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  #1  
Unread 20th February 2009, 07:15 PM
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how to tell a church you're leaving?

How do you tell a church you are leaving?Jan
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  #2  
Unread 20th February 2009, 08:03 PM
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The first thing is not to make a scene. A simple, codial, honest letter with a brief explanation, void of any real detail would be acceptable. If it's for a positive reason, then more detail wouldn't pose any harm. Think of it as a cordial letter of resignation from a white collar job in which you wouldn't want to burn any bridges.
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  #3  
Unread 20th February 2009, 08:50 PM
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When I left a church I told the minister quietly. The reason was that i didn't feel I was free to worship God the way I believe he wanted me to. I told the minister it had nothing to do with him. I also told a few people at church but for the most part said nothing to anyone else. When the minister offered me a farewell I refused saying it would lead to awkard questions for which the answer might offend some people.

If the minister is part of the problem like I'm thinking he is then that could be different. Simply saying I believe God is calling us to worship elsewhere for now. That way he can't argue with it because the claim is that its from God and the for now at the end says there is a possibility that this may not be permanent which is the whole not burning bridges thing Bob was talking about.

Of course you could just leave and if anyone follows up then tell them.
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  #4  
Unread 21st February 2009, 01:59 AM
Ps46:10 Jer33:3

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Why are you leaving? That makes a difference. Generally, I would say 'leave well'. It is possible your reasons are negative and maybe it is right to be honest. Or maybe if they are negative (valid or not) then you might just want to give a brief explanation without all the reasons or detail. If it's for positive reasons, like a move into ministry, face to face is good.

I am looking to likely leave a church. I am just waiting on some information from somewhere about a different situation before I do. Basically I plan to say that I will be leaving as we are moving away and feel it is best that we serve the remaining time at the church we have been providing some practical support at. There's a ton of negatives but I don't plan to mention them.
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  #5  
Unread 21st February 2009, 11:55 AM
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We've always endeavored to "leave well". I don't feel real fellowship despite activity there. It has nothing to do with the pastor or people specifically. Our daughter does not like it, tho she's been baptized. She really liked the church last week that we visited. I don't think this other church is the kind where I could still be part of a small group and not go to church. Incidentally, I went on a field trip and the lady I rode with was telling me about her ladies bible study. I told her I'd keep it in mind.
Jan
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Unread 21st February 2009, 03:05 PM
Ps46:10 Jer33:3

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If you leave and don't give a reason, it is likely the pastor or someone on their team will contact you to see if there is a problem. Normally this is whether you have had your feelings hurt, etc, as they will want to attempt to resolve them. If you don't want this kind of follow up, just state that you feel it is your time to move on - or if you want to get into specifics, that while you do not have any special problem with the church, you feel you'd like to check out another church where you have a friend for a while. Then, if you don't feel that the other church is where you want to be after all, you can always return.
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  #7  
Unread 21st February 2009, 05:56 PM
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The priest will understand. Tell him the truth why you are leaving.

Good luck!
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  #8  
Unread 22nd February 2009, 04:49 PM
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Well I told a deacon's wife I told her we found another church when invited by someone else to her church. (they were our small group leaders)
I hope that is enough but I feel it may not be.
jan
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  #9  
Unread 22nd February 2009, 05:27 PM
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You never know how people will respond until it happens, but I agree that it should be as subtle as possible. Some people will not notice that you have left, so don't be hurt if people don't follow up. Especially if the fellowship aspect is weak.

If you are in leadership, make sure that people under your care understand what's going on, and you give them fair warning. Set up a plan for transition. But if you're just attending small group, you could even stay in the small group and attend the other church. People do that.

I think it's more important to explain to your group than to the church officials, since they pray for you and probably know you better.
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  #10  
Unread 22nd February 2009, 07:53 PM
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I'm sure they will probably tell the pastor as he meets with small group leaders regularly.
Jan
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