Ianthe's frown deepened with Hajari's accusation. She wasn't twisting anything around! He was apparently just too dumb to figure anything out on his own! "Raising the child means if you want to teach the kid how to walk without falling on its ass, then do it! It doesn't mean you have the ultimate say in important decisions, the household included." None of this "the man is the head of the house" crap. She wasn't going to go through that again. If anyone was going to have that title, it was going to be her. Period. Leaning forward on the table, she continued, "I'd rather you keep your mouth shut when I make a decision, but if you absolutely feel the need to disagree with something I say, then do it. But don't expect me to change my mind every time." Or a lot, for that matter. She took his advice once with her kid even when her instincts were telling her to do the opposite, and it was turning out to be really pitiful.
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Hajari sighed, lifting one hand to his face and covering his eye and his patch. He closed his eye, licking his lips. There were times where Ianthe completely exhausted his brain. Calm down, Hajari. She's actually starting to make sense. Finally. Didn't mean he liked what he was hearing, but at least she was being more clear. "I never wanted the ultimate say in decisions, Ianthe." He countered, running his hand down his face. That would have been stupid of him. Declaring that he would be making the decisions and that was it, no questions asked. Opening his eye, he met her gaze. "But that doesn't mean I want to be told to shut my damn mouth whenever I might want to make a suggestion either."
Shaking his head, Hajari lowered his gaze to the table, his eye on his plate. "I understand you'll be spending the most time with the kid out of the two of us. Which means you'll probably know her better, and you'll probably know what's best for her more than I would." He admitted grudgingly. He wanted to know his daughter and for her to know him, if indeed the baby was a girl. But he would be working, hopefully in a military career, and he'd be away a lot. So Ianthe would be the primary parent. "But I might have some good ideas sometimes too. And I want you to come to me with difficult decisions so we can talk about them and I can help you." He closed his eye, cringing a little inside at that word. He knew she hated it, and he told her so. "I know you hate help." He opened his eye. "But this is our child. It's my responsibility as her father to help."
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Ianthe hated when Hajari kept referring to their unborn child as "she". For some reason it always sent a chill down her spine. Though she didn't hate it as much as when he mentioned coming to him for help, and that felt a lot more harder on her body than a light shiver. She shook her head before Hajari even had all the words out of his mouth. "I don't need the help, all right?" She stated firmly. "For as long as I can remember I've been doing things on my own, and I've survived every single moment." Granted, it had been barely, but somehow she'd actually come away from everything breathing and fully functional.
Her eyes flickered down to the table as she continued, her voice stressing every word, "I don't need help with this baby, and I don't want help. I don't understand why you all can't get that through your damn minds." Really, why was it difficult? Why did everyone insist she should accept people's assistance? It wasn't her fault they were all too weak to get by on their own! But it sure as hell didn't mean she was that way, too!
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As expected, Ianthe refused his help. There was no reasoning with her on this subject. At all. He hated that fact, because that meant she would shut him out of anything concerning his child. But he wasn't going to be able to change her mind. He clenched his jaw. "Fine, Ianthe." He met her gaze, holding it. "But you were the one mentioning us probably screwing up our child's life. To me, that sounds like we're going to need to help eachother."
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Put yourself in her shoes.
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Why she waits for the day...
When you ask her her name.
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Ianthe looked up at Hajari. "It means we were never meant to be parents, Hajari," She said. "Us working together to raise this child would be no different than if I did it on my own." Hesitating, she then quickly went on, "And I could do it on my own. You want to be involved, for whatever crazy reason, then fine. I'll let you, but that doesn't mean I need you in order to do this."
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What was her problem? Why was she so obsessed over this? Hajari couldn't figure it out. He knew she didn't need his help, except maybe for money...to help the kid have a more stable home. She could raise the kid. Hell! He could raise the kid too! Anyone could. Didn't mean they'd do a good job, would probably screw the kid up for life, but that wasn't the point. He could raise the child without help if he wanted to. But that wouldn't be what was best for the kid.
So why was she so insistent on it? That she have control and no one else? Telling him she was going to let him be involved in his own child's life! "I don't get where this is coming from. I never said you couldn't do it on your own. Ever. I just said I was going to be there right beside you." He folded his arms across his chest, staring at her. "When you first told me about the baby, and I mentioned my concern about being a good father, you told me that you knew I'd do all right. Well, part of being a good father is being in on making decisions for your child." He lifted his shoulders in a slight shrug. "So what's changed? Why can't I be trusted now? Or was that all crap that you fed me for some reason?"
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Why she waits for the day...
When you ask her her name.
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Why was Hajari twisting her words around? And when the hell did he become an expert on what it took to be a good father? He'd openly admitted to her he had no idea what he'd be doing, and now not only did he suddenly know, but was expecting her to trust him. Where did he even get the matter of trust anyway? "Damn it, Hajari," Ianthe swore, running one hand up over her head. "This is has nothing to do with you being a good father or not. I want to be in control, I want to make the decisions, and I want to do this. Period. You could be anyone else in the world, and I would still feel that way."
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Hajari still didn't know why this was so important to her. He couldn't figure it out. She had been so afraid of screwing up the kid's life that she and Hajari had been considering putting the baby up for adoption. And now she wanted to do it all herself? Something had changed. He didn't know what...but something had to have changed.
He lifted one hand and rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh. "Fine, Ianthe. You're in control." He conceded, his voice defeated, his eye on her plate instead of her, feeling resentment build up in his gut. Why did she have to pull crap like this? He'd thought they were going to be parents together. But apparently she wanted to be a single mom, with him around to do what...yell at? Complain to? Blame mistakes on? "I'll just make the money and change crappy diapers and back you up whenever the kid inevitably complains to me that you're not being fair for some reason." He let out a snort and gave a sarcastic smile, a thought occuring to him. "Oh, but you don't need my help doing those things either, so nevermind." He lifted his gaze to meet hers, pushing himself up and standing as he dropped his hands to his sides. "When you figure out what exactly you're going to let me do with my own child? Let me know." With that, he shoved his hands into his pockets and strode casually from the room.
He was done. Done playing this game with her where she told him one thing and then later on completely changed everything on him. He honestly didn't know which way was up anymore when it came to her. He'd only been trying to comfort her when Carlos had gotten angry. But he should have known just to keep his mouth shut. Because nothing he did ever pleased her. Ever! Why even try anymore, Hajari? Just accept that she'll hate whatever it is you say or do and move on. Right. Why get frustrated over something that wouldn't change? Still, Hajari had a bad feeling he'd never stop trying to please her.
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Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible.
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Put yourself in her shoes.
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Look a little closer, and maybe then you will see
Why she waits for the day...
When you ask her her name.
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Ianthe hated this. Hated every bit of it. The more Hajari spoke, the more she just wanted to smack that stupid smirk off his face. He was mocking her in every way conceivable with every sentence that came from his lips. And suddenly she was irate; not only with him but with the baby. Why did it have to come into their lives? But it's not its fault. As Carlos so clearly pointed out, you didn't even try to prevent its creation. And that thought? Only made her more furious. But this time at herself for being such an immature woman, unable to control her own desires. How much different would her life had been if she'd actually resisted Hajari?
She turned to watch him walk away before standing herself, marching after him. She stopped at the door though, looking out to see him making his way down the hall, and she yelled after him, "Until you decide to accept it, stay the hell away!" Then she slammed the door and locked it. Honestly, she didn't expect him to come back, but if by chance he did, she didn't want him in there.
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~That Same Evening~
Rizzo was excited. He kept his eyes on the coinpurse as he slipped on his Glahndurian shoes, grinning from ear to ear. It was getting lumpy. Which meant there were actually coins in there! He'd been working there a little over two weeks and had gotten his second payment last night, not to mention the tips he picked up every night. The men at the pub tipped the barmaids more than they tipped him, but there were still those who remembered the man mixing and pouring the drinks.
He strode over to the dresser and picked up the coinpurse, giving it a jingle. Lord he loved that sound! It was the sound of his future with Maura. Keep making money like this and he wouldn't have to hide his love from her too much longer. Maybe another couple months or so and he'd have enough to at least rent a place if he needed to. He tossed the coinpurse in the air and then caught it before tucking it safely into the middle drawer of his dresser, underneath his breeches. He shut the drawer and then grabbed his flute, tying it to his belt and then heading for the door. He'd taken his flute once about a week ago and quite a few people had asked him to play, giving him extra tips after a song. Since then, he'd taken it every night, just in case. They didn't ask him to play every night, but he'd still gotten a few more tips from it.
Opening the door, Rizzo stepped out into the hall and began to whistle as he shut the door behind him. Then, with his hands in his pockets, he headed down the hall, ready for another night at work.
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Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible.
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Why she waits for the day...
When you ask her her name.
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