourage and prayed with and for me. Thankfully, this happened before things got any worse. My husband has been great and supportive through all this too.

Sorry, didn't mean to take the discussion in this direction. Just was answering what I am doing for myself and my husband for my/our health.

The other good thing I did was to get a WiiFit and now make a goal of exercising most everyday. Seeing progress there has been very helpful.

joyfulthanks · #18 12th March 2009, 11:29 PM

Originally Posted by QuiltAngel

Sorry, didn't mean to take the discussion in this direction. Just was answering what I am doing for myself and my husband for my/our health.

This direction is just fine!

These are the things that you are dealing with right now that affect your life and marriage, and that's what this thread is for - sharing what's going on and encouraging one another.

I think it's awesome that you're taking such a proactive approach. I need to do a better job of that. I've been letting the whole area of my physical health slide, and I need to work hard on that.

This morning when I was getting dressed, I had a thought occur to me that I needed to stop abusing God's grace when it comes to my health. He has been very merciful to me, even though I have not being a very good steward of my body for several years now. It is time that I stop that.

I did really well today - made good food choices, and ate in moderation. There are things that I love (like coffee and tea) that have a bad effect on my health, and I've had trouble giving them up. But I found some nice herb tea today, and I think having a substitute will make it somewhat easier.

Anyway, thank you for sharing what's going on with you, Jane, and the steps you are taking to help. Hearing how you're committed to the changes you've made is encouraging!

WildStrawberry · #19 13th March 2009, 12:34 AM

Hi everyone! As usual I'm a day late and several dollars short but I just found this thread! What a wonderful idea! I was hoping for something like this to come along.

I'm still a lot spacey right now so my brain isn't really up to answering the above question but I will!

I just want to say that, if ANY of you need to talk...I am here. I will PM you my phone number and if you need me to call back (I have unlimited long distance) I can do that. Sometimes, it's GOOD to have an ear to pour your woes into. Especially one that's been there or is there where you are now. (Conservative, God fearing, Hubs is the head of the household women.)

Kae

Flipper · #20 13th March 2009, 12:59 AM

Maybe you ladies can help me with this. There are some people in my church who think we don't have a healthy marriage because we don't see each other all the time, and he doesn't go to church with me all the time. He's in retail. He works every other Sunday. Sometimes my work gets crazy. Sometimes we'll go a couple of weeks without a meaningful conversation any further than "hi sweety, how's it going." We knew this going in, and have a "quality vs. quantity" attitude about it. We know it can potentially become a problem once the kids get here and we are already talking about how best to rearrange ourselves for what's best for the kids and us. Our 10th Anniversary is tomorrow, and we probably won't see each other. However, we leave on Sunday for a week in Jamaica, where we went on our honeymoon.

The comments are starting to get hurtful. We have some new couples in our Bible Study and they think it's strange that I go without him - well, he has to work - at least until we have a 5th Friday in a month and then he'll be able to go (we meet on the 2nd and 4th Fridays every month).

I shouldn't have to feel like I have to defend us, but I do.