Hi All,
It's great to know so many people are interested in adopting!
I myself was adopted as a baby!
If anyone is interested in an adoptee's thoughts and feelings on what its like to be adopted etc I'd be happy to share!
My Adoptee Journey & Dealing with Unresolved Grief & Loss
Hi John and others touched by adoption! My name is Jody Moreen and
I am an adoptee that was raised in a loving Christian family. I knew I was adopted at the earliest age. I had a very positive experience and was afforded many opportunities- attending church and Sunday school and church youth groups growing up- Christian camps. I attended a private Christian college.College was a wonderful time in my life and I was thriving on having many friends, leadership positions on campus, good grades and a steady boyfriend. When I went to college in the Chicagoland area and my parents retired to sunny Florida, I went through some clinical depression. I had to quit school for a semester when I had trouble studying and coping. A college chaplain spent many sessions with me to encourage me during that dark period. I seemed to intellectually understand my parents decision to move far away, but I believe my emotions felt some deep abandonment. I now have come to understand that this loss in my life triggered unresolved and buried emotions I carried relating to my adoption.I had never allowed my mind to explore the many complex feelings that an adoptee faces- the who, what, when, where and why of my birth, beginnings, adoption and circumstances that caused my adoption.We never talked about why I was adopted nor the circumstances surrounding it. I was raised in the closed adoption era and many adoptive families were given little to no history on the adoptee's birth family, cultural backround or medical history. So when my depression hit, I have read that a new loss, can trigger the buried unresolved loss and grief emotions that lie dormant. That can make the response to the new loss exaggerated and intense, dealing then with layers of loss that have surfaced. My dear college friends would try to make me see all I had to be thankful for and were well meaning. But there comments made me feel worse and guilty for not being grateful. It was the same issue that many adoptees from the closed adoption era faced relating to adoption. Being told to be grateful they were chosen and adopted and loved. Many knew that and embraced that reality, but the beauty of the adoption and new family is not the area of deep pain, challenge and struggle. That I had a WONDERFUL family was known to me and cherished. But what happened BEFORE I came to this family and the sad feelings of being orphaned and relinquished had never been explored or processed. And the loss of the biological connection with persons who looked like me, and shared my ethnic/medical history was real but never acknowledged. My breakthrough and road to recovery at that time came when my chaplain counselor told me "You have PERMISSION to grieve your parent's moving" WOW! It was like a new freedom came to be validated for my feelings and given permission to feel them and not suppress them. In mid-life I was supported and encouraged by my dear mom to do a search for my birth family. After a 2 and 1/2 year wait I found 3 birth sisters and some extended birth family relatives.My birth parents were deceased by the time I found my birth familiy. They welcomed me and shared with me about my birth parents and family history and gave me wonderful photographs. During the waiting time before my reunion with my sisters I spent time in prayer, attended adoption triad support meetings and wrote many letters to try to uncover my life's mystery. God has lead me to use what I have learned in my own life to encourage and help other adoptees and those touched by adoption. I lead an adoption triad support group monthly to provided a safe place for adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents to share their adoption journeys- the joys, challenges and unresolved issues. I am former editor of Adoptees Blessings Journal a 20 page free publication of adoption testimonies, stories, poems and book reviews. I also feel fortunate to do phone mentoring to adoptees and others touched by adoption. My passion is to encourage adoptees in their lifelong adoption journey, to resolve any adoption issues that they may harbor and see their identity in the Lord Jesus Christ and His plan for their lives. A verse God gave me on my journey while searching was from the book of John. You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
I pray many adoptees will come to the place of peace that I have been so fortunate to arrive at.
Blessings to all those touched by adoption! Jody
See my Blog online called AdopteesCafe that has Christian devotions for adoptees. I will add a link in my profile here on Christian Forums! I am also on Facebook.
I as well was an adoptee and was adopted into the home I am currently in when I was 5 weeks old! I am so grateful for the sacrifice that my birth mother and father did when they gave me up, and I am forever grateful for my current family and their love for me!
__________________ Mark 8:34
...If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
Hebrews 12:1-2
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Adoptee 
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