I was just wondering if anyone had been sterilised in their 20s, before children or after 1 child... or if, despite your convictions and being honest with the doctor, your doctors have refused and told you that they won't sterilise until you're in your mid- to late-thirties or something.
Well, I can't speak for myself as my husband was over 40 when he got the snip, but a friend of mine said she couldn't get her tubes tied before she was 30, and she already had two children. She wanted a tubal when she was 27 or 28 I believe (after #2 was born), but she had to wait.
It really depends on the doctor though, because I know of people who got sterilized at a younger age. It seems that doctors have more objections to sterilizing women under 30 than men under 30 - I don't know if that's because of reversal success or because they assume women will change their mind sooner (because all women want children deep down ).
We were lucky with our first doctor, but if we hadn't been, we would have searched until we found one - eventually there will be a doctor who will do it.
When my husband was undergoing the procedure, the nurse chitchatted with him to distract him from the pain, and she asked him what he did for a living, and what I did. He answered that I had just finished my masters degree. Then the nurse asked him, almost in awe, how I had managed to finish my degree while taking care of the children. "We don't have any," my husband replied. "What, not even one?", the nurse asked, very surprised. Then after a while she said, "Well, that's an option too." It obviously hadn't crossed her mind that not all vasectomies are for dads. But the doctor wasn't surprised, and didn't ask. My husband had called for an appointment, and they gave him a date for the procedure - no questions asked. (We had had a talk with our family doctor first - but looking back that wasn't even necessary, as the hospital didn't ask for references.)
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Last edited by Rebekka; 26th January 2009 at 08:29 AM.
Well for us it's a little bit different. Yes, we are currently child-free and plan on being that way for at least another 3 years. But we do eventually want to have children. (Right now it's not possible due to our living situation, he just started a new job, I'm a full time student... So having kids now would be difficult for us to handle.)
I'm on the pill so we don't have an oops. And we also use the pull out method. I know it's not 100%, but between the two we haven't had any kids yet.
If by some chance I were to get pregnant now, we would still love the baby. It would be much more difficult though. Which is why we're waiting until I graduate from college and we get settled down somewhere. (Currently living with his mom. Plus we both hate living in FL so we want to move back north after I graduate.)
We're child-free right now because of our situation we're in. Maybe if things were different and a little more stable we would consider having kids now. But it's going to be at least another 3 years before we do that.
If you are not sterilised, and are merely on birth control, how do you cope with the possibility - however small - of the birth control failing and a child being conceived?
I try not to think about it. But if it were to happen, I'd want to give the child up for adoption.
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I was on the BC pill for about 3 years and got sick of some of the side effects. Plus I didn't always trust it to work 100% (thank God it did!). I finally told my DH it was either going to be him or me. So after doing the research and seeing that a vasectomy was much less risky than a tubal ligation, the DH had the snip-snip done.
Hi everyone! I rarely come on here but was bored so thought I'd check it out. Thought I'd throw in my experience.
My husband had no problems getting a vasectomy. He was 27, I was 19, and we weren't married yet. He told the dr. we didn't want kids, he got snipped, easy as that.
I've never been on birth control and it's been 9 1/2 years since his vasectomy.. Sure I've had many fears that I was pregnant or that the procedure may come undone but I'm a worrier anyway.
If I got pregnant my husband would first of all wonder who's it was. We would definitely keep the baby. There would be no other options for us.
You can slap me...if I've traveled beyond the warm fuzzy meadow.
I just couldn't. There's no way I could go through the trauma of being pregnant and giving birth just to give up the baby. I think adoption is great and am all for it...I just personally couldn't give up a baby for adoption. I really admire people who are able to. Make sense?
I would think that with as many people as there are in the world doctors wouldn't care if a small amount of the population asked to be sterilized. I'm always surprised when I hear or read people who have docs who won't, for example, perform a vasectomy on a guy until he's much older or already had kids.
That reminds me of what a co-worker said about over-population.
This lady at work told me she chose to only have one child because the world is over-populated and how her mother still gives her a hard time (the only child is now an adult) about only having one child. I figured I'd be safe telling this co-worker I was childfree not only because of her comment to me but also because she is very open-minded. Wrong! You should have seen the look on her face when I told her I was childfree and my MIL still doesn't like me after almost 11 yrs because of it. She said, "You're not having ANY children? Well I can see why your MIL is upset. How do your parents feel?"
What?!?!?! I was so surprised at her reaction and I kind of joked, "I'm just helping out the over-population situation." And she looked at me like I was nuts. Sigh.
Just so you know, my husband doesn't feel he could give up a baby after it was born (though he'd do whatever had to be done I'm sure if the situation warranted it). And my ex husband? Forced me to keep the child that I bore, he threatened to divorce me back then if I tried to give her up for adoption (a divorce which happened anyway!).
So adoption isn't an option for a lot of people for whatever reason. I can sort of see the other side of things but frankly I don't subscribe to it. I'd love to see a child of mine raised in a loving home.
Originally Posted by Epoh99
I would think that with as many people as there are in the world doctors wouldn't care if a small amount of the population asked to be sterilized.
It isn't that.
It's that a huge percentage of women and men getting sterilized young or without having children first end up wanting it reversed. And surgery is NOT a toy, you know? Especially for women, it is major, invasive, surgery. Doctors need patients to understand that sterilization is to be considered permanent -- but they never do think of it this way.
I feel like people getting frivalous sterilizations though have ruined my chances of having one blah.
).
But the doctor wasn't surprised, and didn't ask. My husband had called for an appointment, and they gave him a date for the procedure - no questions asked. (We had had a talk with our family doctor first - but looking back that wasn't even necessary, as the hospital didn't ask for references.) 
We would definitely keep the baby. There would be no other options for us. 
blah. 
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