pray for a broken heart and mind

Hey thanks for your reply

I know I need to forgive people, not sure who or what....:S
What I did one time is took a pen and paper and prayed first and then went through each person I knew and I sat and thought is there anything this person did to me that I am still hurting or upset over ,if nothing ,move on to next person , some people hurt me bad repeatedly in serious ways .I wrote it all down.some people it was just a few minor things just bothering me a little,I wrote it down.I went through each person and asked God to remeind me of anything I was not remebering on my own.After I was done ,I went to Jesus in prayer and brought up each incident and talked to Jesus about what happened and how it made me feel , then I made a decsion to forgive them amd asked God to heal me , I did this with each person.I made a decision to leave it with God after that.I want to do this again because I was in such a bad state, so I want to do it again where I can focus more and have more faith this time.Yet a start is a start right.It takes a decision.
I am not sure why its hard for me to look to Jesus or understand the bible,
No matter how hard it is to look to Jesus, we still need to do it, because it is so important in our life.Jesus said if we seek Him we will find Him.So I think no matter what goes on in a person's mind or imaginations or feelings we need to still seek Jesus, we need to get on our knees somewhere private and close the door and pray.

Thy kingdom come Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven
A time where we make commitment to serve and obey Jesus with our whole heart soul and mind,we submit every part of ourselves to total dedication to Jesus and agree to submit to Him and obey Him as our Lord and Master

give us this day our daily bread,
asking Jesus to meet our needs whatever they are, and asking Him to teach us who He is.
and telling Him about all our problems and hurts and asking Him to heal us and give us rest
Jesus said come to me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest
take My yoke upon you and learn of Me for I Am meek and lowly of heart, My yoke is easy and my burden is light and ye shall find rest for your soul.

forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us
we confess our sins and ask for forgiveness and ask Him to cleanse us in His Blood,we also at this time bring up each person that has hurt us and tell Jesus about our feelings and then forgive them from our heart .Also if while we are praying we remember that somebody has some grudge against us we are to go to them, and be reconciled with them if at all possible, before we continue praying, in this case it is if they have something against us and not us having something against them.If we have something against them we are to forgive them at the same time we are asking Jesus to forgive us.Up to 490 times each person,or in other words countless times.We are to pray for people who have hurt us.

Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil,
we tell God about our temptations and ask Him to help us be strong as we commit to follow Him,We also ask Jesus to protect us from evil.

for Thine is the kindom the power and the glory forever and ever amen.we go back to thanking Him and worshipping Him

Jesus said whatsoever you ask in My Name I will give it to you
Jesus said if you bring your sacrifec(prayer) to the alter and their remember that your brother has something against you,go first be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your prayers
Jesus said to pray for those who despitefully use us
Jesus said to pray in private without anyone knowing about it,this does not mean we cannot pray together as Jesus said where two or three are gathered in my Name there Am I in the midst of them.It just should not take the place of our private time.
we are to confess our faults to one another and pray one for another
that we may be healed
If we forgive not our enemies Jesus will not forgive us

cause if I could i would be doing alot better. I knows its because I have a false understanding, and misinterptation of bible and God and thinking how good and right that causes me to hinder from trusting Jesus etc
The only way to understand Jesus and what love is and good and right is to seek Jesus, by praying every day and reading the bible every day,even if you do not understand.Read it slowly and ask Jesus to help you understand it while you pray.The gospel of John and psalms and proverbs and Isaiah chapter 53 are very good books to start in .I would read then over and over,Jessu will begin to help you understand and your mind will be getting renewed day by day even if you do not understand at first.
Annrobert, you said if have a desire to obey Jesus..I do kind of..deep down..yet
This is all it takes , a decision deep down,Jesus gives that and He will continue to cause you to grow if you just ask Him and make that decision.
I honestly will confess..I have alot of me that does not want too...mostly because of past and pain, and misunderstanding. and anger.. Just tell Jesus all about it, again no matter what you are thinking or feeling.
I will be honest..I just dont want too,You can tell Jesus that too,He is trustworthy,you can tell Jesus anything and you can ask Jesus to make you want to and to show Himself to you and teach you what good is,only Jesus can change your heart and meet your inner most needs and give you peace and heal your mind. I honestly dont see what you guys see, and get what you guys are telling me,Only Jesus can give that to a person. My mind cannot understand what you are saying to me, what you say is all good and loving..I dont see that at all..honestly...at all..I am not lying..i honestly dont know what true love is..or what is good..when you say "mercy" .."compassion" different things come to mind...for me..theres always something else to it.something bad.etc..some rules..counter-way to it..sigh..OCD or whatever causes that to me..
Jesus can take all that confusion away,Jesus can give you clear thinking and understanding.When Jesus shows you what good is and what mercy is and what peace and joy is and what truth is,you will understand and you will want it, and through Jesus you be will set you free as you make a choice to come to Him in prayer and bible reading and opening up everything in your heart to Him fully and honestly.You will have a clear mind and be whole.
Let me be honest with my feelings.please dont condemn me.Im confused
this is how i feel inside:
"I dont care about God, of if I go back,The bible says the carnal mind cannot and willnot accept the things of God.So you ask Jesus to change you and renew a right spirit within you and you pray and you study the bible. I dont care at all..about this kingdom, love or whatever, I dont care about obedience nor walking with God...I hate God so much in deep inside, I dont care anymore..even if He loves me or whatever, I dont care..He can take his love and whatever good is..I dont care..I feel such hatred for who He is..I dont want Him in my life"

This you need to go to Jesus and confess and repent for it whether you feel like it or not and ask Him to have mercy on you and forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness, and ask Jesus cleanse you heart and make you willing to serve Him and ask Jesus to give you repentance and to save you from yourself.And stay firm with your decision to serve Jesus no matter what or how hard and stay committed to prayer every day and bible reading to renew your mind.Jesus makes all things new, and nothing is impossible for Jesus .

that is how I feel.and I am ashamed to feel that inside..it causes desires that people wish they did not have..Jesus makes all things new and He saves to the uttermost.
I honestly really really do no understand what you guys are trying to tell me..I wish I could..I am trying...I cant go back to Jessu properly or at all..heartly..if do not see any reason too.because for me..I cant..for me inside..I cant.nor words..I cant...if I do..its all for because I have too..its the right thing...but I have regret when I do so
Only Jesus can make you understand.Just make a decision to go back to Jesus ,even if you think you cannot do it right do it anyway, even if you do not want to do it anyway.Jesus can fix your heart and teach you truth and give you clear mind and peace and cleanse you and make you whole.Jesus makes all things and nothing is impossible for Him.Jesus saves to the uttermost.Jesus is our only hope.
I am sorry if I am rewriting over and over..I am sorry if I am wasting your time or acting like a baby.I am sorry for wasting pages on a forum that make me look like a loser..HoneyComb you are wasting our time or anything, and you are not a loser,you a diamond in the rough.You do not have to apologize.
I wont want a pity party..if i did..I would resign and not come back.i hate that stuff..
so I ask forgiveness..for wasting so much space.You have not wasted space,we all use these forums and many of us get support here just like you.
it is really really hard for me.I want you all to know that.in my mind.the way i think..its not healthy..like mentall illness..
Jesus can and does heal our minds.
sigh....i dont understand at all:S

hey elijah.I am on the otherside of the country to where that is..like thousands of miles away..im on west coast..thats east coast..would never make it there