Originally Posted by Autumnleaf 
What is different about this man that will make a marriage with him work where the previous one failed? - Many people remarry the same kind of person which brings up the same types of problems. Don't fall for the same trap twice.
Why isn't he already married? He is a middle aged fellow, I gather. Is it really because you two are destined for each other or is there something about him that isn't quite right?
Do you want a husband or a friend or a friend with privileges? Be clear about what you want or you might end up with something you didn't want and have to go through the process of getting rid of.
If you consider everything and he still seems like the right guy to marry then do it and never look back.
Wow AL, thank you for those fair and considerate questions and thoughts. You may not actually want an answer to these questions... I mean, it's not really important that you all know the answers. But I will type them out anyway. That way you'll know if you are indeed curious, and I'll get to consider them in print.
First, my new man is the OPPOSITE of my spouse in pretty much every way possible. He has completely different interests and priorities, and most importantly, he is a Christian (dh is an atheist).
He's been married and divorced once. Since his divorce he's had one long-term serious relationship which ended this last summer. He wanted to marry her, she decided he wasn't "the one" for her. He is an open book about this relationship(and his whole life), so I can ask him anything I want/need to know about it.
Honestly, I would like a friend with priviledges (a live-in lover would be nice). But, the Lord says that is wrong for a reason. It leads to pain! I know from personal experience. I have a desire for the priviledges that can only be found within the confines of marriage. Since my male friend and I are both Christians and we believe what our Lord has to say about it, to have marriage priviledges - we must get married.
I don't want to rush into a second marriage just for the physical intimacy that I have denied myself for almost two years now though. So we will build our friendship and Godly foundation for marriage. Then, when we are both ready and the timing is right, we will marry.
Yeah, that felt good to type out. Thanks for asking AL.
It's been awhile since we talked last. I hope your situation is better now. 
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