Inhaling a slow, deep breath, Ianthe ran her hands up over her hair and leaned away from the table as Hajari spoke. "Well, I hope not," She said, plopping her hands into her lap. "There's nothing I can tell him. Nothing. At all. He's going to want to know what all happened, what happened to me, and I can't tell him." She shrugged. "I'll just be sitting there like a blasted deer, frozen and about to be struck with an arrow." If she opened her mouth and told him the truth, he wouldn't believe it anyway. If she opened her mouth and told him lies, he'd probably find out eventually. Either way she'd be a pathetic parent.
Ianthe picked up her fork and began pushing around some of the food on her plate, thinking. Man, did she feel helpless. Like a silly fool. What the hell made her think having her son with her was such a good idea? She looked back up at Hajari, shaking her head slowly. "I hate being a parent. Children just cause you grief." Pausing, she glanced down at her stomach while poking at it with her fork. "And you're no exception." Now, after having lived for only a few months in parent hell, she could understand why her own parents left her.
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Hajari wasn't sure what to say. She had a point. There really wasn't anything she could tell the boy without revealing everything. And that wasn't an option. She couldn't tell him that his father raped her until she became pregnant and then beat her nearly to death when she tried to run away with the boys. Not only would Carlos think she was nuts, but if he did believe her...things like that could traumatize a kid.
He watched with a little bit of amusement as she poked her fork at her ever-growing stomach. He could see the bump now even when she was fully clothed. It hit him sometimes, when he saw it, made him realize just how fast this nine months was going by, just how little time he had left before the baby was actually here with them. But then he just went out and pummeled a dummy for awhile or went for a run and his head cleared. He couldn't imagine how it must be for Ianthe, unable to escape that. And she was probably feeling it more right now, having just gotten another taste of parenthood. This is what you have to look forward to, Hajari. Fights with your child.
Hajari rested his arms on the table, leaning forward. "The worst is almost behind you." He said, nodding. "You finally told him. That's half of it." He paused, looking her in the eyes. "You'll get through the questions too. I know you will." He'd offer to help, but she'd just refuse. That was one thing he'd learned about Ianthe. She would never ask for help.
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Ianthe eyed Hajari for awhile, silent. She wished the worst was behind her...or was he forgetting about the fact they had their own on the way who would raise more hell for a longer number of years? Yes, they'd already made the decision to keep the baby and were now married because of it, but there were still some days, like that day, where she wished she could just get rid of both of her kids. Hand them over to someone else and wave goodbye.
"Well, I should never have told him," Ianthe said, tossing her fork on the plate with a clang. "I should have just sent him back." Though now she wasn't sure what was going to happen. Her son knew who she really was. How long would he actually stay before putting up a bigger fight? Growling, she rubbed her brow with her fingers of both hands, and mumbled, "You and Rizzo really need to stay out of my business." Damn them for convincing her this had been the right thing to do! Neither one had kids! They didn't know what the hell they were talking about! She should have listened to her own instincts about this, and kept it to herself.
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Hajari really didn't think it was fair that she was lumping him in there with Rizzo. Sure, Hajari had told her she should tell Carlos the truth. But the two of them had come to an understanding about Carlos weeks ago, where he'd told her he would support the decisions she made regarding him...even if it meant sending him back to his father. Hajari really didn't like that idea, but after having spoken with Rizzo, it seemed Carlos didn't have too bad of a life there. So, Hajari had kept his mouth shut lately about telling Carlos the truth. Rizzo hadn't, of course. Kept dropping little hints here and there. But still, Hajari had tried to be supportive lately instead of trying to tell her what to do regarding her son.
He frowned, eyeing her as she rubbed her temples. "Don't throw me in with Rizzo, Ianthe." He said, his voice low as he gave his head a small shake. "As I told you before, I'd support whatever decision you made regarding Carlos, even if I don't agree with it. He's your son. Not mine." Had she forgotten he'd said that or was she simply choosing to ignore it so she had him to blame? Sometimes she seemed to blame him for a lot.
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Ianthe dropped her hands, and looked up at him. "You're right," She said. "He isn't your son. You don't even have a son, which means you have no experience in deciding what's right or not right for a child." But stupidly, she'd believed him anyway. For the first time in a long time she'd actually agreed with him when it came to telling Carlos the truth, and now she was paying for it. What the hell was she thinking? "So next time you have the urge to disagree with me about something regarding my children, don't open your mouth."
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Hajari's frown deepened. Here he was trying to make her feel better, trying to tell her he understood and she was still attacking him? Besides, she didn't have much more experience than he did. She'd been a mother for what...all of a few months when her boys were babies? She didn't have experience with children either. Where did she come off acting like she did? And basically blaming him for the entire situation she was in!
He narrowed his eye. "I'm not Carlos' father, but I am this baby's." He said, his voice growing a bit more firm. She'd said her children. Well, one of them was his. "So I have as much right as you do to say what goes on in her life." He nodded sharply. "And you may be Carlos' mother, but you don't have any more experience in parenting a thirteen-year-old boy than I do. So don't sit there and try to act like this is somehow entirely my fault, because it's not."
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Ianthe frowned. When had she ever placed the blame on him? All she'd wanted was for him to stay out of her business when it came to her and her children. If he had a different opinion then he could just keep it to himself. "I didn't say it was your fault!" She said loudly, though she wasn't shouting. "I said to shut your damn mouth because I don't want to be foolishly pulled into believing your words anymore!" Using her forefingers, she pointed to her protruding stomach. "I'm carrying this blasted baby, I'm delivering it and I'm going to be the main caregiver, so I'm going to decide what's best with my instincts. If you think it's going to be different, you better shove that thought right now."
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Hajari couldn't believe what he was hearing! They had decided on raising this baby together, decided he would be a father to the child. And now Ianthe was saying he wasn't going to be a part of the decision-making when it came to his own child!? His brow furrowed. Because apparently, you make foolish decisions.
"So now I'm a fool?" Hajari asked, his voice raising somewhat as well. "Where the hell do you come off, Ianthe?" He cursed, his fists clenching. "I realize you're going to be more involved in our child's life than I am. But that doesn't mean my opinions are automatically foolish and I should be ignored." He lifted one hand and held up his first finger. "I made one damn suggestion about your son. One! And now suddenly, everything I say is horse crap?" He should never have admitted to her that he thought he might not be a good father. Because now, apparently she believed that's what he was going to be, without even giving him a chance. He shook his head, letting out a breath of air, his shoulders sagging. "I wasn't aware the punishment for not being absolutely perfect was having my parental rights revoked and my opinions instantly rejected." He could guarantee that she wasn't going to be perfect. But that didn't mean he was going to completely disregard what she had to say!
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No, her being more involved in the child's life didn't mean his opinions should be ignored. But it sure as hell meant she was going to have a lot more say than he was! "Have all the opinions you want, Hajari," Ianthe said. "But in the end, I'm making the final decision." There was no way she was losing her control over this kid. She gave up control with Briscoe; she wasn't doing it with Hajari. This was her child. She was going through all the pain, she was experiencing all the changes, and all he had to do was sit back and watch. Seemed a little off that they would then have equal say in the child's life. If he wanted that then he could bake the thing, expel it through his manhood, and then carry it around everywhere while it sucked off his tits. But since that wasn't going to happen any time soon, she had the upper hand in this screwed up life she'd found herself in.
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Now Hajari was really confused. What in the hell was she actually saying!? First he didn't have a say, now he did, but she was going to make the decision anyways!? What!? "Damn it, Ianthe, would you stop twisting things around!?" He demanded, his voice firm but not shouting. His jaw clenched. "You and I agreed that we'd raise this child together. Then you tell me to keep my damn mouth shut because my ideas are foolish. And now I can say what I want but don't expect you to listen to it!?" He swore, scooting back from the table and off his cushion, leaning his back up against the wall behind him and folding his arms across his chest, knees slightly bent. "What the hell is it, Ianthe?"
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When you ask her her name.
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