pray for a broken heart and mind

Hey Im back again, I know even though I may never change and always come back and nothing changes I have to try

I want to open up and pray for healing for a shattered heart and a mind that hurts me so much.

I can feel the pain yell at me from my heart, it hurts so much and my mind the way the thoughts happen and my logic and eccense, I can feel its stabbing pain because of OCD and guilt, and right and wrong.

I really wish someone could understand How I feel, I really wish I can.. my mind condemns me for everything I do, there is no joy, even if I do right even if I do wrong

I dont know if this makes sense, But I wish i can sin so I can be free!! that is how i feel:S i know its wrong, but its honest, so much legalism built in mind, i have to be free

there are addictions in my self, that I ask for healing, that i ask for knowledge and light, and to be free from.

more important i ask for a change of heart, I ask for this one thing I know I need with God, a revelation of Him , a revelation of Him, to Know Him, a miracle, a shifting of heart. I ask for a prayer to want to change to get better, cause of pain i dont..i hurt because of that

thank you

thank you

Also I would like to share something, I am going to try to explain it as best I can, I hope I can write well, I am not good with words.

My mind is hurting alot of me, I feel spiritually raped inside, like something has gone inside me my soul, and heart, and changed me to something I do not want, like forced desires on me that I do not want, make me like things I did not ask for. I feel controlled inside, and it hurts me so, I put it on God, because it is so confusing to me, somehow I feel it is like Him, but then I feel this bad way, raped controlled, like these desires are from Him, and I dont know. I feel angry and hurt, but that is one part of the mess.

I hope I explained it well. feelings, urges in my mind, body desires, :S

What I saw before even clicking on your post is that you are battling heavy spiritual stuff. Condemnation is big in your life. It has led to legalism and great guilt (just as your post has explained). The spirit of condemnation does reside in you, and it is not from God.

I would ask how your relationship is with your dad. I would think that you need to forgive him, maybe for a lot (if you even know him). The yelling is anger.

All I see in my mind right now is an image of a bed, with a very large devil face hovering above it. Hope this makes sense to you. This is not of God. Hope this helps, I will pray for you brother, God has not forgotten. This is very spiritual and it's tormenting you.

The more you focus on Him, the more these desires will go away. I will pray for your heart. God bless.

Are you black? The reason I ask is I keep seeing a black guy in his 20's or 30's in a suit with a nice hat doing a dance, and I don't know if it is supposed to represent you, but I keep seeing it. He keeps smiling too.

thank you for answering me, Lpe04, I am not black, I am Native, Aboriginal.

If I could see, I would see, if I could hear, I would hear, but to explain it this way, I feel smothered, like i cannot breath spiritualy, and cannot see, I feel blind, not with physical eyes but from inside, to the point, so deep to the point, I cannot accept words,because of fear, fear of pain, deep fear. I do have a dad, two of them, step dad and bio dad, i know them. And i forgive them.

If anything to tell, I am kind of new christian, well 5-6 years now, but I can say over these years, I have been manipulated by a spirit, that I thought was God, so that spirits embodied is what I think of God. When I became a christian, I was taught alot of spiritual things, dreams visions, propheizes etc, how to hear from God, deep stuff..I was taught like close your eyes, ask Jesus to show you things. I believe alot of stuff I took wrong, and i know now somethings where just now right. From this I know the Devil has used dreams and visions and the like against me, coming in the image of God, decieving me, saying nice things, but what I was shown, though was in nice words, hurt me deeply, I thought it was from God. i didnt know better, so this went on for years, and it does today, abit, however i know to test the spirits, and just dont even go what i see at night.

But in all honestly, it does affect me, its so engrained inside me, that trying to learn new things, new teachings,even true teachings is hard to see, hard to accept, because of fear. Its so deep, and spiritual, inside, deep, it hurts so much to feel this pain inside, like someone is controlling you, that me (Dustin) is trying to be kicked out of this body for something else that is trying to control me. sigh

I am so confused, this all is portrayed to me as in bible, it matches up the word, but the fruit of it is death, it hurts so much, to go to bed, sleep and see God, or is it God, tell me things that hurt so deep, to wake up, and feel it to be true, but something inside you says it is not.

it hurts so much and deep, when you hear the word Good you dont know what that is, and when you hear love, the word evil come to mind, everthing has been flipped upside down for me, right and wrong, words manipluted to mean the opposite of whats it supose to be, I do not now what is good nor bad, love or evil

these words cannot tell you how I feel, but I will tell you this, the kind and caring, person that I was, is there, but buried, I am nothing more then filled with anger and rage, I know what it know feels like to be utterly helpless out of control, people may say you have a choice, you can do it, Now i know what those people are like who come to us, so deeply hurt so deeply tormented and helpless feel like, I cannot do anything, because of this thing inside me. I AM NOT LYING!..lol

I cannot explain in words, but its like something went inside me, tried to change me inside without me asking for it, giving me desires and emotions I did not want, all in the Name of God, saying this is good, its from God, its not that easy to discern, its not like the feeling and desires to do evil like envy, its things that most would consider good, like love, attaction, yet it tears me up inside, and i know deep down someting is up..this is all done, thinking its of God.

I know I have OCD...I have struggled with the Unpardonable sin issue and I know its part of this. its been so twisted around, and the things I was taught by Christians did not help. You know how hard it is, to have this forced upon you, to have these things inside me against The Holy Spirit, when all along I was honestly whole heartily trying to give it to God, but the more I listened the more I tried to press to God, or what I thought it was, the more this was being forced on me, I feel infected inside.

so deep is this blindess and pain, if one thing I need to forgive is God, yet I hear the echo of my words in my heart, and what I spoke, it hurts me, it terrifies me.

it is not the yelling of my father, it is of pain. I feel guilty over everything, in all honestly everything i do,deep in my heart, i cannot feel as I do anything right. this keeps me doing things wrong, cause i cannot tell, and want to be free.

I wish I could stick out my finger and touch someones heart, in order for you to understand what I am feeling what i see and feel.

There are times I almost collapse, because of this...I feel such an urge for someone understand, to know how serious this is for me, to know how much it hurts, to feel a divided line between me and God, and His Spirit.

Thanks I hope I can talk more,

thanks for considering me and taking the time for me, thanks for helping me, and answering me

the things you say that are not from God, I could not understand nor see it that way, its like my mind what i learned what is engrained in me is so hard to get rid of, I cannot see God because of this.. its not that i dont want to know..I just seem not too..because I want to please God

HoneyComb, I understand what you are going through. It's ok. I perfectly understand. You are right, the spirits are not from God but from the Adversary. The vision I saw of the devil face hovering over the bed maybe God showing you that the dreams that you have had at night were not of Him. Of course I prayed for you and I saw the thing lift.

A lot of this stuff is linked to your ancestors, repent of it. It's good to test the spirits.

The image I saw was of a light skinned darker person, which explains what I saw. I saw you/this person dancing and dressed very nicely with a big smile on his face. In fact I still see it. I believe it is you after you come through all this, and you look very happy, so there is much hope for you. I'm glad to help, I'll be back on later. God bless brother.

I think you may have a special calling, considering you do see these things, and the Holy Spirit is obviously enlightening you to what is going on, so you may have been blind before, but not anymore (or your eyes are being opened). I do believe that you have some type of special calling though, and there are obviously heavy attacks on you spiritually, which God is showing you. I'll keep in touch. God bless.

Hi brother.. I prayed for you the other day..

And here you are..

I will pray for a change of heart.. for freedom and whatever the LORD leads me to pray.. and I am very glad you came back!!

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